Its a good day...

Last night, in my 45 minutes of awake time at 1am (not including the other millions of times I was up putting the pacifier in Miles' mouth) I was feeding my sweet babe. He almost instantly went from up screaming and crying to dreamland as soon as the bottle hit his mouth. He drank nice and slow and I just watched him.
He's 4 1/2 months now. He's so big, so not even close to the newborn he once was.
I see the pictures from the hospital and almost don't recognize that baby...Only 4 1/2 months ago! Time is going by fast. TOO fast.
My baby can now sit in his Johnny Jumper and his exasauser. He's almost outgrown his bouncy chair because he trys to sit up in it. He's outgrown his infant carseat. He's outgrowing almost all of his 6=9 month clothing.
I sat, I watched him eat and knew that my baby would soon be a boy. It was hard to let go of Logan's babyhood. I see Logan STILL of course as my baby. But babies don't go to preschool and ride their bike super fast with his training wheels. Babies don't decide what he wants to eat or help their mommy find the car in the parking lot.
Babies don't tell their mom how pretty she looks when she's in her sweats with no make up on.
Nope...He's not even close to a baby anymore. In fact, he's closer to 4 than he is to 3.
Today, as we were walking into school he grabbed my hand. He said, "mom, I love holding your hand." He has no idea how much I love holding his hand right back. I realize that soon there will be no hand to hold. Very soon. Our 5 yr old neighbor wouldn't be caught dead holding his moms hand. I rubbed his still baby soft hand and made it sink into my memory.
Going back to last night, after Miles' bottle I put him up on my shoulder and he did what he always does and snuggled his head in the crease of my neck and shoulder and just fell asleep. I smelled him, I felt the weight of his body on mine, I listened to his breathing, I sat there soaking it all in. I held him tight. I didn't mind being awake.
He still needs me 100%. Everything he does, I have to do for him. Logan, not much at all. He tells me, "mom, I'm going to go potty! I'll be right back!" and off he goes! I used to have to come with him all the time. He says, "Mom, I'm going to get a juice box!" I used have to get his juicebox for him!
He eats a turkey and cheese sandwich like a big boy. No cutting up his food anymore.
Soon enough Miles will start being able to do things by himself too. Soon, he'll be able to hold his bottle, he'll be able to find his own pacifier, he'll be able to sit and play with his toys. While that's all a welcome stage, it just means that he is one more step closer to being a 'boy'.
I love my boys so much that I don't think I could continue to breath if something happened to them.
It's a good, good day in mommyhood!