Ah, don't ya love it...

Recently a new sandwich store opened in Madison.
If you have yet to visit one of these stores and you live in the few states that have them, you MUST go!
I can't get enough of them!
I could eat sandwiches/subs/wraps every day of my life.

So, I went for my 2nd time in a week last night.
After a long day, I got to escape for 1 1/2 hrs to grab a yummy sandwich and peruse the sales at Old Navy. (Anyone else notice the LOW LOW quality lately...I'm thinking I'm almost done there)
As I waited patiently for my sandwich to come out of the toaster, the cute guy working there (with the totally sexy accent) struck up a conversation with me.
"You seem happy! Good day?"
"Well, sort of...you?"
"Are you just leaving work, or are you on your way to work?"
"Um....well, just leaving sort of"
"Off for some retail therapy? What are you shopping for?"
"Oh, nothing, just wandering I guess"
"Ah, no wonder you're so happy! I wish I was leaving (with a wink), where do you work"

Now, I don't know if he was flirting, as I'm completely oblivious to that, you know, since I've been with my husband for 11 years, but let's just say it was strange that this man was striking up a conversation asking about where I work, where I was going etc....and for some strange reason I felt really weird about saying that I "work" by staying home with my 2 kids. See my minivan out there? ;)
But I had no choice, and I'm a baad baad lire. Even if I wanted to pretend I worked some place fun, he would probably know someone who worked there!

"Well, I actually stay home with my kids."
"OH, really! Wow!"
"Yep......"
"Well, that's cool!"

And then the conversation slowly turned back to my sandwich and my condiments.
Dave had a good laugh over the conversation.
"I wonder how hard they laughed when you backed out in your minivan!"

Scream

OK, I have a MAJOR issue that I'll take any advice from anyone who has any.
Miles has turned into a SCREAMER!
You have no clue how frustrating this is right now.
When he 'argues' with Logan, he screams.
When I tell him he can't have any fruit snacks, he screams.
When he wants to go outside, but I'm making dinner, he screams.

LOUD.

Now, I know you can't tell just what kind of family we have our what kind of parents we are but let me just state right now, this is NOT a screaming family.
Logan didn't scream, I don't scream and of course Dave doesn't scream.
We rarely raise our voices unless we have to yell OVER the yelling from Logan and screaming from Miles.

I.don't.know.what.to.do.

This kid has guts and he will not back down.

We've started time outs.
What does he do on the time out? SCREAMS!
Fine, scream away as long as you stay in that place, right?
But honestly, I HATE THE SCREAMING!
Lately I have a headache every day, and I'm really dreading the morning because as happy and cute as he is first thing in the morning, as soon as he asks for fruit snacks, which he does EVERY morning and EVERY morning I say no, he screams.
My nerves are frazzled.

It's like I'm not in charge because I know this isn't something I can change.
I can't MAKE him not scream, right?
I can put him in time outs when he starts screaming, but it just encourages MORE screaming.

So, here's where I stand today.
He screams, he sits on the rug by the door. I can't do a time out elsewhere because he won't stay. Actually if he's REALLLLLY screaming for a long time I'll put him in his crib, but he's almost figured out climbing out and I dont' want that.
I'm not just caving.
I'm being the parent.
But I'm seriously thinking that I'm losing the battle.

HELP!

Rewind button

I can't remember which blog pointed this song and it's words out to me, but whoever you are, I listened and understood.

Have you heard that song by Anna Nalick:

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,Oh breathe, just breathe

Yesterday, in my insane list of things to do we were on our way to gymnastics class. I feel lately that we are too busy for our own good. We've got play dates and preschool and lessons and then I have 2 part time businesses and meetings and Dave's got a plate full of stuff to do as well.
I feel like all we do is rush through our day to get everything done.
My house is in the biggest shambles that it has ever been right now, and in 10 minutes I'm off to be the preschool helper for the day. I'd love to stay home and WORK. But, saying that, I'm also glad to go.

So, like I was saying, we were on our way to gymnastics yesterday and Logan was talking a mile a minute. He was filling me in on his dreams and his likes and dislikes and how he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and he just kept going and going and Miles would crack in every once and awhile mimicking what Logan just said and then this song came on. (whoa....run on sentence maybe?)

And all I could hear was the lyrics and see my kids in the rear view mirror and instantly the world just slowed down.
My baby is 5 1/2 just about.
My BABY is over 2.
Logan is just the love of my life right now. He obviously LOVES me and he is sweet and kind and has a great imagination and shares everything with me and trusts me and sometimes I truly don't feel worthy of his love. He's so intense with his love and his feelings and I'm very blessed. With the big 6 month countdown to a lifetime of school, I cherish this time right now. It won't be this way for much longer. I mean, it will, but then again, he's going to have so many of his own experiences that I won't be a part of. Sometimes I just look at him, I memorize his face, his eyes, his sweet still somewhat baby-ish features that are quickly fading away and I want to freeze time. I want him to want to hug me again, I want him to lay in my arms for a nice rock again. It's never going to happen.

Which brings me to Miles. Miles, well, he's a full fledged 2 year old. He loves the words "no" "mine" "HEY!" (He says that when he's mad at me!) He's naughty and strong willed and sometimes I want to pull my hair out! Then he comes up and says "Piss mom" (Kiss...haha) or he'll just run up and quick hug me and then jot off again to the fun.
He doesn't NEED me like Logan did and does. In gymnastics class he does his thing. He doesn't want to hold my hand or dance with me like the other kids do. He likes to do his thing, be independent and quickly fled the baby stage. He stopped sitting in a booster seat at about 18 months because he wanted to be like Logan. He quit sippy cups around 1 or so because "I do it!"...well, OK! He's growing up fast. Yet, he still needs his mom sometimes.
But I know that he he won't NEED my for as long as Logan needed me.

This is it! This is the point in life that is just so much fun. Hard, YES! But life is giving me such huge rewards with every 'piss' and I love you.
I really do wish I could find that rewind button and go back 6 months, 2 years, 3 years. I want to hold Logan again, I want to feed Miles one last bottle.
But, such is life.
It keeps going fast, then faster.

Kindergarten

Last week, we had Kindergarten orientation.
A group of 25 kids spent an hour with all 5 kindergarten teachers while the parents hung out in the library.
There were all sorts of parents, and you could tell them apart.
There were those who were your typical first time parents sending their child, full of excitement and chatter. They were asking all sorts of questions, and paying full attention.
They were totally excited about things like joining the PTO and volunteering in the classroom.

Then there were those sending their last child. They had already done this 3 times before, they don't need to know how many days a week their child is going to have gym or music or health class because they already know. Joining the PTO is not something they looked all that excited about because FINALLY they are going to have a little peace during the day. :)

Dave and I were in the middle. Sure, we're new parents in the school district, but we're also not going to over smother Logan and participate in every last thing. With having Miles at home, I won't be one of the parents who are able to come in the classroom once a week to volunteer. Not that I think I would go every week anyway. Once a month, that's a good thing. It's enough that your child looks forward to it, but doesn't expect it every week. It's still special.
I do think I'll volunteer for the PTO, but only because two of my good friends are on the board.

It's a little weird walking in a school when your child isn't there yet, but he's a few inches taller than a lot of the kids walking around. He walks in and the excitement is all over his face. He stands taller, walks ahead of us, and doesn't dream of holding my hand.
He walked right up to the teacher, introduced himself and asked if he was allowed to color anything he'd like to at the art station they were working at.
There was no looking back. He wasn't sad when Dave and I left for our meeting, and barely had enough time to say goodbye. (In fact, I don't think he did)
But he DID tell me how much he loved me in the car on the way home.

The idea that next year it will be just me and Miles is a little....hmmm....dare I say odd?
I mean, I'm REALLY excited about sending Logan to school. He was ready last year, and I KNOW he's ready this year. But the kids have gotten used to co-playing all day. Granted, many times it ends in screaming and yelling, but they still play together most of the day.
Now, for 3 years it will be just the two of us.
It will definitely take some adjusting.
What on earth will we DO for 3 years? :)
I think we'll take plenty of day trips. It's quite exciting to think about, actually. Just a little scary as well.

Those of you who blog, you know how you make time to blog.
You might not really have the time, but you make it anyway.
It's like anything really, take exercise.
When you are in a routine, exercise just becomes part of it.
You don't REALLY have the time, but you make it.

But then you fall off the wagon.
Life starts getting busy and you all of a sudden don't have time again to exercise, even though you can make it.

So, let's see.
I had surgery last month and told myself that I was taking a week off of blogging.
But then what happened is that the week turned into 10 days.
I had full intentions of blogging, I just didn't have time.
Then, 10 days turned into a month out of the blue.

6 months ago, I would have never thought I would go a month without blogging. It was my vice.
But I realized after this past month that I'm really not as addicted as I thought I was.
I still read all of your blogs, although I'm the worlds worst poster..sorry about that.
I just didn't make the time to update my own.

But, I'm alive and well and I am back on the blogging bandwagon.
I don't think I'll ever go a month without blogging again because blogging is important to me.
If I choose to go a month without blogging again, I think I'll just decide to STOP blogging.
But, that is not the plan.
I'm back!
Lots of fun interested stuff has happened in the past month!
Feel free to stick around, or not if you so choose.