Protection

You remember how I said that Logan has been asking hard to answer questions lately? An example: What planet is Heaven on?
Well, it seems to have gone from humorous to really hard to answer.

I once read that if a child has a family member who is dying, that if the child is under the age of 5 they don't understand fully that death is forever. But once that child is 5-7yrs old, they understand the finality of death.
I think Logan started a bit early.
I think the death of his fish really started it.

Death is on his mind lately. I know it must just be because he doesn't quite understand and wants to understand. He wants to understand all aspects of death. He wants to know if it hurts the animals when people go hunting. He wants to know if it hurts the ant that gets stepped on.
He wants to know if he were to die, where would he go and what would it feel like. He tells me through teary eyes that if he died, he would miss me. (THEE hardest thing I've had to listen to him tell me...ever)

Now, I'm a Christian, so I of course answer the question with details about heaven and what it might be like. (because I of course know, right?)
I try to change the subject as best as I can, but let him also ask questions.

The hard part is not being able to protect him from the TRUTH. The truth about something so hard. The truth about death.
Dave told me something last night that he didn't want to tell me.

Logan was talking about death and then all of a sudden he said, "But what if MOMMY died?!" and started crying. Then he went on about how sad he would be and how he would miss me. He was crying pretty hard that Dave actually had to hold him. Usually he rebounds quickly and wants to coddling.

Imagine what you might feel when you hear your little boy was crying because he was afraid you were going to die.

It's all about death lately. The police carry guns so they can shoot the bad guys and keep us safe. I TRY TRY TRY to make him understand that the police don't want to carry guns. They wish there were not 'bad guys'. (another hard thing to talk about seeing 'bad guys' don't look bad)

I'm ready to go back to the easy days where we didn't have such heavy topics on our minds.