Scream
OK, I have a MAJOR issue that I'll take any advice from anyone who has any.
Miles has turned into a SCREAMER!
You have no clue how frustrating this is right now.
When he 'argues' with Logan, he screams.
When I tell him he can't have any fruit snacks, he screams.
When he wants to go outside, but I'm making dinner, he screams.
LOUD.
Now, I know you can't tell just what kind of family we have our what kind of parents we are but let me just state right now, this is NOT a screaming family.
Logan didn't scream, I don't scream and of course Dave doesn't scream.
We rarely raise our voices unless we have to yell OVER the yelling from Logan and screaming from Miles.
I.don't.know.what.to.do.
This kid has guts and he will not back down.
We've started time outs.
What does he do on the time out? SCREAMS!
Fine, scream away as long as you stay in that place, right?
But honestly, I HATE THE SCREAMING!
Lately I have a headache every day, and I'm really dreading the morning because as happy and cute as he is first thing in the morning, as soon as he asks for fruit snacks, which he does EVERY morning and EVERY morning I say no, he screams.
My nerves are frazzled.
It's like I'm not in charge because I know this isn't something I can change.
I can't MAKE him not scream, right?
I can put him in time outs when he starts screaming, but it just encourages MORE screaming.
So, here's where I stand today.
He screams, he sits on the rug by the door. I can't do a time out elsewhere because he won't stay. Actually if he's REALLLLLY screaming for a long time I'll put him in his crib, but he's almost figured out climbing out and I dont' want that.
I'm not just caving.
I'm being the parent.
But I'm seriously thinking that I'm losing the battle.
HELP!
posted by Jen at 8:00 AM
6 Comments:
Ahhh the screaming days. Yes... I remember that high pitched scream. The one where they had to stop, think about it and take a deep breath in order to acheive just the right ear-piercing pitch.
Yep.
Most of the time I guess I just stood there and smiled or laughed at them. Which of course pisses them to no end. LOL.
I also would shrug my shoulders and walk away, telling them we can discuss it when they are finished. (This takes the drama out of it).
You can also pick them up - place them in their bedroom and tell them when they are free to throw their tantrum all they want IN THEIR room, so we don't have to hear it, and come out when they are done.
Just stay calm - blow it off and soon they realize it accomplishes nothing that they hoped for. :)
9:12 AM
First, never ever ever give in on the point in question, once the screaming starts.
Don't start a battle over something minor.
If you spot it coming, try to distract. With tantrums generally, I found by far the best thing to do was to walk off and start doing something REALLY interesting just in view. If you have another child, all the better. Ignore screaming one and take no 1 child off with you to do something fun.
I feel for you, I really do! But this stage will pass1
x
10:43 AM
We only had one screamer out of four. My third discovered that if she screamed in her brother or sister's face it usually worked better than hitting. She started when she was two and quit when she learned that speaking was more effective.
I don't guess I can really offer you a "solution" per se. But I will say, "Hang in there. It will pass."
With Bissy, we avoided conflict when we could. We offered alternatives instead of saying "No". And we never, ever gave her what she wanted when she screamed. In fact, she lost things she had when she screamed. Smart kid that she is, she soon realized that the screaming hurt her worse than us.
12:25 PM
oh yes,
I know the screaming.
f-cking drives me insane!!
we have a "crying room", scremaing room, same thing.
A safe place in the dark by himself until he can stop.
if he doesn't stop after 15 minutes or so I go in and ask if he's ready to stop. he usually stops then.
I can't say it'll work for you, but the phase will pass.
eventually.
peace
4:15 PM
I have a similiar problem that I want to write about eventually. Liam is a huge tantrum thrower with screaming AND banging his head on walls and hard floors or hitting himself in the head with toys. Its AWFUL.
I want to protect him from hurting himself, but I don't want him to think the tantrums are getting him attention. BUT DEAR GOD I WANT ALL THE NOISE TO STOP!
And I fear that our neighbors will turn us in. HE screams like we're killing him.
I hope you find answers, because I need them. I feel your pain!
Oh, and remind me if you think about it that I have some cute pics of Liam in his M*baby shirt. =)
2:21 PM
I had to delurk for this one, because even though my princess just turned 18, I remember these days all too well...
When Evan would start her tantrums I'd pick her up, carry her like a football to her room, plop her down in the middle of the floor and turn around and walk out, closing the door behind me.
It stunned her. I can still remember her cute little face as she'd peek around the corner to see what I was doing... then utter despair because I was ignoring her. Little shit...
I wouldn't trade those days for anything.
2:34 PM
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