Rewind button

I can't remember which blog pointed this song and it's words out to me, but whoever you are, I listened and understood.

Have you heard that song by Anna Nalick:

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe

Yesterday, in my insane list of things to do we were on our way to gymnastics class. I feel lately that we are too busy for our own good. We've got play dates and preschool and lessons and then I have 2 part time businesses and meetings and Dave's got a plate full of stuff to do as well.
I feel like all we do is rush through our day to get everything done.
My house is in the biggest shambles that it has ever been right now, and in 10 minutes I'm off to be the preschool helper for the day. I'd love to stay home and WORK. But, saying that, I'm also glad to go.

So, like I was saying, we were on our way to gymnastics yesterday and Logan was talking a mile a minute. He was filling me in on his dreams and his likes and dislikes and how he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and he just kept going and going and Miles would crack in every once and awhile mimicking what Logan just said and then this song came on. (whoa....run on sentence maybe?)

And all I could hear was the lyrics and see my kids in the rear view mirror and instantly the world just slowed down.
My baby is 5 1/2 just about.
My BABY is over 2.
Logan is just the love of my life right now. He obviously LOVES me and he is sweet and kind and has a great imagination and shares everything with me and trusts me and sometimes I truly don't feel worthy of his love. He's so intense with his love and his feelings and I'm very blessed. With the big 6 month countdown to a lifetime of school, I cherish this time right now. It won't be this way for much longer. I mean, it will, but then again, he's going to have so many of his own experiences that I won't be a part of. Sometimes I just look at him, I memorize his face, his eyes, his sweet still somewhat baby-ish features that are quickly fading away and I want to freeze time. I want him to want to hug me again, I want him to lay in my arms for a nice rock again. It's never going to happen.

Which brings me to Miles. Miles, well, he's a full fledged 2 year old. He loves the words "no" "mine" "HEY!" (He says that when he's mad at me!) He's naughty and strong willed and sometimes I want to pull my hair out! Then he comes up and says "Piss mom" (Kiss...haha) or he'll just run up and quick hug me and then jot off again to the fun.
He doesn't NEED me like Logan did and does. In gymnastics class he does his thing. He doesn't want to hold my hand or dance with me like the other kids do. He likes to do his thing, be independent and quickly fled the baby stage. He stopped sitting in a booster seat at about 18 months because he wanted to be like Logan. He quit sippy cups around 1 or so because "I do it!"...well, OK! He's growing up fast. Yet, he still needs his mom sometimes.
But I know that he he won't NEED my for as long as Logan needed me.

This is it! This is the point in life that is just so much fun. Hard, YES! But life is giving me such huge rewards with every 'piss' and I love you.
I really do wish I could find that rewind button and go back 6 months, 2 years, 3 years. I want to hold Logan again, I want to feed Miles one last bottle.
But, such is life.
It keeps going fast, then faster.