What NOT to say

I seem to have the unfortunate lack of brain power that it takes to say the right things. I usually look back at my conversations and think, why did I say that?
Sunday was no different except that instead of it being only dumb enough for me to notice, it was SOOOO blatantly dumb that I can't believe it came out of my mouth.

Spring has decided to finally come, so we were outside with our two neighbors who have children all around the same age. There are 6 children total. We have a big swing set in our back yard, then there is a blank yard and then one in the next yard. Make sense?
Usually what happens is the moms hang out at one swingset and the dads at another. The kids take turns running back and forth from set to set.

So, us three moms were talking and hanging out with the babies. My one neighbor asked again how old I was. (BTW~Something that she does every spring. I don't really know why it's important, and I'd never ask her how old she is. Maybe it's because I know she's older than I am, or maybe it's because I simply don't care. Either way, it's strange to me)
I know I'm the youngest around our neighborhood.
It used to bother me, but now I don't care. I am what I am, and what I am is 28yrs old.
She then went on to tell me that they plan on having one more child. They'd like to start trying in about 1 1/2 years. She then added that her husband would be 40 at that time. It was a sort of rolling of the eyes, raising the eyebrows type of a statement. One like, I can't believe that he'll be 40yrs old when the baby is first born.
So, when my other neighbor didn't say anything, what do I do?
Yes, I should have just simply stuck my foot in my mouth instead of opening my mouth to speak.

"Yeah, but he's not a typical 40 yr old! I mean, he's full of energy!"
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.
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FULL OF FREAKING ENERGY?
TYPICAL 40 YR OLD?
I mean, WHAT is a typical 40 yr old?

Oh my god. I felt SO dumb. So then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I had to add on.
"You know, my uncle had his 3rd child when he was 48! You would never have known he was a 48yr old dad of a baby. That baby is 12 now, and he's 60. He's FULL of energy."

Seriously, I should have made the cricket chirping noise myself.
Luckily I didn't have to, as the bigger kids ran over at that moment.
I'm so dumb.

You know that lesson they teach you, 'think before you speak', I think I should try it sometime.
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So, for those of you with traveling husbands (it appears there are lots of us this month!!) let me give you a word of advice.
Dave likes to woo me with wine. Heck, if I were him I would too. It always works. The problem comes when we both have 2 glasses of wine. There is just a tiny bit left so we just split the rest.
Dave has half a bottle of wine.
I have half a bottle of wine.
You see, the problem arises in the morning. Dave is 187lbs. I am 118lbs.
If we would go by weight, I really shouldn't have the same exact amount as him, right?
Here I am feeling almost hungover and he's as happy as a clam.

My advice, stop after 2 glasses. Maybe even 1 1/2.