quiet whisper

I've always been meaning to ask other moms this question, and finally remembered.
While at my post 'laying on the bed dying' checkup today, the receptionist was going over my address/phone etc...
She got to the employment section and said
"I see you're unemployed at the moment."



She then did not wait for a response and went right on to my husbands place of employment.

It is something I've noticed quite regularly with receptionists at office visits. A 'hush hush' this person doesn't have a job tone WHEN my children are not with me.
OK, so maybe I look young. I do, I know I do, but obviously old enough to have children.

And we all have heard the great debate on ABC lately, Mommy Wars.
I will, for the record state that I really don't care what you choose to do when your children are born. If working is right for you, great job at making the right choice. If staying home is the right answer, well again, congrats for making the right decision. My next door neighbor works full time and has 2 kids. Do I think anything different about her than I do my other neighbor who stays home full time with her 2 kids? Not really. It doesn't involve me one way or another. JUST like any other working or non working mom in America. Who Cares! Period. Make the choice that's right for your family.

OK, done.

You have to assume though, that when people come into the clinic and have unemployed that there is just a small chance that that person is a stay at home mom, wouldn't you?

Usually when i have to fill out forms and it asks for my occupation, I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put 'stay at home mom' or something like that. I don't want to write unemployed, because while I don't get a paycheck, I have a job. Dumb, I know, but validation.

So today, when she said it in a hush hush tone (with not a single soul around to hear her quiet tone btw) I wanted to say, 'yes, I stay home with my kids', but I just agreed, because she was right. Technically I am unemployed.

Then it got me thinking, why do I feel the need for validation? And especially from someone behind a desk that I'll never see again who won't remember me from the next person in line?

So I'm wondering, if you are/were a stay at home parent, do/did you feel the need for validation?
Honestly, I think it's in my own head. I see other successful working women who are always dressed to the T, and for some reason I tell myself they are smarter/more successful than I. BUT, I'm the one who chose this spot myself. This was the job I chose, even without pay. I am successful in my decision. I'm doing what I personally think is the best job (FOR ME, maybe not you) and I'm really proud to be here.

So sad really, mommy wars.
I mean, shouldn't we all be on the same side? And when it comes down to it, it isn't about the number of hours you are able to spend with your child a day, it's about what kind of person you will be giving the world some day.