The everyday life of a stay at home mom just trying to stay sane.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Family, or lack there of...

This has nothing to do with pregnancy, or trying to get pregnant, or any of the sort.
I just had to get some things off my chest.
I was up WAY too late last night thinking about many things, things that are beyond my control....My extended family.
My Mom's side.
One good thing about becoming and adult, and starting your own family, is that you can decide when or if you want to detach yourself from certain parts of your extended family.
This all happened for me after my sweet Grandma died. 2 years and 3 months ago.
I miss her so much...STILL! Last night, I swear in my half asleep state, I could feel her hands...her soft skin.
She was the glue to our family.
Everyone loved her so much, that we all 'dealt' with each other in the few times a year we were all brought together. We put on fake smiles, hugs, the whole sha-bang!
If anything good came out of the loss of my Grandma, it was the fact that there would BE no more gatherings...we wouldn't have to see them anymore!
Our whole pretend world was in an instant...gone!
I was releived, really I was!
After the funeral, my mom gave my uncle a bunch of old pictures that my grandma gave her so that he could make copies of them for the rest of the family.
She still hasn't gotten them back.
She left 2 messages, and finally, I decided to email them. My parents are moving, and not one of her brothers or sisters knows where their new house is, so if they want to get the pictures back without giving the new location, it has to be soon!
You see, in my eyes, my mom is frail. She IS frail, but in a daughters eyes, you would do anything to help your mom out...to not see her hurt.
My email finally got my mom a call back, and for some DUMB reason, my mom told them I was pregnant.
I wanted NONE of them to know about this pregnancy. Its not like I will see them ever again! I won't! While I might get some of thier annoying Christmas cards, I will not send them one of mine. (You might be wondering what all happened to make us feel this way...and lets just say it goes down deep! Deeper than anything that I have ever felt before...)
So NOW...they know...they all know!
I'm so upset by this!
I don't want to get fake congratulations from them.
This is all assuming that they WILL congratulate me.
Not one of them even saw me pregnant with Logan (and one of them is actually my moms next door neighbors)
No one came to my baby shower (or bridal shower mind you)
NO ONE sent me a card to congratulate me with Logan.
No one CAME to meet logan...
So, basically, what I am doing is 100% disconnecting myself from them.
In my eyes, they are no longer anyone that I am going to get my feelings hurt over.
I have a couple of wonderful Aunts and uncles from my Dad's side, and I married into the most welcoming family on my husbands side.
Sorry!
Dumb post, but its really been eating at me how people who are considered 'family' can be so mean...

1 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

that is something that is really still on our minds Melissa...either directly naming 'her' after my grandma, or indirectly with a memory I have that would be just between her and me....:):)
Its still so hard to think there will be a baby!! I'm not there yet!!

12:15 PM

 

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