A weekend above all others

When you've gone 2 weeks without really spending any time with your husband, you will try just about anything for some time alone.
Dave's birthday was Thursday. (He came home in time for supper and cake)
Friday he went to work all day and unfortunately this was our weekend to clean the health club. Even if we wanted to go out, we couldn't have.
BUT, Logan had made plans with Grandpa about 4 months ago to go to a train show Saturday afternoon.
One child down.
The other grandparents were kind enough to let child #2 nap at their house.

What did WE do? I sat and read trash magazines, Dave swam and we spent 4 hours out on the boat. Ahhhh!!!

Will I ever be satisfied?

OK, I'll admit.
I have had a million jobs. More jobs than someone should have had at the age of 24. I stopped working right around my 24th birthday. I was 30 weeks pregnant with Logan, and I got laid off of the teacher's aid position at the public school district.
I could have applied for other positions, but I was pretty sure I was going to stay home anyway.
I had preterm labor issues, so we decided to make a clean break.
So, now it's been 5 years.
After highschool, I spent a year and a tri-mester in college thinking I was going to be an elementary school teacher. (I'm really glad I didn't go that route)
I met Dave who lived in a different state and decided that I was going to quit that route and get my cosmetology license.
I spent a little more than a year in cosmetology school. Which, btw, is a full time job. It's not like you have classes at a certain time and you go in here and there. When you are in cosmetology school, you are there M-F from 8:00am-5:00pm and Saturdays 8:00am-12:00pm.
I then held a part time job every day after work as a receptionist at a big salon.
When I graduated, I cut hair for a few years, but decided that I really DID want to be a teacher, but couldn't go back to college. I got an awesome aid position. I worked in a kindergarten class with a teacher who was about to retire. She let me be the teacher mainly.
I LOVED it.
That lead me to the layoff and new job as a full time mom.

Since I've been at home, I've done a few things here and there.
I did Avon for about 9 months or so. When I realized that I was making like $10 a catalog, but spending it on stuff that I didn't need, I decided that I would stop.
I also did home parties with Usborne books. That was fun, but my main goal was to get as many free books as I could. I got a TON of books...Awesome books...for the kids.
The thing is, when parties with my small circle of friends, and THEIR small circle of friends died down, I really didn't want to go market myself.
I was happy with the free books I got and decided to close that chapter.
Then came the idea for our business.
I love doing that! It has been getting lots of fun attention and we're selling shirts! We've got a huge baby expo that we're going to be involved in in September. We're going to be featured in a New Zealand newspaper and our shirts will be in an actual store in NYC.
It's going better than I would have thought.
AND it's great because I have been in charge of everything. It's a great accomplishment!

Dave and I were talking about what I wanted to do with my life someday. He jokes that I don't HAVE to go back to work until he retires at age 50. Then he wants me to work for at least 10 years so that we have insurance. Not a bad trade off!!
The thing is, I'm getting really eager to have something in which someone gives me a job and expects me to do it. I want responsibility. I want respect.**
This of course is not a new thing for me.
The problem is, is I don't know whether I would be happy working part time (I wouldn't work full time, at least right now) or if I would regret it and miss my kids too much!

Then comes the whole, what will I do with my life when the kids go to school.
I know some of you know that I'd like to get into the nursing field.
Heck, if I could turn back time, I would have studied harder when I was younger and went into the medical field. But, we all know you can't turn back time.

For those SAHM's, so you ever get in this slump? Especially those of you who actually have left a 'career'? I didn't really do that. I didn't go to school for 4-6 years after highschool. I didn't leave a field that I couldn't just pick up when I chose to.

I'm sure this too shall pass. And I'm sure I'm not alone.


**I know I have respect. I as well respect other SAHM's, OK?

I started dating Dave in his teen's, spent his entire 20's with him and now get to watch him turn 30 today.

We've certainly been blessed beyond words.

Happy Birthday Dave!

Turn your head and be afraid

My little Kung Fu Fighter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w2FY3_i2v0

Some local news

How many of you have heard of Winky the elephant?
I grew up going to see Winky, as well as the other animals at the zoo as a child.
I remember being glad when the elephants were moved. There wasn't much room at this zoo, and I knew they were going to a bigger better place. (Unlike the small monkeys which were sent to research. I still haven't gotten over that one)

Yesterday when I was driving, I heard the radio DJ's half way joking about Winky KILLING his caretaker. I thought they were joking, but it turns out, they weren't.

Check out this beautiful memorial.
She was so young.
Winky will not be put down. I must say, I'm glad about this. But then again I'm really not a circus/zoo type person. I think it's horribly awful to think about these wild animal stuck behind a fence.

I'm not sure if this is national news.
Imagine, you are 16 years old. You are in labor. So much must have lead a 16 yr old child to decide to give birth. There are many 16 year old girls who get pregnant who do not choose to have the baby. She did.
You go to the hospital. There are 2 main hospitals here that you can give birth in. One doesn't seem better than the other really. Depending on which insurance you have, you don't get the choice really.
She went here.
She was supposed to receive penicillin in her IV. The nurse made a mistake and put in the epidural medication in her IV.
20 minutes later she had a seizure.
She later died.
Her baby survived.
Read the news article here.
I can't imagine how heartwrenching this must be for her family.
Obviously this hospital is in major trouble, and Medicare/Medicaid are threatening to back out of their hospital.

"We have determined that the deficiencies are so serious they constitute an immediate threat to patient health and safety."

Can you imagine being 9 months pregnant and knowing that you have to deliver at this hospital any day?

Addiction

Remember when I told you about getting cable? How I was completely blown away by how much there was to watch?
Well, I'm basically over it.
I do enjoy the TLC though, very much. (Except, I tuned in for the Messengers last night and actually turned it after 25 minutes. I wanted more of the 'experience' and not the speeches. I guess I didn't know that's what it was about??)

Well, the addiction has been passed from me to Logan.
BIG time.
All he ever wants to do is watch TV. From the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed.
Now, I obviously don't let him do that, but if I said YES, he would gladly sit his butt on that floor the entire day. I'm sure he'd skip meals even.

See, before we had cable, we had PBS. The poor 4 yr old was stuck watching Barney or Dragon Tails. Both fine shows, but not for a 4 yr old boy. He'd get bored, and do other things.
Now there are Power Rangers and 'Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!' (I shit you not. That is the name of the show-say that four times fast)

The schedule goes a little like this.
7:30 Logan gets one show
8:00 Miles gets Sesame steet, but I'd say he only watches about 15 minutes out of the whole thing.
**TV OFF**

2:00 Logan usually gets two 30min shows while Miles is sleeping so I can get a few things done. (aw crap. That sounds like I'm letting the TV babysit. Call the authorities)

TV OFF for the rest of the day, UNLESS I have a screaming child at my leg while I'm making dinner. THEN a 40 minute Wiggle tape goes in.

The kid isn't overweight. He'll drop EVERYTHING to go outside and play with the neighbors. The thing is, when we're INSIDE, he feels he should only watch TV. Screw the toys. (Anyone need anything? I could probably give you a great deal!)

Is my kid the only one?
How do you handle the addiction?

So, I just wanted to update that I am indeed alive and well.
I have an appt on Monday for my hernia. The nurse DID say that it could be a pocket of fluid. This was after she said all was fine because my incision wasn't bleeding. I don't think that she understood that there were TWO set of stitches-one on my SKIN and one inside my body. Maybe that's why she's not the doctor.
I really just think that I hit a brick wall the other day.
I felt like this surgery was totally rushed, and while that might have been OK, it wasn't. It wasn't because Dave had 2 weeks planned to be away from his brand new job. He couldn't accept the position and that say, 'oh wait, I can't go to training', you know?
So, by the 3rd day after my surgery he was gone, and I was in charge. Sure, I had my sister come late Sunday, but it wasn't like I had any time to recover.
So what I really think was that I never really got over the surgery before I was flown head first into being home again without Dave.
We were so happy to hear that his class is taking a day off on Sunday, so it looks like he'll be home ALL day on Sunday. You have no idea how good that will feel.
I did a little calculating by going back in the calendar and realized that Dave has been gone over 7 weeks this year and it's only half way through. And we have another 3+ that are scheduled in the next 3 months. That will be 10+ weeks gone by October.
As in 2 1/2 months gone.
As in 2 1/2 months that I have been home alone with the kids from the minute they woke up to the minute they went down and every hour in between.
As in 2 1/2 months that I've gone to bed alone, and woken up alone.
2 1/2 months of the kids life that Dave has missed this year.
I think by realizing that it was just emotional.
And of course I realize that it's tough on him too. It's not just me who is going to bed alone.

I'm just so happy that he got this new job. The farthest he'll have to travel is 2 hrs away. (That is after his initial training and meetings out of the are)
No weekends, no nights, no constant 'on call'.

My neighbor gave me what I think she meant as a compliment the other day.
"You have mastered the art of single parenting"
Mastered? Well, not so much. But I have gotten pretty good at it. And no matter what I think now, I'm pretty proud of myself. It's all about easy. Easy meals, staying busy, compromising and getting out of the house multiple times a day.
Let me tell you, for any single moms reading this, you have NO IDEA how much credit I give you.

In happier news, Miles can really REALLY say 'mama' and mean it.
Now he says:

Mama
Dada
Papa(grandpa)
Pama(grandma)

Not quite like the list of some of the other blogger babes, but it is SOOO good to hear.

The irony

I'm sitting here singing in my mind a song that Logan has been obsessed with lately.
The refrain goes:
"It's a beautiful day, for running in the sun. A beautiful day, and I want to share it with you..."

I'm going to share this beautiful day with you.
Oh, and forewarning in case I know you and you think I am sweet, I'm going to cuss like a sailor. Sorry, today is a day it must be done.
We'll start at about 12:30 this morning...like midnight 12:30.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and before you even move you know you have a stomach bug. Your stomach is churning and you realize that you can not just roll over and go back to sleep.
I spent 4 hours going from the bed to the toilet to the floor in the bathroom, back to the bed, back to the toilet. I won't get any more involved, but lets just say it sucked. It was a good thing I didn't have that epidural with Miles because I would have said it was as bad of pain as labor. But, not having the epi with him, I know it wasn't THAT bad. I did have some labor breathing involved though, if you must know.
In between all of the trips, we had a storm from hell and I was praying that one of the kids didn't wake up. They didn't, thank you Jesus. I have no idea how they slept through it all. It was so loud that IF Miles would have started crying, I would have had no clue even though his door is right outside my door. So, add in trips in the hallway making sure no one was awake too terrified to cry out.
Finally at 4:30 I fell asleep for the night.
In the morning (as if I really slept at all, Miles was up at 6:00am) I weighed myself and realized that I lost 5 lbs in the middle of the night. OK, so one good thing came from it all.
As I was getting dressed, I noticed something strange. My hernia incision was...buldging.
Even though I pressed a towel hard against my stomach in the midst of the night's purging, I think I blew the mother fucking stitches. ONE week after surgery.
Fuck.

After we said our goodbyes, my sister left at noon today.
I decided that it was a good day to take Miles to get his 18 month portraits done seeing he's pushing 19months.
Do you know what I hate the most about going to places like Sears and Penneys? The fact that they DON'T listen.
"I'm really easy. I want plain backgrounds-no pattern or prints. I'd rather not have any props. If you must have a prop, a chair would be OK, but nothing white. (I see white chairs and think girl plus I really like the pictures to be of the child, not the ugly ass sand toys that don't match the outfit or the completely stained gross teddy bear that isn't his) I don't want columns or numbers. As soon as ONE GOOD PICTURE is taken, we're good. I'm getting the package and I only want ONE GOOD PICTURE."

So, when picture number 2 was perfect and I said "GREAT! Let's be done!" please tell me why she says, "sorry, but we have to take 6 pictures at the minimum."
"So, after asking Logan for the umpteenth time to sit down and stop throwing teddy bears at his brother, I preceded to grab Miles and bring him back to the floor approximately 17 times. Do you know what picture I ordered. Number 2.
The sweat, tears, frustration was a complete waste of my time.
Good news is is that the picture is DAMN cute and I can't wait to get them.

I want Dave to come home. I don't want to have another surgery.
I don't want to take Logan to the opthamologist appt tomorrow, but it is part of his yearly regimen to monitor his brain cyst growth. I know it will be fine, I just don't want to watch him cry when he realizes he needs eye drops.
If I were a smoker, today would be the day that I'd be out on the deck.
Instead, I put the kids to bed and had a healthy supper consisting of Cocoa Puffs, thank you very much.

Here's to tomorrow truly being a 'beautiful day'!

Anyone else melting?

I seriously can't believe how hot it's been this week. Closing in on 100 here a few days ago.
Miles has had a permanent heat rash, I'm bored out of my mind from staying inside too much, and I'm guessing our water bill is going to be sky high from filling the baby pool up every day.
The visit with my sister is about to end. I'm going to be 100% on duty as of tomorrow noon.
A full week early from what my post surgery rules said, but truely, it's for the best. I'd elaborate, but it's best not to.
I'm ready to lay on the floor in my jammies all morning sipping coffee and listening to sibling fueding. Did you realize that my kids are already at the age where they argue? What's even more interesting is that the one who CAN'T speak is usually the loudest out of the two.

Exciting business news...we've been accepted into this store in NYC...Trunkt.
It's quite the compliment and we're very excited, of course!

Pale is the new tan

OK, I'll admit it. There is no such thing as too much sunscreen in this house. The higher the SPF, the better.
My kids know, BOTH of my kids know that they do not go outside with out the sunscreen.
Logan has come up with a fitting term.
He does a little karate move and announces in his coolest 'bad guy' voice: "Invisible shield...Check!"

I lather them up so good they have a slight tint of white at all times in the summer.
I've heard that you should imagine a shot glass full of sunscreen and apply that much.
I do that and more.
I never wait more than an hour to re apply.
If they get dropped off at a grandparents house, I always bring the sunscreen and remind them before I leave to put it on. If I call to check up on them, I always add, 'don't forget sunscreen'

It is my LIFE GOAL to prevent a single solitary sunburn in their entire childhood life. I know I'll not have control when they get older, but hopefully because of my diligence, they'll not be stupid.

Now, I wasn't always so bright. Well, I guess I was pretty bright. I have had way more than my fair share of sunburns.
Scalding blistering burns. Sunburns that hurt like a....well, you know.
Being a red head-full with freckles and fair skin, I've not been as lucky as most when it comes to tanning.
I've really never been tan except that time I went in the spray on booth. That was fun and all until I started looking like I had leprosy when it starting coming off my feet and hands.

I once heard that having ONE blistering sunburn can increase your skin cancer chance by 50%.
I don't fair so well in that category.
I don't think there was such a thing as sunscreen in my home growing up.
Here are some great facts if your interested...

I put on just as much on myself than I do on my kids. When we're out in the boat, I'm always thinking I forgot some place on my body so I'm ALWAYS adding more.
I use the same SPF as the kids.

Dave prefers a lower SPF, and he's got that lucky tanning ability. Although I also read on one of those links that I posted that some doctors look at tanning as the body's reaction to injury.

Don't get me wrong, I like a little color. I like it when my freckles 'pop' so that I look a little sun kissed.
What I DON'T understand is when people who shall remain nameless...(my sister) goes out with NO sunscreen. NONE.
She lathers up the kids and goes out to get burned.
She's a fellow redhead, just not one that burns as easily.
She's still fair skin/freckled.
She's still back in the belief that tan is 'in' and the more she roasts herself and the more burns she gets the tanner she'll become.
This coming from someone who's soon to be husband's mother (did you catch that?) had melanoma.
Smart, ey?

So, I think I'm going to be purchasing this shirt, what do you think.

My kids are better than your kids...

You see this title and you think to yourself, 'Yeah RIGHT! MY kid is better than yours!'

Well, let me claim this title. You don't want it anyway.

My kids are the most whiney kids EVERRRRRRR!

Seriously, in this house, mom can't ever go on hiatus.
Miles wakes up saying, 'MA MA!' (He can say mama!! did I tell you that?!)
Dave walks in as happy as can be and instant tears.
Tears through the diaper changing, tears through the visit with mommy, tears through breakfast.
Miles is heartbroken that I am not getting him out of bed. He's fine until he
A:see's me
B:hears me
C:remembers that I'm in the room with the closed door.


Logan has decided that if Mom is on break for a few days that he just doesn't have to listen period.
"NO!"
"NO NO NO!!"

You know, I never got that from him when he was 2 yrs old. I always listened to my friends tell me how their 2 yr old always says, 'no'.
Hm..I thought...I must just have a great kid.

Yeah, well, I DO have a great kid, but he wasn't stupid. He saved up those 'no's' for the age when he really knew how to use them to get under the skin of his parents.

Dave takes of early early early in the morning. Like too early to even do more than grunt when he says goodbye.
I'll be in charge of getting Miles out of his crib. Not really supposed to be doing that for um...10 more days, but no one else is here to do it, so I gotta do it.
I think the boys will spend the day with my MIL tomorrow. I'm hoping.
Luckily my sister is coming to spend a few days with me tomorrow evening.
That will either be really fun, or really REALLY bad.
My sister definitely have a love-hate relationship.

Wish me luck!
I'll try to visit my entire blog roll this week. Look for a reply!

ouch

I'm recovering today.
Yesterday was surgery.
I'm doing better than I had planned, but still have quite a bit of pain.
Luckily I have vicoden to keep on top of that!
Dave's doing great with the kids, and I'm seriously just being lazy!

I have LOTS to blog about though, so I hope tomorrow I'll be up to that!

G'night! :)

Celebration

I lived it up this weekend at a friends wedding. I had 2 whole days sans children to eat, drink and sleep when I chose.
Well, OK, we dropped them off mid morning and headed off to Chicago for the wedding. We hung out with old friends and drank way too much wine.
We danced until they kicked us out and went out for more fun.
Finally, we collapsed in our bed at 2:30am. And, we were the first to come home. Others didn't get to the hotel until 4:30.
I had SO.MUCH.FUN!
I guess a little too much, as Sunday I wound up going to the ER with massive stomach pain in my hernia. Surgery has been scheduled for this Wednesday.(as in 2 days)
It's all just bad timing as Dave is about to leave for 2 weeks, my MIL for 1 week and my sister has a job interview that may want her to start immediately.
What do you do when you're told you can't lift your baby for 2 weeks when no one is here to help.
Yeah, I don't know either.
I'm trying really hard not to freak, but freaking is about to happen I believe.

But oh, I had so much fun.

Speech Eval

We had the follow up meeting with Miles Speech and Language Pathologist this morning.
It appears that Miles is 32% delayed in expressive speech. Expressive speech is his only delay. In fact, he's quite advanced when it comes to other areas of development. As high as 27 month olds in some aspects.
Because of the 32% delay, we are eligible for state assistance.
What this would mean is that a SLP would come out to our home as much as once a week and as little as once a month to help us help Miles.
But, we learned something pretty interesting.
Children who have only expressive speech delays almost always are on par with peers by the time they go to Kindergarten.
Seeing Miles has only an expressive delay, we're pleased to hear this.

We've decided to forgo assistance, with the knowledge that we can call upon it when ever we feel the need.

If there are any late talkers out there, I highly recommend having them evaluated if it's possible. Instead of making me more nervous, it make me feel much better. Each state offers free evaluations!
----
Today is the big news day!
AHHHHHH!
Let's hope I don't make a fool of myself.
What on earth are they going to talk about for 2 1/2 minutes with us.
I'm not sure we're that exciting....wait, I'm POSITIVE that we're not that exciting.

Some advice from me to you...

You think it's a good thing to join a boot camp to whip your post partum ab's into shape.
You go, completely embarrassed that you can only do 19 full situps while everyone else is waaay higher than you.

You continue to go while you learn how to do an '8 count abdominal killer'. Your happy with 5 out of the 8 count, even though you hear the fit chick next to you say, 'that's not bad, that's pretty easy!' (bitch)

You find a modification because you can't get the ab moves they are doing, and you're starting to feel like the special one in the class. The one that the instructor keeps saying, 'Jen, more like this...Jen, lift those abs...Jen, you can do it! Keep it up! Just ONE more!'

You secretly think, what does this 25yr old MAN know about having children and ruining a perfectly good set of abs. NOTHING! Yet, you truck on knowing this is going to be the first step to the pre pregnancy abs.

You work SO hard, sweating your butt off.

You notice one night that you have a bit of a buldge above your belly button. The next night you notice that buldge has gotten bigger.

That buldge, you find out, is an umbilical hernia caused by defective ab muscles that were over worked.

So, all that good hard work really accomplished a trip to the doctor with a referral to a surgeon.
Yep, I get to have surgery all because I wanted flat abs.

Do ya think they can add in a tummy tuck while they are at it? THAT would make it all worth it.