I'm sitting here at my desk which is right outside all 3 bedrooms.
I can hear Miles heavy sleep breathing through his door.
I hear a bit of snoring left over from a cold coming from Logan's room. He hasn't napped in weeks, but he's worn out from a whole day yesterday with Grandpa.
I hear the millions of crickets chirping outside.
I hear the thoughts in my head.

Miles goes for his speech eval this afternoon. In 2 1/2 hrs to be exact.
Of course I'm anxious. I'm not worried really, but anxious to hear what the speech language pathologist has to say.
You know how you find some kind of medical information online and then you seem to run across it over and over until finally it hits you that this could be what you're looking for?
OK, so I have been guilty of making myself believe that I have had really strange illnesses before. I was POSITIVE! (Don't pretend you haven't done this)
So, of course I have come across the same bit of information over and over again while searching online for Miles speech delay symptoms. (Symptoms? Not quite the word....maybe signs?)
It all lead me to go back the last almost 20 months and really evaluate things that have been part of our life with Miles.
Is this normal? Was that normal? Blah blah blah...
So, I'm putting a lot of faith in this woman that we're going to see today.
I hope that she takes the time to really get a good evaluation.
I hope the Miles is able to show what he does on a regular basis, and what he doesn't do.
I hope that what I believe might be the case is wrong, but if it is the case, I hope that we are able to get the help that Miles needs to start talking.

We are reaching a new high when it comes to the frustration Miles is showing because of our lack of understanding him. He is beginning to get MAD.
Picture it:
Lunch time.
The boys are sitting at the table eating. The counter is full of the stuff used to make lunch.
Miles had a pbj, mozzarella cheese, peaches and tomato's (from the garden! YUM) with a bit of ranch dressing for dipping sauce.
LOGAN on the other hand is eating a turkey, tomato, cheese sandwich with cheesy broccoli soup.
I am eating cheesy broccoli soup and a veggie wrap.
LOTS of stuff on the counter.

Miles starts 'mmm'-ing while pointing at the table.
Ranch? more mmm's and pointing.
Peaches? more mmm's and pointing.
Cheese? more mmm's and angrily pointing.
Milk??? ANGRY MAD Miles grabs his plate, throws his food all over and then drops his plate on the floor spilling the rest that was on it ALL over. This begins a meltdown.
I still don't know what he wanted.

I know that it's normal for 2yr olds (ok, this can range from 1-4, can't it?) to have major meltdowns, but his is truly because we can't understand each other. Sign language is good for some things, but the poor kid just wanted more of something.

So, Miles and I are going to head to the therapy center where they will proceed to play with him for 1 hour to get an idea of where he is and where he should be.
Perhaps things aren't as bad as what I think they are.
Perhaps he'll come around soon.

I guess that with parenting comes worry at times, right?