November 7, 2001

Such a day for me.
Sad, happy, teary eyed all day.
3 yrs ago today I was in labor with Logan.
I'd like to relive a bit of that if you don't mind reading it.
My due date was November 5th. That day, I felt some what refreshed and full of energy. I remember having to go to the post office that day and running into my mother in law. She asked how I was feeling and I said GREAT! Because I knew I wasn't going to go into labor that day! My due date of all days!
But, that night I started feeling really crampy. I slept on the couch because I was so uncomfortable. I woke up at 4:30ish a.m.(November 6th) having contractions. REAL contractions! Real TIMABLE contractions that were coming every 5ish minutes.
I was in shock! We stayed home until 10:00ish when we decided we should go to the hospital. I remember getting checked at about 11:00ish and being told I was a 2-3. They told me I could walk around the halls and come back in an hour to see if I had progressed. Now, this might SOUND like a good idea, but the walk was a square. OVER and OVER again! I remember being in pain and wanting to just sit down, but I was afraid they were going to send me home. I remember leaning on the wall during the contractions. I remember Dave rubbing the small of my back. And I remember that hurting, but I didn't want to tell him!
After an hour, I remember getting checked and I was instead of a 2-3, a full 3. (OK...so the doc said she 'stretched' me to a 3...must have been a slow day!)
We were admitted! Dave didn't quite understand what exactly that meant. The nurse overheard him calling my parents and telling them we were admitted, but wasn't sure what was going to happen next. She interrupted him and told him we were not leaving the hospital without a baby! That the baby was coming TODAY! I think he finally understood, THIS was it!
So I remember feeling a little worried, scared and even though my husband was there I felt a bit alone. I remember the nurse walking us to our room. She asked all the questions, and I felt weird breathing through the contractions because she was impatiently waiting to do the paperwork. It was odd, really.
I had been in labor now for over 8 hrs, and was only at a 3cm.
She told me my doctor was on call all night, and that I could probably expect to delivery by midnight at the latest!
I remember wanting to take a bath (it was a birthing suite and we had a jaccuzi tub) and wanted some pain medication. I didn't want an epidural, so they gave me a shot of demerol and I got into the tub. Again, nurses were coming in and the resident doc and I was there, in the tub naked. Again...it was weird!
I thought I'd love the bath, but actually I couldn't find a comfortable position to lay in through the contractions. The Demoral didn't take any edge off, all it did was make me VERY sleepy in between contractions. I wanted to get out.
The doctor then broke my water to try to get things moving. Now, let me tell you. if you've never had your water break, it is SUCH a strange feeling! I had a LOT of water and when it broke it wouldn't stop GUSHING!
It was pretty gross to me, I must admit! If I moved, more gushed out. I'll never forget that feeling!
I had all these plans for my labor! Birthing ball was one of them, but right about this time the contractions were hard, coming very frequently and I felt as though I was drowning.
I couldn't find my peaceful spot, and they said just get through one contraction at a time, but when I knew I was only 3ish cm dilated, one contraction wasn't all it was going to be.
I panicked! I freaked out! I asked Dave if he would get mad if I got an epidural! I laugh at that now! I'd NEVER ask now! haha! He wasn't in the pain, I was!
We called for the ani..aneths...I will never spell it right! The doctor! haha!
It took FOREVER for him to get up to my room.
I couldn't breath, I kept begging the nurse to go get him. That was my breakdown in the whole labor.
Finally, he came, we started the procedure. Strangely, I was afraid before of having a needle go into my back, but at this moment fear was not on my mind. After it went in, I slowly felt relief. Its an amazing feeling actually! I went from panic, to slowly being so calm! It was GREAT! He was my hero!
I got an epidural after 14hrs of constant labor with contractions every 3-5 minutes.
I remember getting checked around 8ish I believe and only being a 5cm! I was so sad that I was only half way and had been laboring ALL day!
Dave and I slept a little, just a little. The nurse was watching my vitals and sitting right next to me the whole time. Finally, she called in the doctor. It appeared Logan was getting distressed. I was placed on my right side with an oxygen mask on my face. I asked if I could move after about 30 minutes and we tried to move me but instantly Logan's heartrate dropped. I went back to my side.
I started shivering. Teeth chattering shivering. I had developed a fever. 103.5 at the highest.
I had to have antibiotics in my IV, and tylenol by mouth, by IV, and a-hem...in my bottom.
They tested some of my fluid and discovered that I had chorioamniosis (I spelled that wrong too!) which is an infection in your amniotic fluid.
It was about 2:00a.m. when the doctor first told me that my chances of a c-sect were very high if my body didn't fully dialate soon. The infection was not a good thing, and neither was the fever.
I remember calling my parents. I talked to my dad. It was very comforting hearing his voice. (I've never told him that, maybe I should)
All of a sudden I remember I started feeling pain! Pain in my lower abdomen! My epidural wasn't working all over! I was scared, and we got the doctor (yes...the aneste...you know!) back up and he put it back in again. Thank GOD it worked! I was so tired, I could barely think!
I didn't see my doctor again for a long time. Apparently the woman next to me hemmoraged and had to have an emergency C-sect. But the good news was that at 3:45 am the resident checked my and I was FINALLY at almost a 10cm! yay!
I could start pushing! But, by this time I was in labor for almost 24 hrs! I hadn't eaten anything all day and I had gotten MAYBE 1 hr of sleep total. I was completely EXHAUSTED!
But, I pushed! I pushed and pushed and pushed!
I pushed for an hour. I pushed for 2 hrs. I pushed for 3 hrs. EVER freaking 5 minutes, I pushed! I pushed with all my might! I remember pretending at this point that I didn't 'feel' the contraction so I could just have a break! Finally, my nurse said, 'if you need a break, just let me know!'
Uh! I NEED a break!
After 4 hrs of pushing, my doc arrived again (did I mention I never liked her) and said I was getting close.
I kept pushing. I told her if she had to give me episomity to please not let me know. I didn't want to know at all! She then rudely told me that it was too late for that. I had already torn! THANKS doc!
Logan was facing upwards instead of downwards and she tried turning him 4 times, but each time he switched back around. That makes the pushing harder and longer (or so I am told)
4 1/2 hrs after my first push, Logan David was born at 8:14am, November 7th. He was born face up with his arm wrapped around his neck. That COULD explain all the pushing, and the 3rd degree tears I got, don't you think?
It was an amazing thing when he was born!
I was SO tired that I slumped back in my bed and looked at the ceiling in disbelief. The nurse said, "JEN! Look at your SON!" I had a BOY! I knew in my heart of hearts it was a boy, but to hear the 'its a boy'...I'll never forget it! I remember looking at him and couldn't believe that I was meeting my SON!...MY son!
They all asked right away if he had a name. We had a couple set aside, but Dave and I both said Logan at the same time. There was a new human being right there that WE created! Logan David.
They put him on my chest and I remember his head wasn't facing me! I was too afraid of breaking him that I didn't move him! I just looked at his chubby little body and his head and Dave talked to him!
They cleaned him and weighed and measured him (8lbs 13oz...21 1/2 inches)
Here's a pic right after he was cleaned up. I call this one meeting mommy because it was the first meeting experience.
http://shelleysphotography.com/v-web/gallery/albums/Soulsisters/meeting_mommy.sized.jpg
I have a million pictures I'd love to share, but here's one more. One of my favorites!
http://shelleysphotography.com/v-web/gallery/albums/Soulsisters/peanut_on_pillow.sized.jpg
OK...ONE more! Our first day home!
http://shelleysphotography.com/v-web/gallery/albums/Soulsisters/praise_Jesus.sized.jpg
From that day on my life has forever been changed.
I am a mom. A mommy.
That day seems like it was yesterday. The day I gave birth to my son. Being so pregnant today makes it even more real. Its almost as I can FEEL what I felt right before I gave birth to him.
I look at him today with such awe. How someone so tiny grew up right before my eyes into a kind caring little boy is beyond me.

At age 3, here is a bit about Logan.
He loves music. He plays our piano every day. He plays the bugle and trumpet at my parents. He loves the drums, and harmonica. He loves Dave Matthews and Phil Collins! haha! But neither of them are nearly as good as the Wiggles.
He says please and thank you and I'm sorry. He makes me proud of him every day.
He loves trucks, boats, motorcycles, busses, trains and just about anything else that goes vroom.
He's afraid of the dark, and of monsters.
His favorite food is a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and he hates pizza.
He wakes me up every morning by saying, 'boo mommy'
His smile melts my heart every time I see it.
I still cannot believe some days that I am lucky enough to have him call me 'mommy' and when he tells me out of the blue that he 'loves me very very much', I could cry.

Here's a recent picture of him.
http://shelleysphotography.com/v-web/gallery/albums/Soulsisters/pumpkinsforweb.sized.jpg
Happy Birthday my little Man!
Your mommy couldn't love you more!
I'm so proud of you as you are turning into the kind of little boy I had always hoped you would be!
May God bless us with years and years of fun together!
I love you with all of my heart!