So, I just wanted to update that I am indeed alive and well.
I have an appt on Monday for my hernia. The nurse DID say that it could be a pocket of fluid. This was after she said all was fine because my incision wasn't bleeding. I don't think that she understood that there were TWO set of stitches-one on my SKIN and one inside my body. Maybe that's why she's not the doctor.
I really just think that I hit a brick wall the other day.
I felt like this surgery was totally rushed, and while that might have been OK, it wasn't. It wasn't because Dave had 2 weeks planned to be away from his brand new job. He couldn't accept the position and that say, 'oh wait, I can't go to training', you know?
So, by the 3rd day after my surgery he was gone, and I was in charge. Sure, I had my sister come late Sunday, but it wasn't like I had any time to recover.
So what I really think was that I never really got over the surgery before I was flown head first into being home again without Dave.
We were so happy to hear that his class is taking a day off on Sunday, so it looks like he'll be home ALL day on Sunday. You have no idea how good that will feel.
I did a little calculating by going back in the calendar and realized that Dave has been gone over 7 weeks this year and it's only half way through. And we have another 3+ that are scheduled in the next 3 months. That will be 10+ weeks gone by October.
As in 2 1/2 months gone.
As in 2 1/2 months that I have been home alone with the kids from the minute they woke up to the minute they went down and every hour in between.
As in 2 1/2 months that I've gone to bed alone, and woken up alone.
2 1/2 months of the kids life that Dave has missed this year.
I think by realizing that it was just emotional.
And of course I realize that it's tough on him too. It's not just me who is going to bed alone.

I'm just so happy that he got this new job. The farthest he'll have to travel is 2 hrs away. (That is after his initial training and meetings out of the are)
No weekends, no nights, no constant 'on call'.

My neighbor gave me what I think she meant as a compliment the other day.
"You have mastered the art of single parenting"
Mastered? Well, not so much. But I have gotten pretty good at it. And no matter what I think now, I'm pretty proud of myself. It's all about easy. Easy meals, staying busy, compromising and getting out of the house multiple times a day.
Let me tell you, for any single moms reading this, you have NO IDEA how much credit I give you.

In happier news, Miles can really REALLY say 'mama' and mean it.
Now he says:

Mama
Dada
Papa(grandpa)
Pama(grandma)

Not quite like the list of some of the other blogger babes, but it is SOOO good to hear.