The everyday life of a stay at home mom just trying to stay sane.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Aren't they supposed to be alike?

Night and Day-Day and Night.
That's my boys!!

I know I've said this before, but I seriously always figured that raising a second boy would be cake walk because I had already done all of those things with my first boy.
The thing I never realized could happen was that even though they are both boys, and they basically look the same, they could be so different!

Take courage for example.
Sure, Logan has had to do many courageous things in his short life...sedated and unsedated MRI's, hospital stays etc...but he's 99% a mamma's boy. Up until he turned 4, he wouldn't even jump off the couch (or hell, the curb!) without holding someone's hand. He's getting past that, but still VERY cautious.
He thinks he's brave when he jumps on one foot!
He can't get his face wet in the bath without yelling for a dry towel, and would never EVER think about dunking his head.

This weekend we took the kids swimming in our new health club pool. It's a 0" degree pool, so in my little head, Miles and I would be sitting in a couple inch deep water while Daddy held Logan and 'swam' with him.


Now, Logan has gone swimming recently and really loved the inner tube, so I got him some water wings hoping to add some courage. That worked, and he was floating all around!
Miles decided that he wanted NOTHING to do with the little couple inch deep water and stood up ready to walk out in the middle of the water! And he would have too, if I wouldn't have stopped him!
He wanted to go in the waterfall thingy and get his face completely wet. This coming from the younger brother who stays FAR away when that turns on. If water splashes his nose he freaks!
We went in the deeper end and Miles tried SO hard to wiggle out of my arms so that he could 'swim'.
Dave and I had to pass him back and forth because if he was not splashing and kicking he wasn't content. IT was tough work!!

Miles new trick is climbing. He can climb on just about anything. Logan NEVER climbed! I seriously don't think he ever climbed and stood on anything until he was at least 3 and knew how to get back down.
Miles sees that I am in the kitchen and looks for the most dangerous piece of furniture to climb and takes off. I've actually come to terms with my dining room table chairs laying down. I always laughed at people who had to do that. 'Not MY good little boy', I would think. Ha! Payback!

Logan, right up until the time he was potty trained would sit ever so still on his changing table while I changed his diaper and sang songs. I'd point out his little piggy's, his nose, his ears and then gobble up his tummy. It was a sweet time where he learned his body parts quite quickly!

Diaper changing time NOW is flop down, strip down, get diaper off, get kicked in the face...again...try hard to keep child on his back without much luck, and finally fasten the diaper-completely uneven. The pants rarely go back on anymore until we are playing and can be distracted.
This kid will never know the difference between his nose and his knee.

I must say, I am SO excited (but a bit scared) to see how Miles turns out. He'll be 18mo by this summer, and he'll be a riot in the sprinkler and sandbox, I'm sure!!
I've never heard of a big brother being afraid of his baby brother, but I'm thinking this will be the case in Casa Blue!

Raising two boys-you'd think it would be the same! FAR from it!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

I've had enough!

Enough of winter that is!
The older I get, the longer winter feels.
I swear, half our year is winter. Literally!

I'm so sick of being stuck inside because it is A: too cold to go out or B: too much snow to get out!
How I long for days of buckling carseats without sweatshirts, bulky coats, hats, gloves. Who hears me? (Kether...this is NOT you!! :)

I called my mom today and told her we were moving someplace warm. Hawaii, Florida, didn't matter as long as it was warmer than here.

It was such a heatwave today that on the 3 mile trip home from preschool I saw 3 parents pushing their children in strollers. What was the temperature you might ask? It was 30 freaking degrees.

So, today I decided I'm moving. I'm going to find a nice home in Hawaii and pack it all up and forget the snow. What do you say, you with me?

One bright side of living here, I get to go out to dinner tonight with my good friend TKW and my new friend mom underground. I couldn't do THAT in Hawaii now could I? Well, I guess to make myself feel better I could always hook up with some new friends, right?

Monday, February 20, 2006

when did this happen?

I went shopping this weekend by myself. It's always an odd feeling, being by myself. I'm not holding anyone's hand, I'm not pushing a cart or stroller. It feels strange being able to walk through racks of clothing without getting suck.
As I was looking over the rack of clothing, I noticed a group of women, they were probably 20. They were so cute and fresh and young looking.
One of them smiled at me as she passed by, and all of a sudden I realized that I am so different from them.
It's so funny to look back at my life.
I met Dave when I was 18!
I was dating Dave for almost 5 yrs before we got married and then we got pregnant in like 5 months. I was VERY pregnant on our one year anniversary.
I was only JUST 23 when I got married, 24 when I had Logan.
We didn't get to do all the newlywed things...weekends away, sleeping in together, sharing a bottle of wine or two and being all alone to enjoy it.
Not that I think what we did was bad in anyway, just different than what I expected.
So anyway, I look at these girls out having fun with each other and I think of myself.
I have a nice house.
I have a boat.
I have a minivan.
I have 2 children.
I've been married for 5 1/2 years.

How did that happen?
I feel like it has been so long since I was that girl, yet again, like it was just yesterday. That girl that thought about how she looked in the mirror on a regular basis. That girl who on a whim bought that cute shirt that wasn't on the clearance rack. The girl who had thoughts about when she wanted to get married, have children, get a degree.

I still feel like in a way I'm still that young girl! I mean, I am always told I LOOK young, and MANY times I feel like I'm not old enough to be driving my minivan! ha!
In fact, one day when I was out shopping, some really smooth guy yelled out of his car window, "Hey sweet lady, you shouldn't be driving your mom's minivan!!"
I bet he was stunned when I didn't turn around and give him my number, no? Idiot!

It makes me wonder, when those girls walked by, did they think I was old? the same as them?
I'm in that in between stage. The stage where you are in between young and middle. Sometimes I FEEL young, and sometimes I feel annoyed with the young.

It's so strange to think that I'll only be 41 when Logan takes off for college! 44 when Miles does!

So really, I guess I just had an eye opening experience while I was alone.
I have what everyone so desperately wants-at least most everyone!
I feel so lucky for that, but I also wonder what it would be like to be 28yrs old and to go out with the girls, not as a wife or mother, but just as a girl?

Honestly, I would never want anything different than I have now, but you always look at the other persons grass, don't you?

I learned something fun!
Here's a kiss from miles and an introduction from Logan!

Hopefully I did that right!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

The temperature outside is -11 right now.
With the windchill, it feels like -27.
TKW had the right idea when she packed up to go to Texas this week for the Big Blog Blowout, or whatever they are calling it.
It would be the perfect day to stay inside and do nothing except for the fact that I haven't left this house since Wednesday. That outing was only to the doctors and the pharmacy.
I'm sure you can imagine how CRAZY I am going and how much my lungs are BEGGING for some fresh air. Unfortunately, with the weather as cold as it is, I don't think the old lungs will be too pleased!

I watched Wife Swap last night. OK, what a FREAK! I couldn't help but think that she was acting! It's funny how she 'REBUKED the money in the NAME OF THE LORD!" but changed her mind after seeing she got $20,000 for the Gastric Bypass surgery she'd been wanting. So, it's OK to get that from the dark side, right? Imagine how hard she prayed before getting put under.

So, as much as I'd love to go out and have some me fun, I'm off to a preschool festival fundraiser where I'll spend many dollars on stupid games. I'm sure it will be a blast! Luckily Miles gets to stay home nice and warm with Grandpa!

OK, this MUST be the most boring post in the history of boring posts! Must think of something interesting while I"m watching children eat too many sweets and argue over prizes!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Red eye club

Miles and I have pink eye.
Logan has a sty. No pink eye from him...yet.

You can only imagine how fun it is to put in drops 4 times a day in 3 people.
There is crying, begging, stalling, frustration, more crying, cringing, slobbering, loud voices, bribes, threats*...

The East coast had their snow storm last week, this week it's our turn.
12 inches is what I heard last night, mixed with sleet and freezing rain.
All of the schools were closed this morning, which meant Logan didn't have preschool either.
I've decided that today is going to be a relaxing day filled with movies and tent building...and eye drops.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Well, I can't blog about that now, can I?

Today is the day of love. (Gag)
I was driving with Dave yesterday when he did something totally blog-worthy.
I actually used the line, "I'm SO blogging that!"
Where he told me that I shouldn't blog about it because then he'd look like a jerk! ha!
So, here I am debating, do I blog it or not?
About this Valentines thing. I have married THEE most UNromantic man in the world.
He sucks at the whole gift or gesture thing.
He puts too much pressure on himself.
I would be happy if he just told me to go take a hot bath while he fed and put the kids to bed. He thinks I need flowers and candy and a night out and wine and gifts.
No matter how many times I tell him that I am very easy going, he still puts too much pressure on himself and then really sucks bigtime.
I should have known from our first gift giving season together.
We met in May, so I think it must have been Christmas.
Do you know what he gave me?
A stuffed frog. Not just a regular frog. A TREE frog. Stuffed. Like a stuffed animal. That was after dating for 7 months.
Like the good girlfriend I was, I pretended it was great.
How I LOVED the tree frog.
Now that we've been together for almost 10yrs, he knows that the tree frog was a bad idea.
Apparently his personality was more important than his gift giving skills, because I married him.
Along the way I've gotten more bad gifts.
Here's one.
The Oprah weightloss book he got me one year for Valentines day!
Not because he wanted me to lose weight, but because he SWORE that I said I wanted that book. He thought he was giving me something I really really wanted.
What about 2 Christmas's ago when about a month before Christmas I bought a scrapbooking travel bag. I winked and told him it could be my Christmas present.
He took that as his way out apparently, because there wasn't a single gift under the tree for me.
I wasn't as dignified that time though. I was upset, as he was opening his gifts from me.
I decided then that no matter how hard he tried, he'd never get it right.
It's simply because he puts too much pressure on himself!
So, while some hate valentines day, I get kindof excited to think about what on earth he will think I wanted or needed.
So, this morning, as I came down from my shower I see a bag on the counter.
It wasn't a bag with hearts or flowers on, not from my Valentine.
It was a gift bag that I got one of Miles' baby gifts in.
It was a blue bag with a stork on it carrying a baby in his mouth.

He told me to open it, as I was trying to feed Miles.
Very romantic: Having yogurt spit at me while trying to cut up some peanut butter toast.
This is what the card said:

Hey! Let's get naked and watch baseball!
Wait! There's no baseball in February! we're naked with nothing to do....
Happy Valentines Day!

Aww! Isn't it sweet!

I look in the bag at the completely unwrapped gift. Just a box in the bag! No tissue paper to pretend it's wrapped! Seriously, it was so funny.
But to my surprise, I saw something thoughtful! Something nice! Something I knew I'd like when I saw Willow on the box.
Could my husband have really done it right this time?
I got the Willow Together statue.

I love it!
It's totally something that I would pick out and appreciate.
Maybe he's turned a new leaf?
I hope you got something really great, even if it is an evening off from bedtime duty or pizza delivered so you don't have to cook!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Close enough?

"Mom, listen to this nursery rhyme I know..." Logan tells me excitedly.

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pimpled peckers.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pimpled peckers,
how many pimpled peckers did Peter Piper pick?"

Close enough no?
Hmmm...pimpled peckers...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

One must make a lot of money to work

I received some pre-school, pre-K info for a couple local centers yesterday.
As I was looking, jaw dropping at the price of 2 morning/week preschool my eyes fell upon the cost of the daycare portion.
Many things ran through my head.
*It must be a mistake
*Is that per MONTH?
*No...there is NO WAY that can be per week!

So, if I were to go back to work, it would cost us $400/week to send our kids to daycare. $1,600 a MONTH!
Luckily that isn't going to happen, but who can foresee the future, right?
THEN, I saw the before school/after school price.
What they do is watch the kids when you drop them off in the morning, feed them breakfast and load them in the van for school. They then pick up the kids from school and let them hang out until you pick them up after work.
That was $96/week for ONE child.
So, we're still looking at $200 (in today's rates, they will obviously be more in 5 yrs) just for an hour before school and 1 1/2-2hrs after school.
Literally, more than our mortgage (minus taxes).

Full time daycare for 2 kids runs almost $20,000/yr here!

So, how do the people who make $9/hr pay for daycare, rent, gas, bills, food, etc....

I can honestly say that I will not go back to work, at least full time, until my kids are able to come home after school by themselves.
How do people do it?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

You want me to do what?

We have this awesome athletic club in my town.
We used to be members, that is, until we became parents and had other important things to buy. You know, like diapers, formula, wipes...all the things that suck your wallet dry.
One good thing about my husband and I, we're not above doing anything in order to get something in return.
One weekend a month for 4 hrs (2 hrs Fri/2 hrs Sat), Dave and I put the kids to bed, wait for the babysitter, and then head off to the health club to wipe down equipment, do a little vacuuming and clean some windows. In return we get paid (enough to pay the babysitter) and get a free family membership which includes this hot little number we'll make use of this summer:

Could we afford a membership? Yes.
But my question is, why would we pay over $100/mo when we can do it for 2 nights/month.
So, seeing I'm going to be hanging out with the kids at the water park this summer, NOW is the time to whip my body back into shape.
I'm pleased, very pleased with the scale.
The wiggle-not so much.
I decided to put the kids in the nursery for the first time yesterday and take a class. It was called bodystep.
Now, I've never taken a step class before, so I don't know if they are all the same steps each time. If they are new steps each time, then I am one UNcoordinated woman!
Step up with this foot-turn this way-knees up-3 more times! ha! fooled yah!!
And not only do you have to follow what her FEET do, they have ARM movements too!
So, here I am almost tripping over the freaking step, clapping out of order, and DEFINITELY not turning when I was supposed to!
During one water break, I introduced myself to the woman next to me.
"hey! I'm the new one who can't seem to figure my right foot from my left, let alone my hands too!!"
She made me feel much better by telling me that everyone in the room had a first day (or month, as she put it) and that I was really doing awesome.
After 45 minutes, it was time to put our steps away and get mats.
"this is going to be a KILLER!" she warns me.
All of a sudden, I hear my name being called over the loud speaker.
"Please come to the nursery"
I didn't get to find out what the killer was, lucky me.
Miles apparently wasn't too much of a fan of the nursery.
He wasn't crying when I got there, but as soon as he saw me, the drama began. Head flung back, eyes squished closed, but still letting the crocodile tears though.
Pushing away toy after toy, he looked like a football player determined to score a touchdown.
He latched onto my neck, head on my shoulder and I could barely pry him off to get his coat on.
I know I need to make this a routine so it's not a scary thing for him, so this morning I went again.
This time I made it though 40 minutes.
He apparently started crying just a few minutes before I walked in.
Again, another huge squeeze, and yes, some more heartbreaking REAL tears.
The good news is is that he DID play up until then.
I think I'll take tomorrow off, and we'll try again.
Come summer, I'm hoping to be one hot mama!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I mean, really...

If you don't like boogies-don't read.

So, we've got this new habit; a baad habit.

Instance one...
Dave, Logan and I were all on the couch watching a movie.
Logan quickly gets up, walks to the back of the couch, crouches down and comes back to sit down.
As Dave and I share quizzical glances at each other, he finally asks, "Logan, what did you just do?"
"Well, you did something. What did you do?"
"I did nothing, now stop asking me that!"
I chime in "Logan, did you just wipe boogies on the floor behind the couch?"
"Logan, please don't pick your nose, and when you have boogies, please get a tissue, ok?"

Instance #2...
We were all playing in the livingroom. Logan all of a sudden gets up and walks over to the front door rug. He crouches down and then runs back to play.
"Logan, you didn't just wipe boogies on the carpet, did you?"
"yeah....I did..."
"Logan, what did I ask you to do when you had boogies?"
"Get a tissue"
"OK, please get a tissue and wipe your nose"
"but mom, my nose isn't full of boogies anymore!"

Instance #3...
Logan was playing on the computer and I walked by.
He instantly stared at me, not moving.
It's that stare where you know your child is doing something that he/she shouldn't be, you just have to figure out what.
"Logan, what are you doing?"
"Logan, I know what you did, so you better tell me otherwise I'm turning the computer off"
"I was picking my nose"
"Logan! We do NOT pick our nose. If you have boogies, go get a tissue!"
"ok mom, I'll go"

And this my friends is the beginning of boyhood in this house.
Yes, I cleaned up after all of the boogies (that I know of) so don't worry!

Monday, February 06, 2006

surprising reaction

After a tearful plea for sanity on Saturday evening, Dave and I decided that what I needed was a vacation day.
A 'call in sick' day, so to speak.
We arranged for Dave, Miles and Logan to go to his parents for the ENTIRE day.
Meals, naps, play all done over there.
He actually didn't take them until after Miles first nap, but I got to sleep in as late as I wanted.
I was so surprised when I opened my eyes at...are you ready for this...9:45!
Everyone was still home (Miles was still sleeping) so I got a few minutes of family time before I all but carried them all out to the car myself.
10:45, and the house was quiet and peaceful and ALL mine.

I decided to clean for 2 hrs straight. Then, I'd spend no more time working and the rest of the time relaxing.
I got the whole house cleaned, including mopping, dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, etc...
I then decided to go get a yummy sub for lunch and finished it off with the rest of the large piece of chocolate cake** I started the day before.
I did a little blog reading and ebay hunting and decided after that long morning I deserved a nap. A NAP people!
Just as I fell asleep, the phone rang. Damn neighbor! ha!
But never fear, I got back to sleep for about a half hour.
I then decided to go to the health club.
I ran a couple miles and did some weights. I also realized that it was too busy for my liking on Sunday afternoons.
I thought about my boys on the way home. I was so tempted to call and tell them to come home for supper. I talked myself out of it because I figured, I needed this day. This WHOLE day.
I came home, made a baked potato and cheesy broccoli for supper and then thought about my boys some more.
I really missed them.
I picked up the phone to call, but then realized they'd be eating, so I hung up.
I really didn't enjoy the last hour because I couldn't WAIT to hear the garage door open. I couldn't wait to hear about their day!
The quiet that was so nice just hours before had actually turned lonely.
They didn't get home until about 7pm.
I had INSTANT energy.
I snuggled and loved up Miles for about 10 minutes and then put him to bed.
I then spent about 15 minutes hearing all about Logan's day, while snuggling in his bed with him.
After both kids were in bed, I came down to an exhausted husband.
I felt great.
I really did need that day off.
I've never had an entire day.
I finished my day by organizing all of my cardstock. A scrapbooking store went out of business and I actually bought a paper fixture. I have a retail 12x12 fixture in my office. I'm a little obsessed, no?

The funny thing to me though was that I was happy and living in my alone time when all of a sudden it hit me that I was ALONE.
As much as I am depended on, it was so foreign for me to be able to do things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them. I even got to use the bathroom with the door closed. Although, who really cared with my empty house, right?
I thought I'd enjoy the day so much and that I'd want to do it again.
The reality was, I enjoyed it, yes, but it was too much of a good thing.
I guess I'm all talk.
The reality is, I need my boys just as much as they need me.
Isn't that wonderful?

Cake:Logan had a birthday party on Saturday. As Dave and Logan were packing up to go, Logan asked the father, "Can I take a piece of cake home for my mommy? She LOOOVES chocolate cake!!"
OK, say it. I have THEE sweetest boy in the universe.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Aging process

I have heard that they do sleep deprivation to interrogate people.
In my opinion, this is thee best form of torture you can think of.
Ok, so I've not really experienced any other form of torture, but that would be on the top of MY list.
I mean, how long really can you go without good sleep?
Years? Wait, it's already been about 2yrs.
And then I wonder, am I EVER going to sleep soundly again?
This 5ish hours per night is just ever so draining.
Oh, and Dave is going grey. GREY! He's 29. I blame it on lack of sleep!

Another question...those of you who had colicky babies, did they eventually I'm almost to the point to writing to Dr. Phil. My letter would go a little bit like this...

Dear Dr. Phil,
I think you're fantastic. Well, I really don't think THAT highly of you, but if I say so you might be more inclined to help me out with my problem. So, yes, I think you're fantastic. Not only do you help adults with problems, you are also a dating king apparently, or so the commercials say. Oh, and you've also done so much in the potty training world.
Let me ask you very humbly for your advice.
I've got this kid, and he's as cute as a button. The thing is, whenever I'm around he crys and whines like no other child. If I try to cook, he wedges his little 1yr body between me and the counter top and pushes as hard as he can so that I can focus my attention on him. If I pick him up and STAND, he's fine. If I pick him up and SIT DOWN, he freaks. If I sit down on the floor with him to play, he isn't happy unless he's ON TOP OF MY body. He cries when he wakes up 90% of the time. He cries when he is anywhere around me and not ON me.
If we go out, he's fine. If we go to a different house, he's fine. Basically, we can go anywhere and he's a perfect angel child. HERE on the other hand is 100% draining on my body and my emotions.
Now, before you think I pick him up at every whimper, I don't. If I'm cooking, I'll give him some dishes and spoons to keep him busy. Even Logan knows that if Mommy is cooking and Miles is freaking out at her feet, he should find some cool toy to bring over.
I'm not able to cook anything that takes longer than 15 minutes to prepare simply because that's about how long it takes before the crying sounds like it's being sent through a megaphone to my ear drums. My husband comes home from work and I make him take him, although within seconds he's back at my feet crying.
There is no one like Mommy, and while I'm very grateful for that, I'm also at my ropes end.
Is there any hope that we will ever become a peaceful happy family without constant crying and screaming?

What do you think? Would he help? What about YOU, can you help?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A little hobby of mine

I'm a scrapbook lover.
I could scrap ALLLL day if I didn't have the kids to entertain and the laundry and the shopping and the get the point!
So, this weekend I decided to do Miles ABC scrapbook of his first year. I'll do Logan's soon and then my kids can each have a scrapbook to keep. I've decided against doing individual scrapbooks because, well let's face it, they are boys. I know they won't want them when they move out. I'm just doing a familiy scrapbook and they can fight over it when I'm dead!
So, very picture heavy.
A-B is blurry, so instead of forcing you to look through the blur, i'll just skip it. Oh, and it's very basic, nothing too advanced...

And yes, I realized after it was too late that Rolly Polly is spelled like Polly Pockets. Crap. So, my son will think his mom can't spell.