The everyday life of a stay at home mom just trying to stay sane.

Friday, September 30, 2005

It was a proud day

Last Tuesday I arrived at Logan's preschool a bit early. We were leaving the next day for Vermont, so I had some baby food shopping to do and just wound up getting there early. There are two doors into the classroom. Both were closed, so I just watched through the window.
All the kids were doing free play.
They were all so sweet.

I searched for Logan. He had on an obvious shirt that would be hard to miss, but unfortunately I didn't see the shirt.
There were 20 children running around, but I did not see Logan.

As I was about to get concerned, I saw this cute little child walk past in a cute little dressup outfit. It was the most sparkly thing. Blue, purple, pink...ruffles, bows, ribbons. The cutest little blue high heeled shoes to boot. have a daughter, I thought to myself.

Then, the cute little girl turned around...I think you see where I'm going here...and the cute little girl was my SON.

Dressed up as Cinderella, definitely would have been the belle of the ball. Walking so (un)gracefully in his high heel shoes.

The only good thing about it was he was playing with a firetruck.

As class ended, his teacher was next to us and I said, "I see my son was Cinderella today!" and she smiled and winked and said, "oh yes he was. He even traded the cowboy hat and cowboy boots for the Cinderella dress!"


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

What it takes to get a picture of the tooth

I swear, no torture was used taking these pictures.
But, after many a flash, I was able to get THEE picture of the first tooth (and a cheerio)
Can you see it?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Nothing like crawling into your own bed

You know, you always think you'll sleep better on vacation, but really, you never do. At least I never do!
We had a great time, and I can't wait to share pics. But for now, I have Logan in preschool, Miles napping, and I need to catch up a bit.

Our vacation was a little bit of nature, a little bit of bad hotel stays (how shall I say it...well, lets just say that 3/4's of the rooms had stickers that said "CLOSED DUE TO HEALTH". After talking to many locals who begged us to get out, we checked ourselves right out of that Howard Johnson so fast!)
Great friends (meeting some online girlfriends that we have known for 5 yrs. It was so exciting!)
Good food, for the most part.
Amazing views.
Just great!

Vermonters seem to be a bunch of tree huggers. Coming from the city I do, I never thought I'd see MORE tree huggers than I do here, but hands down, Vermont won.
I never saw so many long LONG beards either. What's up with that?

So, for now, I just had a second to say hello!
I'll be back sometime with pictures!
It's so good to be home!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

And we're off

Well, I got almost everything done that needed to be done. Almost is the key word there.

We'll be back next Monday.

Have a fun week, and post some more recipes if you have them!
Thank you to Kari, Kether, and the two others for playing!


FOOTBALL Sunday is here!

Now, today is quite the hectic day for me as our annual vacation is TOMORROW!
I've got way too much laundry to do, too many errands to run, nothing packed, and I must get my eyebrows waxed before we go....all while taking care of my sweet little boys whom I'm going to miss like crazy (but also enjoy my adult time to the fullest!)
Do ya think I'm going to get it all done?

Yeah, me either.

So, while I'm busting my tush today TRYING, you get posting some yummy appetizers!

I will post mine today sometime, I promise. Ok, I promise I'll try, how about that?

Anyone who is visiting this blog for the first time, or anyone who hasn't commented before...step right up!

We don't need anything fancy, but fancy is fine is you are a fancy person!

I will copy/paste each and every recipe into the Tantalizing Tuesday blogsite!(link in my side bar as well)

So, get those fingers typing! ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Tomorrow is Tuesday


This weeks theme:

Want to get involved and have YOUR recipe included?
Here's how you do just that!

Get out those appetizer recipes.

Little wieners? Perfect!
Taco Dip? LOVE it!

Any other 'really not so good for you, but you have an excuse seeing it's FOOTBALL SUNDAY and heck, you're drinking LITE beer, so calories don't matter, right?' foods?

Go ahead and post them and they will be added to the Tantalizing Tuesday blog (linked in my side bar and in the top of this post)

You don't eat 'not so good for you' foods? That's OK, post your favorite 'good for you' appetizer!

Hey...I'm talking to you!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

eating issue

Can anyone relate and help?
I'm having the hardest time getting Miles to eat his formula.
He's never been a big eater. 20oz was a good day.
Well, now it's totally dropping.
It's 12:35 and with 3 bottles today he's had a total of only 5 1/2 ounces.
He only has 2 bottles left for the day.
He has no juice. Occasionally he'll have a couple sips of water with his meal, but this is how our daily schedule goes.
6:00-6:30ish bottle

The last bottle is the ONLY bottle he'll drink. He usually drinks 7-8oz at that time.
So, I called the pedi and he said make sure he gets no less than 20 oz. He switched us to soy in case there was an allergy(stupid IMO-he's not drinking because he thinks, 'hm..this is going to give me a tummyache)
He said if he's still not eating, he needs to be seen.

Yesterday I was able to get 18oz in.
The day before, only 14oz.

I tried it in a cup in case he was sick of bottles, no avail.
Not only am I afraid he's not getting the nutrients he's supposed to have, I'm afraid he's not getting the FLUID he's supposed to have.
I have tried giving him juice. He looks at me like I am the devil.
Water is OK, but I guess if he's drinking SOMETHING I'd rather it be formula.

Oh, and I space his bottles out so he eats them before and in between meals, so I know he's not just over eating solids.

So, besides the following:
~try in a cup
~try to feed him less

Does anyone else have any suggestions?

Friday, September 16, 2005

5 yrs ago today

I married my best friend.
You know he's the right one when you can do in front of him all the silly things you never thought you could do in front of a guy.
It doesn't matter what, I'm comfortable around him.
Plus, he's darn good looking, if I do say so myself! ;)
5 years!
So, in 5 years, we went from:
*living in a 2 bedroom apartment
much more income coming in then bills (DINK's as they like to say)
which meant we had a lot of fun (aka-drinking, socializing, late nights)
slept in whenever we wanted
ordered pizza way too much
were really young. (23-me, 24-him)

Then 5 yrs later:

*2 kids, lots of baggage along the way of having them
*One income
*late nights-but not because of ANY party's
*Can't remember the last time I've slept until 7am
*heck-we still order pizza way too often
*extra rolls and pudge around the middle...both middles

**a sense of being complete
**knowing that that shoulder will be there...always
**never fully understanding how much you can count on someone
**A love I could have never imagined

Tonight, I celebrate ( night!) with my best friend, and my husband.

A couple of older pictures from our Florida trip, but ones I like.(don't mind the purple mouth in the second one...that was taken after about 7 too many glasses of wine)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Thank you for everyone who participated in Tantalizing Tuesday!
The recipes are perfect!
I can't wait to try them out!
I'm going to add them all as we go to a link on my side bar.
If you didn't have time to participate yesterday and want to add, go ahead! :)
Next week: Football Sunday!
Give us your yummy appetizer!
You know when you have one of those days where you expect nothing out of yourself.
Like, if I wasn't a SAHM I would have called in sick.
Yeah. One of those 'perks' about being a sick days.

No, I'm not sick. Monday night I got TOTAL 5 hrs of sleep. Last night, I had an all out cry session with Dave. (just one of those nights where crying actually feels good) I don't know about you, but when I cry, like REALLY cry, I NEED to sleep afterwards. My eyes get puffy and red, and my mind shuts down.
I crawled into bed at 10:00 ready to let it all go.
Which worked lovely until 10:30 when Miles burst into tears.
Going in, giving him his pacifier and laying him back down turned the tears into yells. Did I tell you this child can yell. Loud.
He did this the night before too.
I picked him up thinking his tooth/gums might be bothering him. (his first poked through on Saturday)
We rocked for about 5-8 minutes or so (WIDE awake) and I put him back down.
No tears.
Wide awake.
No tears.
Me-back to sleep.
Until 1:30...Repeat.
Me thinking that my poor babe is getting sick? Hot? Cold? Hungry?
1:48 I crawled back into bed and snuggled up with my SNORING husband.
Of course, I don't know about you, but I can't just turn off and go to sleep, so I had to try to keep the thoughts from creeping into my brain.
3:30...Repeat. Except this time I made Dave get up.
He comes in at 3:45 and says, "I think he's FINE! I think he just wants us to come in!"
And I think he is RIGHT!
Little shit!
So we closed the door, prayed that Logan wouldn't wake up and listened to him cry (make that me...Dave fell back to sleep instantly) for about 8 minutes.
He slept until 6:30.
I'm assuming tonight will be a bad one.
What were we thinking?
See, what he does though is gets right to the end and chucks his pacifier out.
I think he knows that we'll come in!
How does such a small...I mean young, small isn't a term we use for him...have the brains to be conniving?
So, barely any sleep two nights in a row.
Extremely puffy blood shot eyes this morning.
Not nearly enough coffee to get me through.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


So, yesterday I asked you all (all 5 of you readers! hee hee) to come up with some recipes every Tuesday. Tantalizing Tuesday!
Each week will have a theme.
Some of you are going to have a really long week when you realize that TODAY is actually Tuesday, not yesterday. ;) Hate it when that happens!

So, go ahead and let me have them!
I'm going to create a link and save them all in case anyone wants to check them out later!

Have a chicken recipe you love? Post it!
Have one you want to try? We might too! Post it!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Tantalizing Tuesday

So, we already have:
Way Back Wednesday
Half Nekkid Thursday
Self Portrait Friday 1
Self Portrait Friday 2

I'm going to go all out and climb out of my funkdom. Yes, that is a me.
Once, a while back Carrie told me that she was trying out new recipes on a very regular basis trying to add to her menu.
I thought that was a great idea, but hey...let's be honest. I'm lazy when it comes to cooking. I'd rather bake than cook, but I'm quite happy with the scale these days, and I don't need anything like THIS that I've made in the past to come back to my thighs. Um...but...yeah, YUM! Just in case you were interested. Unbelievably GOOD!
I just need something completely relaxing to take some space in my head. (business:REGISTERED yesterday!!)
Here enters YOU! Yes, my dwindling list of readers, I'm asking for YOUR help in expanding my horizons.
I'd like to start TANTALIZING TUESDAY.

Tantalizing :adj 1: arousing desire or expectation for something unattainable or mockingly out of reach; "a tantalizing taste of success" [syn: tantalising] 2: very pleasantly inviting; "a tantalizing aroma"; "a tempting repast" [syn: tantalising, tempting]

So, we'll go with definition 2 seeing I'm hoping that each recipe will be attainable.

So, come one come all and let's get our recipe box filled with good to eat recipes!
My husband will THANK you!

This weeks theme: CHICKEN

If you don't have a recipe you love, find one you'd like to try! Chances are good if YOU'D like to try it, I would too! (or someone else reading) This site really is great for in a pinch recipes.

OK, seeing it's already Monday, see what you can dig out for tomorrow!
You can either post your recipe in my comments, or post it in your blog telling me to go check it out! Hey, that would be a great way for me to check out your blog too! I'm always looking for new blogs to read!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

under the knife...postponed

I got the call today.
No surgery tomorrow.
I sortof in the back of my head figured this was going to happen.

Apparently my blood work came back as if I DID have surgery I could have some major problems.
My Factor VIII & Factor I are low-put with prolonged PT/PTT times and we're not sitting too pretty for surgery.

So, while I already gave 7 vials of blood last week, I had to go back and give 5 more today. More tests.
There are these two possible causes.
Or maybe not them at all.
Another cause he is checking is this.

yeah.not really liking any of the above options.
We'll deal with what we're given though, I guess, right?, my blog pretty much sucks theses days.
It's OK if you agree.
I'm in a funk, with multiple areas of life.

I'm going to TRY to have some happy posts soon, I promise!!

Oh, one happy thing! We're going on our vacation in 11 days!
And we switched our destination to Vermont.
Going to meet some friends there for a day/night and spend the rest of the time with my best friend. We're so excited to be able to stay up late, sleep late, eat good, and hopefully reconnect in a way we haven't been able to in so long.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

blubbering fool

My friend of 15+ years called me today to tell me she lost her baby.
She was almost 13 weeks.
I was so sad for her.
I tried to say all the things I wish someone had said to me.
I'm sure I said the wrong things.
I think I tried too hard.

She asked how long I remembered my loss.

I told her I still do.

I told her I remember the nurse who told me my beta's were falling.
I remember the conversation I had on the telephone with the doctor.
I remember laying in bed all day with emotions that switched from sadness to 'mad at the world'.
I told her that while I have 2 children, I'll never forget there was another pregnancy, another life in there.

She asked if she should feel like someone died.

I told her that I couldn't answer that question for her.
I told her I felt as though someone died when I had my loss.
All she kept saying was, 'but we saw him kicking on the screen just a couple weeks ago...we heard the heartbeat...we heard the heartbeat."

She sobbed, I cried.

I cried for her loss. I thought of my loss.

I'll never ever forget that right now I'd have a baby who would be over 2 yrs old.

The ironic thing is, we'll both be in surgery probably at the same time on the same day in the same building for the same procedure.
Her's to remove her baby-mine to remove possible placenta.

I hope I see her.
I hope I can hug her.
I wish this never happened.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The first day...

Today was Logan's first day of REAL preschool.
My little boy, not so little anymore folks.
Speaking of not so little, he measured in at 42 1/2 inches this weekend! He's SO tall!!
So, of course he did fine. No tears, no problems.
He loved it, and I loved seeing him love it.
We picked out his backpack yesterday. FYI~For any of you who need backpacks for your little ones, go to Children's place. They have MINI backpacks! They are PERFECT! They do not hang down to the middle of his knees!
He was so sweet and old looking to me today!
Check out some pictures!

My little 'teacher's pet' right in the front! Hey, ya gotta be able to SEE the pictures, right? ;)

Saturday, September 03, 2005


The actual term used by my hematologist.
I had my repeat labs+about a gallon of blood taken out for extra tests.
SEVEN vials.
We won't get all of the results back until Tuesday, but what we DID get back leaves him 'perplexed'.
One of my tests that HAS been abnormal is now the very highest of normal. For example, if normal was 5.0-12.6, mine was 12.6.
My other one that was abnormal is getting MORE abnormal. (taking too many seconds for my blood to clot)
Then, a new test that he just threw in there to see what would happen, fully expecting it to be normal came back abnormal.

He said that that right there shows him that something is going on. We just need to figure it out.
He DOES believe this is acquired. Meaning, I was not born with it, it just happened.

So, these are a couple theories he has.

1. With the HELLP syndrome, my liver was affected. normal lab values are under 30 and my highest was 276. Still, not OVERLY high in his opinion, to leave permanent damage. However, apparently your liver is 'in charge' of all the the factors needed to clot your blood properly. My liver may still be a bit damaged and needs more time to heal. My liver labs were back to normal by 2 weeks post partum though.
Thus, he is quite sure this theory isn't what will be found out.

2. Sometimes, if there is an internal injury or problem, the injury or problem will take up too many of a certain clotting factor(s) to help fix the problem. Enter in:possible retained placenta. IF I have retained placenta (which, really, I'm not very positive feeling that there WILL be some found, but we'll see) then possibly the placenta is hoarding the factors I need else where in my body.
Take out the placenta, blood goes back to normal.
Good theory, right? He said this is probably NOT the case, as it would be very rare.

3. My body may have developed an immunity to a certain factor and is trying to get rid of it, causing the rest of my clotting factors to work harder, but they are not able to do all of the work. We will know this when my factor assays come in next week.

If he still doesn't know what is going on, he's going to refer me to the University Hospital. He said now that we know SOMETHING is going on, we need to know what.
According to him, the fear is the unknown.
He said, if he knew I had a very mild case of hemophilia, we all would know what needed to be done if I were in an accident or needed surgery. Seeing we're getting abnormal readings, but not knowing WHY, he can't be sure of anything.

Depending on what my labs reveal, my surgery is still planned for Friday, and he will be oncall and in the building in case excessive bleeding does occur. bleh.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

all of those precious babies.
I feel so helpless.

giggles and beach balls

This morning, as I was pouring my first cup of coffee, I just sat and listened.
We have a half wall separating our livingroom and kitchen.
Neither of the kids could see me, but I could see them.
Logan was PLAYING with Miles.
Crawling up to him and blowing up this little beach ball and then waiting for Miles to try to grab it and then quick backing up.
Miles was totally enjoying it, with this look of awe on his face.
Over and over, Logan giggling, Miles smiling a huge gummy grin and trying to move as fast as his big bro.
Yes, they have interacted many times before, but always with my start.
This time was all on their own.
It is so exciting to think of them playing together.
I think, someday I'll say, "Logan, Miles, Go play in your rooms!" or "Why don't you boys go play outside"
This is what it is all about.
This is what I thought about long ago when I didn't think we would be able to conceive.
It's happening right before my eyes.
It's changing in Logan's eyes from, 'the baby' to 'MY brother'.
His 'brother' is now 2 days shy of 8 months.
He's a pro at crawling, and can go from crawling to sitting and even pulling up to his knees on anything he can. He wakes up from his nap and grabs the bars and starts bouncing and throws his pacifier over the edge so I'll come in and get him RIGHT away.
He feeds himself anything he can. Some favorites are of course: cheerios, graham crackers, saltines, wheat bread, small pieces of cheese, and can't forget the gerber puffs.
I truly can't believe that he will be 1 yr old in 4 short months.
I look back at these 8 months and am really glad I blogged because I honestly don't remember a lot.
Sure, I remember lot's of sleepless nights, lots and LOTS (to this day) of tears and crabs, but the good things are what I want to keep with me always.
I know he's going to be something special. He's got a determination unlike what I've seen before.
'Dammit Mom, if this ear piercing level of screams doesn't make you put down that dinner spoon, pick me up and stop cooking, let's try THIS level. Oh, that doesn't work? What if I search the livingroom for the ONE small toy that Logan left on the floor. LOOK MOM! I'M PUTTING IT IN MY MOUTH!! I'M NOT KIDDING! HERE...IT...GOES! MOM!!!
yeah, thought that would work!"

Days are long when Dave has to travel for a week at a time. This is one of those weeks. Today, that short 2 minutes worth of play that I watched made me feel so good. So happy. It's so great being a mom.

Speaking of long days when Dave is gone.
I seem to have this habit of trying to find as much as I can possibly do to cram fill the days so the week goes by quicker.
Each time I think, WHY did I plan SO much? I'd rather sit back and sip coffee all day.(um..someday I think I'll blog about my coffee addiction)
This week, I painted our kitchen(2 coats) (I'll post pics! I LOVE it), painted LOGAN'S room (2 coats) had my MIL come and help me apply a border in his room. (actually, little dude was NOT happy that we were doing something other than playing with him, so the night was particularly full of tears. I basically took care of Miles and SHE hung 80% of the wallpaper)
Not to mention Logan's preschool orientation, a book party, closing a different huge book party (yay$$$) and all the other things that go along with the day.
Yep, my house has turned into kid zone and no laundry is done, but the walls are painted and Dave comes home tomorrow!