I'm an enabler, but is it OK?

Dave and I do this nice thing for each other on the weekend. I'd like to say it's just because we like each other, but really it's all for selfish reasons.
Saturday Dave gets to sleep in, Sunday is my turn.
See, it might sound nice and all, but I'd say 75% of Sunday mornings I never fall back to sleep after Dave wakes up because Miles is standing downstairs (half flight) yelling "mom, mama, mom, mom, mom"
Then comes Logan's addition of running around, playing the piano and chasing Miles until the screams of laughter are too fun to ignore.
Our sleep in days were switched around this weekend, and Saturday was my day.
Saturday Miles slept in until 7:15. SOOOO not fair! If I had to get up, I know he would have been up at 6:15, but anyway! ;)

The "mom's" were not cute little noises. They were Cries, loud Cries, loud Cries with crocodile tears. (At least I thought that's what they sounded like)

Despite putting 2 pillows over my ears, I was fully up by 7:30.
Then came the fury.
How DARE I sleep in!

Miles was m.a.d.

Dave is in the process of finishing our 3rd level (tri-level) and my dad was coming over to help put trim up. He arrived in plenty of time to see the full Miles meltdown. Amazed at how his sweet little grandson was acting, he couldn't say anything that would stop the fury.
I must have been out of my mind to think that Miles and I would be able to go buy a bathroom vanity BY OURSELVES, but that's what I tried.
4 stops later, I came home with nothing but the urge to hand over the crabby child and hop on a plane to anywhere.
Later, my mom witnessed a full blown Miles meltdown that just about knocked her over...literally.

Here's the thing. Miles is almost 2. His temper is amazing. He cries at least 1/4 of his awake time. Everyday. Maybe more.

OK...enabler thing arises.

Logan had his pacifier full time until 13 months.
At that time he was only allowed to sleep with it.
When he woke up and we took him out of his crib, we dropped this pacifier and said, 'bye bye'.
Done.

Miles......welll......21 months and OK, he's still on the pacifier full time.
I TRY to make him leave it in the bed, but when he wants it he comes up to his room and pushes down the bumpers and pulls it out. He's no dummy!
I thought about making a pacifier pillow that has a pocket to put them in and hang it above his crib.
See, the problem is...I can't IMAGINE how bad the meltdowns would get if he didn't have his pacifier.

See, this is usually how it goes.
He gets mad at whatever makes him mad. He screams, yells, Cries, sometimes bangs his head on the wall, yells, begs me to pick him up, screams some more.
Then, after he gets tired of all of that, he decides ON HIS OWN to go look for his pacifiers (3 of them-one in the mouth and one in each hand) and calms down.
He then can sit on my lap and just chill out. It's all in his control.

I've tried introducing a bear. He sleeps with it, it's cute, but it's NO pacifier!
I've tried introducing a blanket. No luck at all.
His 'thing' is his pacifiers!

We're getting to that point where it's not really OK with me to be out in public with it, yet, I'm sure our local grocery store would encourage me to continue using it. At least in their store.

When you see a 2+ year old with a pacifier, what do you think?
Me too.

How long do I let it be his thing?
Do you think as his speech increases (and it IS!) that he'll be able to sooth himself better?
Who here had a little hellion like Miles and that child is now older? Anyone? I could really use some advice.
My mom says,
"Jen, perhaps you should talk to his doctor about his temper problems!"
What? What's he going to do mom, come over and babysit??

"I think you need to put him in daycare at least one day a week. It might really do him wonders!!"
UM, perhaps? But then again the person caring for Miles really isn't going to LOVE him. No matter how big the tantrums are, I can forget about them 2 seconds later because I LOVE HIM. They'll just think he's a brat and be mean to him!

"Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about how this affects YOU. He might want to put you on something to help you get through this stage"
Yeah, um, this stage has been since birth. He's just emotionally high strung. He's not passive, that's for sure. I don't need anti-depression meds to help me raise my child. His determination will one day be his strongest attribute, I'm sure of that. How could I make it OK to say, 'hey doc. I need medication to help me raise my child!'. No.

I know I'm going to let Miles keep having his pacifier, at least for now. He needs it. He's got emotional needs that he isn't able to control yet. This helps him. But oy, would you look at my boy in the store and think, 'he's WAAAY too old for a pacifier!'