She's a hero, she's a mom

She's a HERO, she's a mom...you know who SHE is, she's da-da-daaa HERO MOM!

*Sesame Street fans...Hero Guy. You can thank me for getting THAT song in your head now!*

As I'm walking into the livingroom I see it. It's perched every so nicely on the sliding glass door. A spider as big as my head. Well, not really, but DAMN BIG!
DAMN! I think, WHY is Dave not here! I certainly can't LEAVE this here incase it moves and winds up in my bed or something!
CRAP!
I call Dave trying not to freak out in front of the boys even though spiders creep me out SOOOO much!
He tells me where the bug spray is and I make Logan sit on the couch and watch it. "DON'T take your eyes off it for ONE minute! Make sure if it moves, you see where it goes!!" I come back to his HEAD facing the spider, but his EYES are on PBS kids. Yeah, thanks kid. I know who not to trust with the big jobs anymore!

I then perch myself up on the couch and start spraying...pump-spray-pump-spray.
Spidy starts WALKING! I look at the spray, it says 'DEAD bugs, guaranteed!"
Damn! I call Dave, It's not DYING!! Pump-spray-pump-spray.
I have a POOL of bug killer on the tile, but the little ****er seems not to care.
FINALLY, after what seemed like forever, he falls.
I jump, do a little 'ew' dance and then watch it wriggle a bit.
Did I feel bad, as I normally would?...um...not really!
Was I afraid this big mean spider was going to come get me? HELL YES! (or maybe the troop of Spiders watching this horrible killing of the king himself!)

Anyway, after a minute or two of wriggling, his legs stopped moving.
Rest in Peace Spidy.

What does any REAL blogger do?
Why, you guessed it...grab the camera and SNAP A FEW!
Don't ANYONE tell me this isn't big!