The everyday life of a stay at home mom just trying to stay sane.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Click here...go! Now! Go read this wonderful news!

Monday, November 29, 2004

Out of the mouth of MY babe!

Logan has this sweet saying of, "when I grow up, just like Daddy......" and it just about melts my heart every time I hear him say it. I can only imagine what it does to Daddy's heart strings to imagine Logan grown up, just like him.
Well, Saturday was the wedding. When we arrived at the church I took Logan in the bathroom. We always go in the handicapped stall so we both fit, although it is quite funny if it is taken and there is this large pregnant woman and big 3 yr old trying to fit in a tiny stall!
We were not alone in the bathroom. there was someone else right next to us.

So, we get in the stall and Logan is preoccupied while I go 'potty'. He sees feet next to us, and asks me, "mom? Is that your other foot?" two feet are right here!"
While I am getting put back together he notices that I am wearing nylons. Seeing I NEVER dress up (sadly) he's never seen them before. He says in awe, "MOMMY! What ARE those?"
And I told him they are nylons. He then says, "MOM! I want to wear those! When I grow up, JUST LIKE DADDY, can I wear your nylons!" I about died! I tried not to laugh, but just couldn't help it! I'm thinking what on earth is the woman NEXT to us thinking about his daddy! haha!
THEN, it was HIS turn to go potty. Without revealing TOO much, lets just say he stands to go potty, and seeing he is getting taller we are in the process of teaching him how to aim so it goes in the potty. Got it?
Well, he then says out of NOwhere..."Mommy! If I had a GIANT pee-pee, I wouldn't have to push it down, right?" That was the straw that broke the camels back! I just couldn't hold it in and tried REALLY hard not to laugh. He said, "mommy! You don't have to laugh about it!" ahahahahahahahaha!
So, after that lovely conversation with my son in the stall we come out to wash our hands and WHO is standing there? An at least 80 yr old woman and the PASTOR! (I think that is what they are called? I only have men pastors, so is a woman 'pastor' called a 'pastor'?)
The older lady chuckled and said, "quite a talker he is, huh? Thats how they learn!!" and the pastor also thought it was really funny! For the remainder of the night, whenever we saw the older lady she would give us this, 'you really made my day' kindof smile.
Ah yes, he will kill me someday for writing this down! :) But that is what moms are for, right!!

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Check out MY stuffed turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

What a joke...(with a small update!)

I spent over an hour at Motherhood this evening. I figured it would be best to go without Logan so I could really take my time. Insanely swollen ankles and everything. I must have tried on 15 different dresses. What a fricking joke! Here, I think all the pregnant women in their adds look great in their fancy dresses and thought I might look semi-cute in one too! (I have a wedding on Saturday)
Well, the truth is that PROBABLY most of the women in their cutesy outfits are NOT pregnant, therefore do not have the weight added on in other places like MOST pregnant women I do! Either that or they are meant for women who are under 6 months pregnant! I looked ridiculous. Plain and simple. I was sad! The woman working there was more interested in talking to her husband about what outfit she should buy for their holiday party coming up. I ran around the store like a chicken with my head cut off finding different sizes while she sat and shopped herself., all along I figured that I was a medium. As, that is what I have in clothes at home, and yes, some are tight, but they aren't TOO tight! Well ladies...I'm not a medium. I'm a large. That was a little upsetting. I'm having a hard time with the weight gain this time! i have no idea why, but I just am. I'm up 25 lbs. While this might sound fine, its just hard to gain 25 lbs in 7 1/2 months! And lately with the water retention, the weight is appearing in my legs, and it WAS all in my stomach. Its a little sad to see, even though I know it will go away!
So, anyway, I settle on this black dress that I look the LEAST bit horrific in, and then find some cute flats at payless that have cute little flowers on the side. At least I thought they were cute until I came home and tried on the whole outfit for Dave. I looked SO funny! My ankles were SO swollen that I looked as though I HAD no ankles but only flowers sticking out of the sides of my feet. NO curves on my legs at all. Plain old elephant ankles. The dress looked hilarious!
I really didn't want to spend any money on this wedding because I'll be 35 weeks pregnant the day of the wedding. Who wants to spend money on a dressy outfit when I'm going to have a baby in a month or so? But after trying on the outfit and BOTH dave and I agreeing that I look like crap (in a nice way...really!) we have decided that I will go back, take it back and buy some dress PANTS and a cute top (clearanced! :)*) and THAT way, by the end of the evening after chasing Logan around all day/night I can hide my hideous ankles and feel semi-comfortable!
I wouldn't care at all really except this is a really exciting wedding for me. It will have all my college friends there, and they'll all be seeing me pregnant for the first time. They didn't see me pregnant with Logan (we all live in different states) and they'll be seeing me as a MOM for the first time. (they're mostly guys) and I don't want to look frumpy, and I REALLY want to look good!
On a GOOD note, I bought my babies coming home outfit while I was out shopping!
I tried to search for it on the Childrens Place website, but it was clearanced, so I guess its not on there. It is this SOFT FUZZY sweet little blue one piece outfit. It is baby blue, so I know it will go perfectly with his eyes. It is the most comfortable looking outfit. I just love it!
With Logan, I was in such a hurry to get him in pants and jeans and 'big boy' clothes so fast that with this baby, I want him to remain a BABY as long as I can! I'll be sticking with one piece outfits for as long as possible. How sweet the outfit is!
I had my 34 week appt today. Like I said, up 25 lbs. I have to start going weekly now. Which means from 30-40 weeks, I will have gone weekly except for one 2 week stretch. (due to the contractions).
Had a lovely cervical check again today. Still the same, long cervix, 1cm dilated. Its been that way for 4 weeks now (why do I think I'll go late with this pregnancy?)
Head is not engaged yet...still floating, and the doctor seems to think I have a more than average supply of amniotic fluid, so the baby has lots of fluid to move around in. (?? His words not mine)
I have my Strep test next week, so I believe I'll be having lovely pelvics from here on out.
Well, it is now time for me and my elephant ankles to go sit on the couch and relax for a while before I try to hop in bed (which is a feat all in itself..haha!! :)) and pray that I stay asleep tonight. Heartburn has for some reason thought that I needed company the last month. Its usually about 1:30 when I wake up with it, but tonight I think I'm exhausted enough to hopefully stay asleep! (Hopefully my bladder agrees!)
OH!! I forgot to add! We have a CRIB! A beautiful CRIB! Its all put together (by Logan and me!) and all it needs is a mattress! Its lovely!!! I washed all of Logan's 0-12 month clothes and forgot about a lot of the cute cute outfits he had! I can't wait to use them!!
I just cant believe I am almost 5 weeks until my due date! Girls! Can you??
OK, so I went back and tried on another 15+ outfits and FINALLY found something SOOO cute and SOOO comfy! Its cute black dress pants with a cute floral flowing top. They are stretch pants, and they will hide my elephant ankles! ;) And the shirt is 2 layers with the top being see-through and it is just so pretty! (it helps that it is longer so it hides my growing backside too! hee hee!) Being a SAHM I rarely have a chance to dress up, so I'm glad that I actually went shopping and actually got both the pants and the shirt for under $40. The pants I will be able to wear after the baby comes too! :) when I'm in that inbetween stage for the first few weeks or more.
Then I went and got a haircut and an eyebrow wax and feel like a million bucks! :)

Friday, November 19, 2004

When its your 2nd child...

The sortof bummer part of being pregnant with your second is that there is no celebration shower. (OK, that didn't come out right! Not a bummer about being know what I meant, right?)
I'm really feeling a bit sad about that.
Im not talking about everyone going and buying big presents etc...but just a CELEBRATION of this baby coming. A group of family/friends sitting around eating together, little baby outfits, talk about how life will change, advice from friend with more than rubbing...
In Logan's baby book, I have all his shower gifts listed, pictures of the shower etc.
For this baby, that page will have to sit empty, and that makes me sad to think that some day he will look back and think that no one celebrated him before birth.
And its really the truth too!
My mom and dad bought us our crib set which was really a nice suprise! I wasn't expecting that and had that on the long list of expensive things to buy. But she suprised me one day with the set. That was such a sweet suprise!!
My sister, well, that is a WHOLE other story. She has always been my 'best friend' and was a HUGE HUGE part of Logan's life. Besides Dave and I, Logan knew her and felt safest with her for all of his life. This changed in May of this year when she met her boyfriend. She has since then seen Logan maybe one time a month...maybe (vs. the previous 5+ times a week, she lives 1 mile away). She never comes to see him, watches him for us like she always did. She had planned once he turned 3 to have weekly or bi-monthly sleep overs at her house with Logan. All of that is done now because when she gets a boyfriend, she decides that there is only enough room in her life for one person. Logan got kicked to the side.
So, that means this baby won't be important enough for her to get to know him, and honestly I'm not sure I want him to get close to her like Logan did.
My few amount of friends never understood my infertility and to them, this is just another pregnancy. But to ME, this is a very special pregnancy. One that deserves to be celebrated!
One that deserves a cake! lol
My mom has health issues that would not allow her to plan or put together a shower for me, or I know she would.
My MIL is very very busy with her career and also her mother. (I'll give an update on her a little later)
Daves sister lives 4 1/2 hrs away. even if there was a chance that I was going to have a shower sometime this pregnancy, it just isn't going to happen.

I'm not sure why I'm so sad about this. Maybe because we lost an angel. Maybe because it took us over a year and a half to get pregnant. Maybe its because we wanted this baby SO bad and endured month after month of drugs that didn't work. Invasive tests that no one should know about. Over a year of having bruises on my arms from the countless blood tests. I can't tell you how many doctors I had to strip for, and the medical students that were in the room each time. The depression that came with the infertility. The isolation. I thought that I'd never be able to have my own baby ever again. The KNOWLEDGE that I have NOW with my diagnosis that there is basically no chance in hell that I'd ever get pregnant again even if we wanted to. (which we don't, so its ok...)
The knowledge that this is indeed my last pregnancy.
Doesn't anyone else think this is something worth having a party for?
This precious little man in my belly was someone that I met in my dreams at night. I prayed for him, and he's almost here.

I hope you don't think I sound ungreatful, and if you do, its ok to let me know. (unless you're a troll...we don't listen to them)
It really does sound silly to me to be upset about something so silly.
I might just have to make my own cake and have a party with Logan and Daddy.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

An *almost* interesting turn of events...

OK, stupid joke!
Last night, I fell asleep at 8:00! Can you believe it! I just can't keep my eyes open anymore because my quality of sleep just sucks lately! So, as soon as Logan goes to bed, I get all comfy on the couch and drift off myself!
I finally went to bed at 9:30 and Dave said he'd be up after the Amazing Race. (BTW~Who is as excited as I am about a new season already!!)
I woke up at 1:00am to find the living room light still on, the TV still going and had to go wake up dave and turn everything off.
After about 20 minutes of trying to fall back to sleep I all of a sudden had this gut wrentching, literally, feeling in my stomach!
The baby, who settled into the head down position was trying to flip!
Now, I know he has flipped MANY times, but being 33 1/2 weeks, he's much bigger these days.
He was kicking and trying SO hard to move his body. It was SUCH a strange feeling. actually uncomfortable. I couldn't help but groan! I felt as though I was seriously going to throw up because he was moving my organs so hard! I woke up dave without trying from my groans! haha! I was so light headed I thought I was going to pass out!
I can't explain it right, because I can see you all saying, 'he was just rolling over!' but I SWEAR it felt like more than that!!
Then, the baby finally got sideways and I think he was stuck! Either STUCK or too tired from all the work to try any more. THEN, he got the hiccups! Of course morbid me starting getting concerned that after all that his cord got tangled etc....and I had a little freakout in my head. I didn't tell Dave.
I started drifting off again during the hiccup stage and luckily slept pretty good until 6am when I woke up.
I immediatly started playing the 'name this baby part' game, and it appears that baby decided to go BACK to head down. now, luckily I slept through this part, as I was hoping I would!
I'm HOPING that baby has now realized that that is the way he should STAY and no more monkey business! And if he DOES want to flip, just make sure I'm SOUND asleep! (I blame it all on Dave!)
So, we are having unseasonable weather today. High of 62! But it has been rainy and dreary for the last 4 days. DREARY! The kind of weather you wish you could just curl up on the couch and read an entire book all day long. Gosh, I miss those days!
So, I decided that Logan and I should go for a long walk. Hopefully to engage little Mr's head in so he won't flip anymore.
I am hesitant to admit that my exercise routing consists whole lot of NOTHING the last month or so.
We started off on our hilly mile walk. Only one mile. Not too bad. Not bad at all!
UNLESS you have been doing NOTHING for the last month! My legs are jelly! It really felt good though! The cool fresh air in my lungs. The nice conversation Logan and I had.
It was just nice! maybe it helped?
I also got an exercise ball to sit on hoping it will help engage the baby's head. Anyone know if this really helps? Either way, its comfortable!
Today is the last day we are kicked out of our house at nap time. We've had construction workers here all week and last week finishing our mudding/taping downstairs. Only half a flight of stairs. Its a tri-level.
Today they are coming to spray our paint! I'm so excited because that means that we only have to do trim and carpet and a toliet and sink and we are DONE! It will add on so much living space!
But it has been a bit tiring to load all of Logan's bed friends go to Grandma's house everyday! I just want my house back!
Last thing, has nothing to do with me! If you could, go to Chez Miscarriage(in my links). She triggered last night (or actually this morning) and is using a gestational surrogate. I pray it works! This woman deserves this SO much!! Wish her luck!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Nesting is a real condition...

And I'm here to prove it!!
Did I not tell you in my last post that it would be a pre-curser to all the work I had in store for me?
Well, its true!
First, today I am 33 weeks! And I'm so excited about that! 33 weeks! No need to say anything else about that! :)

Second...its SO unfair to be nesting and to not have a bare empty room to start creating the new place your baby will live!
So, what do you do if you don't have a bare room! You make do!
I finished painting the lower half of the wall on Thursday night, and Dave finished painting the high stuff today and now our room is 100% painted. We have to add a chair rail, and that will be probably late next week or the following week. So, now it looks funny with the top half brown, the bottom half green and a fuzzy line of white in the middle. I can deal with it though! Its beginning to look like a baby room, and not a dump-all office! (You know what I mean if you have an office, right? Or are we the only slobs in the world?)
I pulled out Logan's changing table, and although I need to get a new pad on top and new contact paper on the bottom shelves to match this room...its IN the nursery! In its SPOT! I pulled in the ottoman and glider and table and put them in THEIR spot!
Yes, we still have a table in here full of STUFF that has no home right now, we have our computer desks (2 of them) and also a small filing cabinet and 3 boxes of stuff, but PEOPLE! The POINT is, I have a changing table, a glider, an ottoman, a table and a lamp IN THE BABY ROOM! Just pretend you don't see the white fuzzy line around the room and the rest of the junk and you might just think we were going to put a BABY in this room!

Now, we still don't have a dresser or a crib, but I DID purchase our new pack n play today. (Logan's crib was a hand me down and broke towards the end...same story with his pack n play)
so even if the baby decided to come early, at least I know he will have a place to sleep!
I'm going to finish our laundry tonight and start washing Logan's baby clothes.
I have to pick out the ones that I want to be extra special for him to save in his 'box'(which will be very hard because I can't imagine another baby wearing HIS clothes! how do people have GARAGE sales??)
Things are moving in a foward direction! Good thing, huh? Because...did I mention I'm 33 weeks today! ;)

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

The time has come in this pregnancy...

...where I am just plain tired.
**TOTAL WHINEY POST...READ at your OWN risk!**
I didn't think I'd get there! I am enjoying every last minute of this pregnancy, and thought it would all be cake-walk because I tried so hard to get here and all the hard symptoms I could breeze through.
Well, it really HAS been a cake-walk, up until this week I think.
I'm tired.
I'm going on 33 weeks, and let me tell you, staying home with a just turned 3 yr old, 2 birthday parties back to back(one at chuck-e-cheese which was purely exhausting!), a construction crew (as we 'speak') finishing up the drywall in our basement, cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing, painting, and not sleeping can really REALLY make you tired.
The sleeping thing...I try to go to bed around 10ish, and then read for 30 min to clear my head. As soon as I put my head down on my pillow and turn out the light the heartburn from hell comes on. So, I try to prop myself up with a million pillows secretly wishing we had the funds to make a random purchase of a recliner so that I could sleep upright. When I finally get to sleep, I am woken up to use the bathroom(at least 3 times a night). And, apparently I think we will be having a night owl. He wakes me up many many times a night moving and grooving in my belly. (THAT doesn't bother me though! Its really reassuring!)
When the alarm goes off at 6:25, I feel more tired than I did before I went to sleep.
My eyes are puffy, and I look like I'm dragging.
I had to take off my wedding rings today because I'm swelling, and I'm so sad about that. I've gained 3 lbs this WEEK I believe (have an appt in an hour, so we'll see) which will bring me up to a 22 lb weight gain so far. Not bad for almost 33 weeks, and MUCH better than I was with Logan, but the 3 lbs in one week makes me wonder if it will be 3 lbs EVERY week!
We have yet to complete our nursery. In fact, only half of it is painted.
We have no crib.
We have no dresser.
We have none of Logan's clothes brought out yet.
In fact, I'm sitting on the computer IN the soon to be baby room! Its still an office!
All of this is planned, but when you have the finishing of the basement going on, that takes up a lot of time. And when the office will BE in the basement, where do you go with all the office furniture in the mean time? I think I'm 100% responsible for the nursery getting finished. Which, is GREAT but I also have 100% care of Logan to take care of too!
Every tried painting a room with a child around? Yes, its possible if you are watching him every second to make sure the small area you gave him to paint is staying in the lines, as to not get in the other color. (half is brown, half is green for a jungle theme)
I broke down in tears to Dave the other night in a emotional pregnancy state telling him I need a DAY off! A full day! Not one where he is home and Logan is home because then it always winds up that DAVE is the one who gets the day off because Logan is just used to me being around and I literally can't even use the bathroom without him with me. I need a full day to do things at my pace. The bummer is I don't think I'll get that day. No, I know I won't.

So, until then, my living room has turned into a play room with all of Logan's new toys spread all across the floor, and I don't have the energy to find new places for them.
My bathroom really could be cleaned today (But I probably won't do that)
I have about 4 loads of laundry to do.
I need to paint.
I have to take Logan to nap at my parents because the men working downstairs are WAAAY too loud to sleep here (which means a good 3-4 hrs out of the house so that I won't be accomplishing a thing)
And I have to go to the doctors soon and step on the dreaded scale!

Hmmm...maybe getting these feelings out is just what I needed to get a surge of energy and accomplish a lot, right?
We'll see! Maybe I'll post later, "I got my laundry done, my bathroom cleaned, Logan's toys organized and I'm just about to paint? All this while I have my gormet dinner in the oven and dessert cooling on the pie rack!"
...or not! :)

Saturday, November 06, 2004

November 7, 2001

Such a day for me.
Sad, happy, teary eyed all day.
3 yrs ago today I was in labor with Logan.
I'd like to relive a bit of that if you don't mind reading it.
My due date was November 5th. That day, I felt some what refreshed and full of energy. I remember having to go to the post office that day and running into my mother in law. She asked how I was feeling and I said GREAT! Because I knew I wasn't going to go into labor that day! My due date of all days!
But, that night I started feeling really crampy. I slept on the couch because I was so uncomfortable. I woke up at 4:30ish a.m.(November 6th) having contractions. REAL contractions! Real TIMABLE contractions that were coming every 5ish minutes.
I was in shock! We stayed home until 10:00ish when we decided we should go to the hospital. I remember getting checked at about 11:00ish and being told I was a 2-3. They told me I could walk around the halls and come back in an hour to see if I had progressed. Now, this might SOUND like a good idea, but the walk was a square. OVER and OVER again! I remember being in pain and wanting to just sit down, but I was afraid they were going to send me home. I remember leaning on the wall during the contractions. I remember Dave rubbing the small of my back. And I remember that hurting, but I didn't want to tell him!
After an hour, I remember getting checked and I was instead of a 2-3, a full 3. ( the doc said she 'stretched' me to a 3...must have been a slow day!)
We were admitted! Dave didn't quite understand what exactly that meant. The nurse overheard him calling my parents and telling them we were admitted, but wasn't sure what was going to happen next. She interrupted him and told him we were not leaving the hospital without a baby! That the baby was coming TODAY! I think he finally understood, THIS was it!
So I remember feeling a little worried, scared and even though my husband was there I felt a bit alone. I remember the nurse walking us to our room. She asked all the questions, and I felt weird breathing through the contractions because she was impatiently waiting to do the paperwork. It was odd, really.
I had been in labor now for over 8 hrs, and was only at a 3cm.
She told me my doctor was on call all night, and that I could probably expect to delivery by midnight at the latest!
I remember wanting to take a bath (it was a birthing suite and we had a jaccuzi tub) and wanted some pain medication. I didn't want an epidural, so they gave me a shot of demerol and I got into the tub. Again, nurses were coming in and the resident doc and I was there, in the tub naked. was weird!
I thought I'd love the bath, but actually I couldn't find a comfortable position to lay in through the contractions. The Demoral didn't take any edge off, all it did was make me VERY sleepy in between contractions. I wanted to get out.
The doctor then broke my water to try to get things moving. Now, let me tell you. if you've never had your water break, it is SUCH a strange feeling! I had a LOT of water and when it broke it wouldn't stop GUSHING!
It was pretty gross to me, I must admit! If I moved, more gushed out. I'll never forget that feeling!
I had all these plans for my labor! Birthing ball was one of them, but right about this time the contractions were hard, coming very frequently and I felt as though I was drowning.
I couldn't find my peaceful spot, and they said just get through one contraction at a time, but when I knew I was only 3ish cm dilated, one contraction wasn't all it was going to be.
I panicked! I freaked out! I asked Dave if he would get mad if I got an epidural! I laugh at that now! I'd NEVER ask now! haha! He wasn't in the pain, I was!
We called for the ani..aneths...I will never spell it right! The doctor! haha!
It took FOREVER for him to get up to my room.
I couldn't breath, I kept begging the nurse to go get him. That was my breakdown in the whole labor.
Finally, he came, we started the procedure. Strangely, I was afraid before of having a needle go into my back, but at this moment fear was not on my mind. After it went in, I slowly felt relief. Its an amazing feeling actually! I went from panic, to slowly being so calm! It was GREAT! He was my hero!
I got an epidural after 14hrs of constant labor with contractions every 3-5 minutes.
I remember getting checked around 8ish I believe and only being a 5cm! I was so sad that I was only half way and had been laboring ALL day!
Dave and I slept a little, just a little. The nurse was watching my vitals and sitting right next to me the whole time. Finally, she called in the doctor. It appeared Logan was getting distressed. I was placed on my right side with an oxygen mask on my face. I asked if I could move after about 30 minutes and we tried to move me but instantly Logan's heartrate dropped. I went back to my side.
I started shivering. Teeth chattering shivering. I had developed a fever. 103.5 at the highest.
I had to have antibiotics in my IV, and tylenol by mouth, by IV, and my bottom.
They tested some of my fluid and discovered that I had chorioamniosis (I spelled that wrong too!) which is an infection in your amniotic fluid.
It was about 2:00a.m. when the doctor first told me that my chances of a c-sect were very high if my body didn't fully dialate soon. The infection was not a good thing, and neither was the fever.
I remember calling my parents. I talked to my dad. It was very comforting hearing his voice. (I've never told him that, maybe I should)
All of a sudden I remember I started feeling pain! Pain in my lower abdomen! My epidural wasn't working all over! I was scared, and we got the doctor (yes...the know!) back up and he put it back in again. Thank GOD it worked! I was so tired, I could barely think!
I didn't see my doctor again for a long time. Apparently the woman next to me hemmoraged and had to have an emergency C-sect. But the good news was that at 3:45 am the resident checked my and I was FINALLY at almost a 10cm! yay!
I could start pushing! But, by this time I was in labor for almost 24 hrs! I hadn't eaten anything all day and I had gotten MAYBE 1 hr of sleep total. I was completely EXHAUSTED!
But, I pushed! I pushed and pushed and pushed!
I pushed for an hour. I pushed for 2 hrs. I pushed for 3 hrs. EVER freaking 5 minutes, I pushed! I pushed with all my might! I remember pretending at this point that I didn't 'feel' the contraction so I could just have a break! Finally, my nurse said, 'if you need a break, just let me know!'
Uh! I NEED a break!
After 4 hrs of pushing, my doc arrived again (did I mention I never liked her) and said I was getting close.
I kept pushing. I told her if she had to give me episomity to please not let me know. I didn't want to know at all! She then rudely told me that it was too late for that. I had already torn! THANKS doc!
Logan was facing upwards instead of downwards and she tried turning him 4 times, but each time he switched back around. That makes the pushing harder and longer (or so I am told)
4 1/2 hrs after my first push, Logan David was born at 8:14am, November 7th. He was born face up with his arm wrapped around his neck. That COULD explain all the pushing, and the 3rd degree tears I got, don't you think?
It was an amazing thing when he was born!
I was SO tired that I slumped back in my bed and looked at the ceiling in disbelief. The nurse said, "JEN! Look at your SON!" I had a BOY! I knew in my heart of hearts it was a boy, but to hear the 'its a boy'...I'll never forget it! I remember looking at him and couldn't believe that I was meeting my SON!...MY son!
They all asked right away if he had a name. We had a couple set aside, but Dave and I both said Logan at the same time. There was a new human being right there that WE created! Logan David.
They put him on my chest and I remember his head wasn't facing me! I was too afraid of breaking him that I didn't move him! I just looked at his chubby little body and his head and Dave talked to him!
They cleaned him and weighed and measured him (8lbs 13oz...21 1/2 inches)
Here's a pic right after he was cleaned up. I call this one meeting mommy because it was the first meeting experience.
I have a million pictures I'd love to share, but here's one more. One of my favorites!
OK...ONE more! Our first day home!
From that day on my life has forever been changed.
I am a mom. A mommy.
That day seems like it was yesterday. The day I gave birth to my son. Being so pregnant today makes it even more real. Its almost as I can FEEL what I felt right before I gave birth to him.
I look at him today with such awe. How someone so tiny grew up right before my eyes into a kind caring little boy is beyond me.

At age 3, here is a bit about Logan.
He loves music. He plays our piano every day. He plays the bugle and trumpet at my parents. He loves the drums, and harmonica. He loves Dave Matthews and Phil Collins! haha! But neither of them are nearly as good as the Wiggles.
He says please and thank you and I'm sorry. He makes me proud of him every day.
He loves trucks, boats, motorcycles, busses, trains and just about anything else that goes vroom.
He's afraid of the dark, and of monsters.
His favorite food is a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and he hates pizza.
He wakes me up every morning by saying, 'boo mommy'
His smile melts my heart every time I see it.
I still cannot believe some days that I am lucky enough to have him call me 'mommy' and when he tells me out of the blue that he 'loves me very very much', I could cry.

Here's a recent picture of him.
Happy Birthday my little Man!
Your mommy couldn't love you more!
I'm so proud of you as you are turning into the kind of little boy I had always hoped you would be!
May God bless us with years and years of fun together!
I love you with all of my heart!

Monday, November 01, 2004


First, a dear sweet friend of mine, R, found out today that her 3rd attempt at IVF has failed. It was a perfect cycle. 3 beautiful embryo's transferred.
I'm crushed for her. I'm devistated for her.
Keep her in your prayers.
The meds seem to be helping quite a bit, while I'm still contracting, its not as strong or as many.
I had a check up today and he is pleased with the result of the medication.
He believes after his exam that the baby is head down now! (YAY!)
He still wants to see me weekly though, and take the meds as needed for contractions.
Its basically all on me. He said what is not urgent today could very easily become urgent tomorrow. I have to really watch and pay attention to my contractions etc.
But the great news is that he allowed me to go to Chicago!
I'm so excited and have SO much to do before we leave!
We're leaving in a couple hrs and I have to pack still!
So, I'll be gone until Friday!
Happy week to all of you! :)