The everyday life of a stay at home mom just trying to stay sane.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

How much did you lie?

Admit it, we all lied about our weight on our Driver's license!
At least I know I did!
I lied by 5 lbs. I figured, what's 5 lbs?
It makes me feel better when I saw that number, even though I know it was a lie.
And heck, you know that cute skinny little 17 yr old at target checks out your weight when she verify's your signature, right? (ok, maybe not...)

But NOW I'm LESS than my weight on my drivers license! YAHOO!
3 lbs lighter.
Darn WI laws have you keep your current license for 10 yrs! Imagine what you looked like 10 yrs ago. I look NOTHING like I did then.
How tempted I am to go get a new license and lie by another 5 lbs!

I'm a geek!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Nerd glasses on and ready to research

OK, so I don't really think they are nerd glasses.
I wear them all the time. Oh, wait?! Maybe I am a nerd!
Remember way back when I said we were starting our own business.
Yes, we still are.
It went on a little hiatus. Is that how you spell that word.

Life got busy, things got in the way.
Really, what got in the way was the thought of actually trying to figure out what forms the damn government wants us to fill out so that we do it correctly and don't wind up oweing Uncle Sam all our profits. (gosh, I hope we make profits!)
But, today I made a decision.
I'm going for it!
Even if I have to do it alone!
I can't WAIT!

So, my friends, get ready for some true to life testaments of starting a small (minute, teeny-tiny, speck of dust) business in the new future.
It's a baby business, baby 'fashion' to be exact.
All the cool kids will wear them. Are YOU'REkids cool?
Hey, you remember what it was like to be the UNcool ones! Trust me, I saw your Way Back Wednesday pictures. You need help in making YOUR child cool! ;)

SO excited!
*Hey, anyone a graphic designer wanting to help out a mom who has to pay the freaking co-pay from the NOT OUR FAULT at all accident. I'm looking for something REALLY easy!*
My little bugger is sick.
He had 'shoot across the room, but first shoot it down my moms shirt, hair, face, all the way to her toes' vomit. The next day, funky FUNKY diapers. The next day, runny runny nose, and crying EVERY time he'd be put down. Including putting in the crib. No sleep.
Dave took him to our doctor this morning *whom I must come up with a nickname for...Dr. GoodAssBedsideManner just seems too long.
He said there is a virus going around with all the same symptoms. He took a swab culture of his very raw throat and told Dave to wait for 5 minutes for the lab.
He returned in 1 minute telling Dave the lab person had already left, so he was going to 'take this to urgent care on my way home so they can check it'
What? Are you kidding?
No call back though, so I'm guessing it was negative.
Oh, the chick who caused the accident.
Avoiding us.
We called asking her what her plan was for paying for our repairs.
We said the insurance guy said that she WOULD be paying for each and every dime, some choose to pay upfront and others need to have the wages garnished if they can't make payments. I told her we needed to know what we were looking at so we could budget. She told me she was at work and asked if she could call back on her break...yesterday. I called again today, knowing she wouldn't answer. Still no call. I have this feeling we're going to have to take her to court. Will our insurance take her to court? Do you think we're going to get the $500 back?

Friday, August 26, 2005

You know, just in case you were wondering...

if you don't have car's probably not a good idea to pull out in front of my husband, or any car for that matter.
It's probably not a good idea to be driving at all.
It's really not nice to the driver, my HUSBAND, to know that we now have to go carless while his car is being fixed.
Yes, we COULD get a rental, but we'd have to pay for it seeing you don't have insurance.
Oh, and the $500 deductible that we have to pay that we WOULDN'T have to pay if you'd have had insurance really isn't something we just have on hand for idiots like you to come around.
Oh, and I know we'll get it back, even if your wages have to be garnished, but you see, it would have been MUCH easier for YOU to have just had insurance. We're not too keen on waiting for however long it takes for that.
I'm sorry you got a ticket AND lost your license. REALLY, I am. You seem like a nice enough young person just starting out in life.
I'm sorry that the damage so far is exceeding in $4000 that YOU'LL have to pay back to our insurance agency.
I have a feeling though, that the already SCREWED feeling my husband and I get will get worse.
I have that feeling.
So, from me, the stay at home mom with little to no income, I thank you for taking $500 out of our pocket right now. I'm sure our children thank you too. You know, seeing we have only ONE income. 2 CHILDREN. $500 is a lot.
I hope when all is done, you go out an get insurance on your piece of crap car.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

It's a good news/bad news kind of post

We all love good news first!

Logan has NO optical swelling! Yay! His vision has gotten slightly worse than last year, but no glasses yet. I figure the poor kid is in for glasses eventually anyway.
All his extended family wears them except for his daddy and his aunt.
Little brag. My boy has known every letter in the alphabet by 15 months. Each year they say, "oh, he's probably not ready to do the letter chart, right?" Um...yes, he can, and he did last year too! *clap clap clap*

The drops were hard, but he was a trooper!

My appt was interesting.
At first the doctor was your typical big headed, 'I know everything' kind of doctor.
When he started to ask questions and REALLY get into my report, his mood changed like night and day.
We took more labs. They still came back abnormal.
I have to go back next week to do some more labs to check for Factor deficiencies.
Seeing this all regards my body's ablility to clot when injured, questions are being asked about the surgery I have scheduled for Sept 9th.
What, if any, precautions should be done before hand.

Idea's of a possible diagnosis were brought up, and the thought of it is really unappealing to me.

My regular doctor, the one who just wanted to put my on BCP's and call it a day called me yesterday. This is like the 7th or 8th time he's called me. I can't stay mad at him because I DO genuinely think he cares about my health. He said he saw the new labs and wanted to call and see what the doctors were doing, if I had anything he could help me with, etc...just to check up with me.
Then, he did something that once again proved himself to me.
He apologized.
He said, "I'm really sorry that this has all taken so long to finally get you to the specialists you need to see."
I took it as, I'M sorry I took so long to SEND you there.

Yep, I'm glad he's my (and Miles') doctor. His bedside manner is amazing.

So, yeah, I'm a bit blah about everything really. It's just...I just want to be NORMAL again.
miscarriage, Infertility, Pregnancy, HELLP, post possible retained placenta and bleeding problems. Damn! I just want to STOP going to the doctor!
I just want to stop getting poked and prodded. I want to stop telling my story to different doctors and nurses. I want to stop seeing that look of, 'oooh...this is interesting! Let me ask more questions'
I want to just go ON now.

Monday, August 22, 2005

In the past year+mean Sam

I added my counter exactly one year ago.
I watched the number grow and to my disbelief I see it now over 33,400.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There is a situation brewing. Let's see if you can understand my story.
A certain someone...let's try to do this without anyone in my real life knowing who I am talking about if they were to somehow stumble across this blog...
Someone who I see on a semi-regular basis.
This is not a relative. Let's call this non gender person Sam.
Sam has children.
The children play with Logan.
Sam disciplines my child.
All the time.
In a not so nice way.

2 children, playing happily. Logan does something by accident...let's say, sits down by the other child and accidentally steps on her fingers. Obviously an accident.
I of course try to give the child a little loving and ask if he's OK. I tell MY child to apologize for the ACCIDENT and give the child a hug to make him feel better.
Sam is making a huge deal and over playing the whole incident making the other child cry more.(insert, 'want a boo-boo sticker' I'm gagging!)
When Logan approaches this other child and apologizes and trys to give a hug, the child pushes him away yelling and screaming at him. My child then backs off and looks almost afraid.
SAM goes on to a NOT so nice tone, "LOGAN! you can OFFER a hug but if they don't want one DON'T GIVE HIM ONE!" and makes MY son feel like crap for a freaking ACCIDENT.
This happens a lot.
I don't know how to handle it.
It makes me angry when Sam disciplines my child when I'm standing there.
I need a good comeback. NOT rude. I'm not rude (in person!) and I don't want to start an argument. I want Sam to understand that I am perfectly capable of realizing when my child does something intentionally and unintentionally. I am perfectly capable of making my child realize that even if something happens by mistake that you still must apologize for it.
What I'd REALLY like to say is, "Sam! Shut the hell up! Who calls it a 'boo-boo sticker' anyway! Is there blood? Is it even RED? Give your child a hug and kiss and tell him that he'll be fine and let's stop the drama! And who are YOU to tell MY child off? In any matter! You're mean!" And I will continue the childish anticts by sticking my tongue out at him. Really! Mean Sam. Sam is mean. I don't like Sam.
Imagine how I will be when Logan starts school and gets picked on!!
Tomorrow is the big hematology appointment. Blood doctors. I hate the thought. Who decides they want to be a BLOOD doctor anyway?
When I was at my pre-op appt for my D&C, my nurse wanted to make sure we knew my PT/PTT levels (blood clotting...yes, pretty major info for surgery) and said, "I'm sure you'll be giving blood at your appt". Oh...yeah, probably. ugh.
Tomorrow is also another big day. Logan's eye appt. It's not a regular eye appt either. It's where they dilate his eyes and somehow see if there is any swelling in his retina due to his cyst growth. yep, it's cyst time. It seems like it was just yesterday when this crunch time came.
Eye appt is in August, MRI in October.
I hate 'cyst time'. You second guess EVERYTHING.
He hates the drops. He crys. He has to be held down. It hurts him. It hurts my heart. Miles will be joining us too, so I can't hold him myself.
And I couldn't NOT share this picture...
See the tongue sticking out a bit!
One sweet looking babe I have, no? ;)

Friday, August 19, 2005

ok. so that didn't work out as planned

I did 3 spain posts and tried to put them in backwards order. Didn't work.
Go down to Spain, then read spain 2 and THEN Spain 3.

Spain 3

The tomb of Christopher Columbus. It's not really known if he is in there, but of course all the people of Spain believe he is.

Inside the Alhambra

This was a poor farmer. I felt like a ass taking his picture, and I'm sure it was VERY rude. I just had to do it though. I wasn't the only one taking one, which made me feel even WORSE. Even to this day I feel bad. This man was working his butt off and we take a picture because he had an ox and old ancient equiptment?

The Cathedral in Sevilla-amazing! I'm sure you'll go there.

This is one of the floats they carry in the Semana Santa. It is over 300 yrs old!

Another Verja de la frontera picture. Lots of little paths to follow. Beautiful views.

So there is no rhyme or reason, and I have plenty more pictures, but this is what was just on my computer. Let me know what questions you have!

Spain 2

Postcard picture from Toledo. Literally. You can either walk the long walk or go to a side store and buy the same picture on a postcard. We felt pride in taking our own (and still bought the postcard!)

OK, funny story...we went to the town you take to catch the ferry to Morocco, I can't remember the name of the town. It was a surf town. Anyway, I wound up sending this man to Jail! oy! We parked on the side of the road and this man approaches us and we somehow understand that he wants us to pay him money to watch over our car or else he will do something to it. We say no, and he pretends he is going to break off our side mirror. We look down the road and see all the mirrors broken and key marks. Fuck! I think! I'm pregnant, don't speak the language, it's getting dark...FUCK!
Dave says 'screw it' and starts to walk away. We then realize we have stuff in our card (backpacks etc...) and we go back and give him some coins and hope he'll be on his merry way! So, 2 blocks down are some other American's with the Spanish police. The police are looking at the damage to the car, and stupid me tells them that it was that man in'azul pantelones'? "Que?" "Como?" FUCK FUCK!!
He's watching me talk to the police and then the police ask us to get IN THE POLICE CAR and they drive us to the station. We give our statement and the man spaks only little english. They then just send us on our way! NO WAY! I made them drive us back to our hotel and we left the town! I was such a wimp, but we were staying in a sketchy part of town and I didn't feel good about it at all! SO, this is where we went! Veyre de la frontera. HIGHLY recommend for some real LOCAL's. It was beautiful!

Of course, while in Granada (or sevilla) you must see some Flamenco dancers.
Expensive? Yes, but you must.

We were there during the religious festival, Semana Santa. This is one of the MANY parades.

Oops! This is Toledo also. The gate to the city.


Meet Simone.

Simone just found out she is pregnant a few weeks ago.
Simone is planning a trip to SPAIN very soon!
This is funny to me, because WE did the SAME trip when I was 10 weeks pregnant with Logan.

I told Simone that I'd post a few pictures of our goes! :)
I'm SO bad at remembering where exactly pictures were taken, so ask away and I'll ask Dave for you!

The small palm trees looked like big pineapples! ;)

The bridge you walk under to get to The Alhambra

Rhonda-WARNING-the drive TO Rhonda SUCKS! I had to throw up 5 times on the way and 2 in the parking ramp! It is curve after curve and there is no mercy. We found a little pasta place there in some street so I could have some garlic. I heard it helps carsickness, and it REALLY helped!

An Aqueduct-can't remember where! I'll ask Dave is you'd like!

This town is called Maro I believe. We didn't stop, we were driving by.
Oh, and funny thing is if you get a rental (which I'm sure you will) you'll get a tiny little stick (if you're cheap like us) and they have to work SO hard on the highways etc....oh, and they are all round-a-bouts! Look it up. It's fun to drive there!

OK, apparently you can only do 5 pictures at a time on this new photo thing.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

We're growing gorilla's!

Logan had the big responsibility of 'fish sitting' our neighbor's beta fish last week while they went on vacation.
As a 'thank you' the little boy bought Logan a Sea Monkey kit.
Logan was THRILLED at the thought of growing Gorilla's in his house, so you can imagine his disappointment when he saw the teeny tiny things floating in the tank this morning.

Ahhh...Sea Monkeys.
I remember them from my youth! Don't you?
Dave has never heard of them!
Anyway, it is quite amusing really to be starting this life. They are alive in there right now.
I wonder what will happen.
What happens when the little tiny pouch is out of food?
Can you go to the store to buy sea monkey food?
Do I REALLY want to start this?
I'm a bit grossed out when I see what they really WILL look like full grown (1/2-3/4inch)
But, that is our family experiment for the week.
We're growing gorilla's!
Miles is 100% crawling now. All fours, arms and legs going!
Let the FUN begin!!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Just a little piece left behind

For the last few months or more probably I have had spotting and horrible cramping on an almost daily basis.
My doctor did bloodwork and when my hormones came back normal, he was content with putting me on BCP's and calling it a day.
I on the other hand wanted to know WHY I was bleeding.
I made an appt with a different doctor who immediately scheduled an ultrasound.
This ultrasound was today, and I had an appt with the doctor immediately after.
I found out that my uterine lining is too thick.
What this doctor believes is that a piece of my placenta was left behind after delivery.
7 1/2 months ago.
So, in a few weeks I go in for a hysteroscopy (anyone had one?) and a D&C to get out whatever is in there.
She said it is most likely placenta. If not, it could be polyps or fibroids. She said if I were older, she'd be more concerned about cancer, but seeing I had a clear pap 6 months ago, she's not too concerned with that. Thanks for even mentioning it, right?
Along with the spotting, when my actual PERIOD comes, my cramps are so bad that I usually spend the first day in complete agony. I'm not exaggerating either. Almost to the point where I canNOT get out of bed.
She feels that seeing we are doing the hysteroscopy, and seeing we are absolutely sure we are done having children that a endometrial ablation would be a good choice.
wee bit nervous of the actual procedures.
Of course I'll be under complete sedation, and apparently recover time is quick and there is a chance I will not get periods anymore. Who wouldn't want that, right? If I do, they will most likely be light. No more flooding.
Being ONLY 28 (how's that for positive thinking!) and having to have my period for MANY years to come, I think that sounds like a plan!
The date is set for September 9th.
So, apparently the HELLP was not enough, I have to go and have PLACENTA left over!
Don't ya think they would have realized that??

Monday, August 15, 2005

Please take a minute

I got this site over at Stephanie's blog, but I wanted to post it here too.
There is a chance that there will be a national pregnancy and infant loss day.
October 15th, I believe.
There is a petition they are signing that is going to be presented to President Bush.
Let's help get this a national day of remembrance.
Please, even if you haven't lost a pregnancy or infant, you know me. Even if you don't know me, you are reading me right now.
Help me to help remember my baby and all of the babies that my friends and women all over the world have lost.
It takes 1 minute.
The petition

The main thing I learned from this weekend

is that even though you are with your old college friends and you FEEL like you're 18 canNOT drink like you're 18 and survive like you did in the good old days!

What an AWESOME weekend I had!

We got out a bit later than we had hoped. Dave still doesn't understand that it takes longer getting 2 kids ready and out than it does us.
But, after the first 15 minutes of driving with me crying on and off, we were set for some fun!
Meeting up with everyone was great! Wearing the EXACT same dress as my old roommate, not so much! She's one of my best friends, but no kids and SUPER skinny and she definitely looked better in it than I did! Oh well!

We hit the bar before the reception and then parked our car and called a cab to the reception. Seeing we had the minivan (so cool we are, aren't we?) We lugged around 2 other couples and we all left our camera's in the van. I'm so bummed about that!

Then, my friends, the drinking began!
At first, I was smart! One glass of alcohol, one glass of water. Yeah, I did that actually all through dinner and the first dance etc....but then I said screw it!
Dave had said 'screw it' the minute we walked into the bar, so he was pretty well on his way.
My old roommate's husband is almost exacltly Dave, which is so funny, so they get along SO good and sat and talked and drank ALLLLL night!

We danced the night away, and I have 2 honking blisters to show for it!
You KNOW you're getting old when the dance floor was packed with drunk almost 30yr olds all excited to be dancing to BON JOVI!
(oh, you're half way there! OOOOH OOH! ---come on now, you know you love that song!)

I can't even explain how fun it was to party like we were teenagers again! So many good memories came back! Now, instead of me and Rachel and our 'boys', it's everyone's wives and Rachel and my husband. We ALL get along SO well!

Then we didn't get back...I mean, to sleep ;) until 2:30am.
What wakes me up at 6:30am? guessed it...PUKING his guts out!
finally, I had to get out and went to enjoy my breakfast and the B&B. (store bought muffins and a fruit cup. Where were the eggs and toast and hashbrowns???)
Dave was finally able to at least get UP out of bed at 9:30 and we were on our way. I had to drive while he was out in the back of the van.
On the freaking highway, he's hanging out puking. Now if I were smart I'd have taken a picture for you, but I'm betting you're glad I didn't, right?

It was quite the boring drive home as Dave slept the ENTIRE way!
But he survived, I survived (on 4 hrs DRUNK sleep. Thats like nothing at all, you know?)

I had a WONDERFUL weekend! How about you all?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Adult interaction?

You got it!
Dave and I are going away on Saturday for an ENTIRE day/night away from our sweet precious little angels who I swear I don't need a second away from...WHAT? I swear!

We are packing up early Saturday and driving to this beautiful town where I once was a student dreaming of becoming a teacher.

We are going to eat at our FAVORITE sandwich shop, the Acoustic Cafe
Anyone ever been to one of those? If you are ever passing by, you must! Not good for your waistline, but we don't care about that now, do we?

We are procrastinators and waited too long to book a hotel, so they were all booked up. This was a slight problem until I found a beautiful B&B that had an open room! So, we actually get to sleep in a comfortable bed, no slamming doors in the middle of the night, and get a big wonderful breakfast out on the porch. Can you feel the excitement!

Then, I get to hang out with the best friends in the world. Do you guys have the group of friends that you knew right away you would be friends for life? That is this group of friends. I only was at this college for 1 yr and 1 trimester (Melissa, really! It was a trimester school!) and we all lived in the same dorm. We ate, slept, partied TOO hard and instantly loved each other. It's weird because they are mostly guys. In fact, there is only one other girl in our college group.
Here is a picture of some of them.

The blond in the black dress used to be my college roommate.
This is at my friends wedding. Have you ever been to an Indian reception. Amazingly beautiful! ooh! Miles was in my belly there! heehee! Only 4 or 5 weeks pregnant!

Anyway, not being pregnant, and not having my CHILDREN with me will result in drinking way too much alcohol, dancing way too much that I'm sure my feet will ache in the morning, and having the time of my life.
Add that with great food, comfy bed, great breakfast.
I'm SO excited!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Ok you 'old' people

I didn't mean to imply that YOU were old! But I must admit Carrie, I laughed so hard at the '30 something nursing home'!

It's just silly that I feel old. And it's the same reason that will make me feel YOUNG in about 10 yrs.

You see, we had Logan at 23, Miles at 27. All of you people in your 30's who didn't start having children until then got to LIVE a little before children.
We got married and 5 months later found I was pregnant.
23 people!
If you waited until your 30's to have children, think about what you were doing at 23. Hanging out with your old college friends, hanging out at the bar or going out to eat at nice restaurants. (OK, so I was lame at 22. You probably did cooler things then I did!)
I was changing diapers and eating take out pizza.
And LOVING it! I swear! I truly was ready to be a mom.
I didn't feel like I missed out on anything at that time.
And I know I really DIDN'T miss out on anything!
The reason THIS birthday has been the hardest for me I really think is because my life is finalized now. I have my 2 children. There will be no more pregnancies for me. I will sit back and watch my 2 boys grow. And I know they will grow fast.
It's the 'OK, this is my life. It will always be this now you may just grow old' stupid thinking.
Soon Logan will be 8 and Miles will be 4...(and I'll be 32)
Then, Logan will be 13 and Miles will be 9...(and I'll be 37)
And THAT my friends is when I bet that I'm going to feel YOUNG! haha!
Don't even get me started on when Logan is 20 and Miles is 16 (and I am 43)
So, in 9 yrs (because we all know I'll still be blogging in 9 yrs, right?) when I am breaking out the party hats and thinking how GREAT it is that I am ONLY 37, you all remind me how silly I was back at 28.

You know what? I'm not feeling so old anymore after all!
I should have just written this post YESTERDAY!!

Speaking of my birthday.
I had about a week of fun mini celebrations:

First, I got my ears pierced (well, 2 weeks ago, but still!)I scrapped 12 hrs on Saturday
I had a stamping club day on Monday night.
Yesterday, I got a haircut, new highlights and a cute new shawl and shoes to match a dress I'm wearing this weekend for the wedding.
We also went out to DINNER! JUST ME AND DAVE! (where the waitress was kind enough to spill my ENTIRE cup of chipotle ranch dressing all over me. hair, shirt, pants...nice, huh?)

I had a wonderful day. (And pretty good coffee to wallow in yesterday morning)

So, all you wonderful friends. I don't think YOU are old! Hell, I've met Carrie and if any of you are like her, she is WAY more 'hip' then I ever was or probably ever WILL be! 30's must be pretty fun! I'm on my way! :)

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Happy...sniff sniff....Birthday....

to meeee.....*how did I ever get this old?*

Happy (brushing the tears from my eyes) birthday TO me *28 is so close to 30!!*

Happy BIRTHDAY to meeeee *30 is so close to 60 and then 70 and then 90*

Happy Birthday to me...*off to wallow in my morning coffee*

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Let us talk...plastic surgery

First though, I think Mr. Miles is just trying to get to me.
Today, I was gone from 7:45am-8:15pm (insert the singing angels praising the Lord for such an awesome break)
I did 23 PAGES in my scrapbook!
I had a glorious day, and reveled in all things scrapworthy (although I of course didn't win ANY door prizes...the story of my life. I truely think that you are either lucky in that aspect or not. I've NEVER been lucky having my name drawn out of a little bucket, you?)
I left, and realized I forgot the pictures. I came back and guess who started crying as I walked past? You got it. Dave said he barely cried the rest of the day.
Do I take this as he LOVES me so, or dislikes me so?
I think I'll take the first.
The GOOD news is that I'll be all energized to spend the day with him tomorrow! :):)
Before the plastic surgery, I must point out the post that made me laugh so hard that I had to call Dave in the room.
Read it!
Dad Gone Mad

Now, I'm assuming most, if not all of my blogger friends are women. If not, the men would be a great imput in this conversation.
(yes my friends, this is a post that I'm not allowing you to lurk on. Speak up! Tell me your thoughts!!)
GOD do I want some things in my body restored.
That's a good way of looking at it, right?
I mean, it once was, I want it back!
I want a flat belly. I want perky boobs.
Is that too much to ask for?
I'm only 27 (for 4 more days...not willing to say 28 until I HAVE to!)
I'm done having children.
I want to LOOK like a late 20 something.

Dave always tells me I can have a boob job some day if I want it. I used to be offended with that until I had Miles and realized that any and all boob that I once had has LEFT the building folks. Gone, poof, left with a little sag to remind me of what once was.
If YOU had the chance, and money wasn't the option (which isn't the case here, I'm dreaming of a future when I CAN do this) WOULD you?
Would you go into surgery JUST for bigger perky boobs? (for the record, I don't want big boobs. I'm a small person. I'm only 5'3 and about 127lbs. I want boobs...period)
Would you get your stomach back to the point where it looked before pregnancy?

And come on, BE honest! Don't give me that 'it's for a good reason, they're my battle scars' crap!
If I gave you $10,000 to get new boobs and a flat belly, WOULD YOU?????

Men, if there are any...
NO hallmark answer either.
If your wives (or significant others) had the opportunity to exchange the post partum body for a few upgrades, what would you think about that.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Separation anxiety (aka freakout)

Sitting here in absolute silence.
Silence so strong that the clicking of the keys seems loud.
I rarely ever get this kind of silence.
Kids are in bed.
Dave went out on the boat all afternoon.
I'm here with a just opened beer enjoying the silence.
My HUGE bag is packed for the best birthday gift of all, 12 hours of uninterrupted scrapbooking tomorrow.
8am-8pm at my local scrap store.
I signed up the minute I saw the announcement.
It seems rather fitting that my day BEFORE the entire day off seemed to be harder than normal.
Well, we all know that Miles has chosen the most difficult path for almost everything so far in life. Why did it surprise me that it hasn't changed by now.
Yep, we went though a great few weeks.
He was happy! Smiling even! Sleeping too!
That all has reverted back to 'Miles, the grump'.
It's not all that much an issue in MOST circumstances. I love my baby. I understand that he is a bit more difficult than most.
I'm getting to the point...almost...that if I know he is fine, fed, changed, not tired, that I can listen to his cries, sing to him, (sing naughty words TO him ;)
and if he doesn't stop, well...we're OK with that too!
But o.m.g. people!
You know how before you had children, or maybe even NOW for some of you, you would see a baby and instantly think, "I hope MY baby isn't like that baby!" because the baby is crying or yelling or just overall unhappy every time you see him/her?
THAT is MY baby!
He's just an overall UNhappy baby!
People talk to him, smile at him, google at him.
He stares.
He stares and then the big pouty lip comes out.
People think it's cute!
"awww!" they say, thinking it's sweet, you know, that LIP?
Then, the pouty lip turns into squinty eyes and then the roar begins.
Then, he's swatting me in the face, pulling my hair, grabbing my earrings (did I tell you I got my ears pierced a week ago!) and the 'cuteness' is gone and the person who started the whole mess is gone leaving me with the trainwreck.
At my mom's today, it was the worst it's been.
I could not leave his side, or should I say, he could not leave my hip.
I set him down and my mom went down to play with him.
Screaming, crying, yelling, alligator tears.
He was fine when I picked him up.
Imagine his sadness when I had to go run pick up take out. (subway...mmmm...favorite!)
I was gone for 25 minutes. He cried the entire time.
He was fine as soon as I picked him up!
What do I do you guys?
Logan didn't care at all if I left. Kiss on the cheek and happily away I'd skip!
I'm afraid now. Afraid of the wedding we're going to next weekend. The one that is 2 1/2 hrs away. (we're spending the night, JUST dave and I)
Will he cry the whole night?
I'm sad!
Because, as much as it irritates me that the boy can't just be easy ONE day out of his life, I HATE having him cry because he just wants his mama.
Ugh! have any of you gone through this? Because I just don't know what to do.
THEN, we're planning our anniversary trip next month...5 DAYS alone!
We NEEEEEEEEED some alone time SOOOOOO bad, but how can I feel good about leaving him when he obviously needs me.
This boy is so different then his brother was.
I don't know how to be a good mom to such a difficult child!
Do I give in? Carry him all the time? (First, will it be a bad thing for him mentally not being able to play by himself at given times? Although he DOES play in his playpen or on the floor for a good 10 minutes at a time sometimes...SECOND, he's almost 25lbs! He's freaking HEAVY! It's HARD to do that!)

I really need your help and advice.
Please! I'm literally going to go bonkers if I don't figure out this thing here soon!

Thursday, August 04, 2005


Why is it when things go wrong (or batteries DIE) it always happens at night.
Last night, about 12:00 we hear EAR piercing loud...BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
I jump up, thinking it's Miles' monitor. It wasn't, thank God.
But what WAS this beep!
After we quickly close the kids doors to hopefully keep them from waking up, we found it.
The Carbon Monoxide detector!

Dave starts freaking and says, "we need to get OUT! We need to open all of the windows! We need to call 911!"

I, less freaked said, lets look on the box to see what that code means.

Lb? L6? We couldn't really tell.
Dave, running around reading the freaking beeping thing that wouldn't STOP the ear piercing noise.

Lb...Lb...??? LOW BATTERY!

Even though it's plugged in the wall, it still needs a battery for backup.
It died.
It beeped.
It scared the shit out of my husband.
I stayed cool calm and collected and replaced the battery.

Dave was sleeping 3 minutes later.
I tossed and turned all night.

Freaking battery!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Way Back Wednesday


We are celebrating our 5th anniversary this year.

I only have what's saved on my computer, but here goes!
A couple snap shots, a couple professional...

Oooh! Now I'm going to have to share honeymoon pictures!!!

Trouble, he is a coming!

Almost ready for takeoff!
I bet any day now!

What happened to this little man?

Sniff Sniff
Happy 7 months Miles!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

TV=root of all childhood problems

and is the root of all childhood problems.
Children who watch TV will be less educated by the time they are in school, therefore will get bad grades.
ADD/ADHD, most likely caused by TV.
Obesity? You guessed it...the cause of TV.

Well, am I the ONLY one who doesn't think that having my child watch a little TV is going to cause them harm!?

Seriously now, I DO understand the importance of exercise and outdoor play, indoor imagination, book time, quiet time etc...

What I also understand is that TV has offered Logan a LOT in his short little life. He learned his ABC's with help from Mommy and Daddy AND a little help from Elmo and the gang.
He learned how to do some pretty cool exercise from watching Sportacus.
He's learned too many things to count from watch a bit here and there on this channel.

Maybe it is because we don't have cable (hmmm...maybe a root of our babysitter problems, ey?) and we don't see all the things lurking out there in cable world.
While Logan DOES watch TV, he also doesn't watch it every day. He runs, imagines, and READS...a LOT! At least 10-15 books are read a day to him. He has books on CD that he follows the story and turns the pages at the right time etc...

So, imagine my discomfort last night when I went to a work meeting and the topic turned to TV watching and children.
They now say that NO tv should be allowed for ANY child under the age of 3. It changes the way their brain works and the way they think.
This woman told the story of how she had her entire family over this weekend. After a long day of outings, her older nieces and nephews (4 and 5ish) wanted to turn on some TV and relax a bit. She forbid it. She said that her child (6 1/2 months) was not allowed to watch TV. She was feeding him in his highchair and thought that it might get him preoccupied and he would stop eating.
Later that night, when the baby was playing with his toys on the ground, they asked if they could watch a show (30 min show) that they watch at home. Again, the answer was no. There was no TV allowed in that house when her baby was awake.
I know another person like that also. She does not even allow her husband to watch TV at all when he gets home from work until after their son is in bed.

In my house, we have one TV in one livingroom and one TV in our bedroom.
We have 2 livingrooms. The main one off the kitchen has no TV. That is where we spend the majority of our day. When Dave gets home from work, we're in there until usually the kids go to bed, so it isn't an issue for us. But if Dave wanted to watch the news when he got home from work, I wouldn't FORBID him.

So, while I DO understand how SOME people go TV crazy, I do NOT see a problem with my child, or any child watching some TV. Hell, being a child is hard work! They play ALL day, and sometimes, really, they DO need a break. Being a MOM is hard work too! And sometimes, when Miles goes down for a nap, knowing that Logan will have a 30 minute movie in means just enough time for me to get something done (dinner started?) or relax right next to Logan and reenergize.

I don't think it is bad for Logan to get all excited to see what Bobis building today.
And I certainly don't think it is bad for him to learn about relationships based on some of his favorite shows.

Is TV the enemy?

Does YOUR child watch TV?
What do you think is too much?
*one little cool piece of information I learned from my meeting. In SOME states (Arizona is one of them) they look at the 3rd grade reading tests to know approximately how many beds they will need in state prisons by the time they are adults. Crazy, huh? Then, for inmates, if they learn how to read while in prison, they only have a 15% likelihood of returning to prison vs a number that I can't 60% or higher!*

Monday, August 01, 2005

It's 'take your kids to the park before it gets too hot to go outside' day

Yes my appears we are entering into another hot week from hell. I know it is worse in other places, but the humidity is just overwhelming sometimes.
Here, if it gets past 90 degrees outside, the daycares aren't even allowed to take the kids outside!

So, we headed to the park to run around seeing it will be just a bit too hot this afternoon.

It was a bit too hot this morning too!

We started with a bit of swinging

Then, a little ride

Which turned into a QUICK little snack..ew..

Some more park fun

And a nice big lunch

The tuckered out boys are napping away, HOPEFULLY for a good long while!

Happy Monday All!