When its your 2nd child...
The sortof bummer part of being pregnant with your second is that there is no celebration shower. (OK, that didn't come out right! Not a bummer about being PREGNANT...you know what I meant, right?)
I'm really feeling a bit sad about that.
Im not talking about everyone going and buying big presents etc...but just a CELEBRATION of this baby coming. A group of family/friends sitting around eating together, little baby outfits, talk about how life will change, advice from friend with more than one...pictures...belly rubbing...
In Logan's baby book, I have all his shower gifts listed, pictures of the shower etc.
For this baby, that page will have to sit empty, and that makes me sad to think that some day he will look back and think that no one celebrated him before birth.
And its really the truth too!
My mom and dad bought us our crib set which was really a nice suprise! I wasn't expecting that and had that on the long list of expensive things to buy. But she suprised me one day with the set. That was such a sweet suprise!!
My sister, well, that is a WHOLE other story. She has always been my 'best friend' and was a HUGE HUGE part of Logan's life. Besides Dave and I, Logan knew her and felt safest with her for all of his life. This changed in May of this year when she met her boyfriend. She has since then seen Logan maybe one time a month...maybe (vs. the previous 5+ times a week, she lives 1 mile away). She never comes to see him, watches him for us like she always did. She had planned once he turned 3 to have weekly or bi-monthly sleep overs at her house with Logan. All of that is done now because when she gets a boyfriend, she decides that there is only enough room in her life for one person. Logan got kicked to the side.
So, that means this baby won't be important enough for her to get to know him, and honestly I'm not sure I want him to get close to her like Logan did.
My few amount of friends never understood my infertility and to them, this is just another pregnancy. But to ME, this is a very special pregnancy. One that deserves to be celebrated!
One that deserves a cake! lol
My mom has health issues that would not allow her to plan or put together a shower for me, or I know she would.
My MIL is very very busy with her career and also her mother. (I'll give an update on her a little later)
Daves sister lives 4 1/2 hrs away.
Hmmm....so even if there was a chance that I was going to have a shower sometime this pregnancy, it just isn't going to happen.
I'm not sure why I'm so sad about this. Maybe because we lost an angel. Maybe because it took us over a year and a half to get pregnant. Maybe its because we wanted this baby SO bad and endured month after month of drugs that didn't work. Invasive tests that no one should know about. Over a year of having bruises on my arms from the countless blood tests. I can't tell you how many doctors I had to strip for, and the medical students that were in the room each time. The depression that came with the infertility. The isolation. I thought that I'd never be able to have my own baby ever again. The KNOWLEDGE that I have NOW with my diagnosis that there is basically no chance in hell that I'd ever get pregnant again even if we wanted to. (which we don't, so its ok...)
The knowledge that this is indeed my last pregnancy.
Doesn't anyone else think this is something worth having a party for?
This precious little man in my belly was someone that I met in my dreams at night. I prayed for him, and he's almost here.
I hope you don't think I sound ungreatful, and if you do, its ok to let me know. (unless you're a troll...we don't listen to them)
It really does sound silly to me to be upset about something so silly.
I might just have to make my own cake and have a party with Logan and Daddy.
posted by Jen at 7:56 AM
4 Comments:
I think that a party is a great idea! You could still do one. It just wouldn't be a shower. Have some people over, have them do something special, like write little notes to this baby to put in the baby book, and have kids draw pictures for the baby. Have cake, take pictures. This baby DEFINITELY deserves to be celebrated!!!
At the very least, have a cyber party, or mail in party. Send out requests that people write notes to baby, have Logan decorate a scrapbook for baby. I imagine that it would be fun for your son to look back on these things someday.
You definitely deserve a party, Girl!!
(((Hugs)))
9:43 AM
I agree with Christine, have a party!! Throw one yourself if you can (sounds like people are pretty out of touch right now, though). At least within your own little family.
A side note on your sis--I don't know her (obviously) but I used to have the same thing with my nephew (he's 13 now). I actually used to live with him and my sis (she was single and 19 when he was born, I was 16). We were very, very close. But when I moved out and met my now husband, I did become quite diconnected. This was a painful but necessary process for me toward building my own life. It was really hard to have someone else's child be almost the center of my life (which he was, I was his 2nd mom) and I never really got close to her second son. I needed to break away. It took me a long time to find some balance, which actually didn't come until I was a mom myself. Then I got to rediscover my nephews through the eyes of a mom. I hope you and your sister can find some balance as well!
-Erin
1:24 PM
Christine is spot on! Do that. Get a cake, have people over, have them write special thoughts for this baby. Your post left me wanting to be able to throw one for you.
I read such a great idea for new babies once. People write their "gift" for the baby on slip of paper. All of which can go in the baby book. They can be things like "strength of character" "a great sense of humor" "a quick, bright mind" or whatever. I thought that was so sweet.
This baby is a very, very special baby. I am sorry that those in your life aren't letting you celebrate in that. I'm sure that they, too, believe this is a special baby. I'm not sure they know how special a baby after infertility is, but they love this baby and think this baby is special. People just sometimes get so wrapped up in their own lives, they fail to stop and think about what else is important.
But, the MOST important is that this baby is special to you, to Dave and to Logan. Get a cake, and if you're the only one's writing in that baby book, so be it! You three will have plenty of love to go around for this new miracle you have been given.
Sending you much love and thoughts and prayers.
1:41 PM
Here's an idea for you. I saw it on baby story. Buy a bunch of plain onesies .. white , yellow, green, or blue whatever .. then get a bunch of the slick pen t-shirt paints and let everyone decorate their own onesie for the baby.
7:46 AM
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