A bit of 'infertile jen' appears
Two bits actually...
First, I'm like a kid in the candy store right now.
I had 5 vials of blood taken on Wednesday. They were all repeats of the testing I had after Miles' birth. (auto-immune disorders, liver, hormones etc...) and I made sure to sign the consent form to get a copy of the exact numbers sent to my home. I swear I should go into the medical field because I get so interested in all things related. Or maybe it's just all things ME related.
Either way, I know that I know more than the 'average joe' when it comes to many things lab related. I know what my FSH should be, my PT/PTT, my liver, etc....
Seeing I had a lot of ABNORMAL readings, I'm hoping that they will have settled down to where they belong now that we are 6+ months after HELLP.
HOWEVER, the ONE thing I am SOOOOOOO curious about is my FSH. My FSH was the main reason I went through secondary infertility.
It's sortof sad that I know I know more than my GP about FSH. I know that your best FSH reading is the worst one you have had. You are only as good as your worst reading.
*link for FSH*
My worst reading was 13.3.
Yeah...I'm lucky.
Since Miles, I've been getting my period on a SEMI-regular basis, so I'm wondering if my FSH will be in the lower range. My GP seems to think that if my FSH reading is, say an 8, that I'm 'cured'. I know that to be false.
Anyway, I'm so curious if it's going to be a 8 or 28!
Days people, in a few short days I'll have my results!
I'm also specifically looking forward to my ANA, PT/PTT. (I also got a big list of other things run; estradol, thyroid, pituitary gland etc.....but I'm not so much interested in them)
Does it really matter, you might be thinking, about my FSH.
Not fertility related anymore. The thing is, if I AM going into premature menopause, it will be important for me to take care of myself in other ways that a normal almost 28 yr old wouldn't have to worry about.
--
I want another child.
I want a daughter.
I know that many moms of only one sex think they want another child too. I assuming I'm totally normal.
Watching my friends who have daughters makes me feel as though I'm missing something that my heart really wanted and really might need.
It's really quite the right time for me to start thinking this way.
When Logan was 8 months old, we decided to start TTC and got pregnant right as he was 9 months old. Lost it, of course, but you see where I'm going. Miles is almost *gulp* 7 months old.
Of course, there was the 'we only want 2 children', then there is the HELLP syndrome that initially was the stopping point, now of course Dave already had his surgery.
Which brought the topic of conversation to adoption the other night.
Dave has some issues with the idea. Specifically because he'd never want a child to feel different because we didn't adopt all of our children. I do see where he is coming from, but also realize that he has never been around adoption. I however grew up with adoption. My cousins were both adopted. One from China at 4yrs old, and one from foster care at 10yrs old. Adoption is not foreign to me. It is to Dave though.
It is something that we will discuss, probably over years I'd imagine.
It's something that is tucked inside of my head that will be brought out at just the right time.
Something that really is exciting to me!
posted by Jen at 9:52 AM
8 Comments:
I can relate about test results! I never let my doctor just tell me "normal" I want the numbers! Last week I was all excited because they actually gave me my ultrasound report to bring to my doctor. I spent all afternoon looking up what all the abbreviations meant.
I'm sure your dh will warm up to adoption. The familys I know who adopted are all mixed biological/adopted.
12:29 PM
There are so many families that adopt and then end up with biological children as well. I think that child, if handled well by the parent, will feel so special, having been CHOSEN.
1:27 PM
T is just 6 months and I've got a bad case of daughter envy. I would't trade him for a million perfect little girls, let alone one, but I do want a daughter someday.
If we try for another, and have a boy, well, I'm already getting dh interested in the idea of adoption. Even if we do have a bio daughter I'd like to pursue adoption for a third child (though we're not sure if we want 3 yet).
7:08 PM
I want a girl too. I sympathize....
8:49 AM
i go for numbers too...i want to know just how normal or abnormal i really am!
4:15 PM
I never understand all the test results. I hope that you get the answers you are hoping for.
9:43 AM
More in response to your post on my blog. Yes, everything is much better as far as my oldest goes, things are almost done, almost have the boy's name and such, but C. is done dealing with it.
I can't really relate to your post, so I won't say anything that could be thought as obnoxious or just rude.
8:19 PM
Good luck with the test results. I hope you get the answer you are looking for.
As for wanting a girl and considering adoption, my SIL is going through this right now. She has two beautiful boys and she had her tubes tied (she had rough pregnancies and lost one in between both boys). She figured since there hasn't been a female born into her husband's family in over 50 years there was little use in trying for a girl. She is considering adopting a little girl and I really hope they do :) One of my best friends growing up was adopted and he had a younger brother that was his parents biological child and his parents made sure to make sure both boys felt equally loved and wanted.
6:26 AM
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