Who will he become?
This morning, as I dropped Logan off at school, things were different.
The problem with having Logan go to a preschool inside of a daycare is that when school is out, the school agers are there. This hasn't happened yet seeing Logan only goes tues-thursday mornings for 2 hrs, but today we walked into a group of very tall, very loud, very rowdy boys.
And there is my sweet little Logan overwhelmed.
The line leader yelled at Logan for standing in front of him (which when you're 6 or 7 being the LINE leader is like being president for the day! Logan on the other hand wanted to stand there so that he could wave to me as I was walking down the hall.)
Then, as I was putting Miles back into the car, I saw the class go outside to play. They usually do circle time and art right away, but seeing the big kids were there I figured that the teacher just wanted them to run out their energy first thing.
I sat in my van and watched for a minute or two and left in tears. All the kids BURST out the doors and headed for the playground equiptment and started laughing and yelling and playing.
My Logan, he stood on the patio by the teachers. He picked up a rock and showed the teacher the rock. He kicked the rock a bit with his foot. He had no other children around him to play with, and he didn't initiate any play. I backed up watching him playing with a rock. All the kids were having fun and he was playing with a rock.
It made me sad, and made me wonder what he will be like when HE is one of the big kids.
Logan is not shy...to us. Logan IS shy to others for awhile but when he gets to know you he instantly will be your friend forever! He gets along with bigger people better than kids his age. He's very brillant, if I do say so myself. He's always been smart when it comes to knowledge, but very slow when it comes to physical play. He knew all his letters by 15 months, the same age that he took his first steps.
He knows more spanish than I do, and has the memory unlike anyone I know.
We got an email easter card that has a rabbit dancing type of a song. We got the same one last Easter. He thought it was fun then so we watched it a bunch of times over a week long period before I deleted it. This year when we got it, he said, "we've seen this one before!" And he knew the words and beat.
He remembers people, places, farm equiptment (yes, we live in farm land)
When we read him a story, if we miss a word or forget to add an 's' at the end of a word, he notices and lets us know we did it wrong. 2 weeks ago I realized he knew how to write every single letter, and I never taught him. He wrote 'Logan' "mommy' 'daddy' and 'miles'. I was shocked! (i told him how to spell all but his name)
He doesn't do the typical running on the playground at the park. He takes his time, is very slow at the stairs and is very calm. I don't think I'll be one of those parents taking their children to the hospital with a broken arm from falling off the slide. He always puts 2 feet in front and never would think about going head first. He's very calm. I'd absolutely never have to worry about him running off in the mall or the grocery store. He would NEVER step in the street without holding my hand. He's been a VERY easy child to parent.
So while WE love his little quirks, and I'm sure the teachers will, what about the kids. I'm afraid Logan is going to be one of those children the others find 'different'. I was a kinder assistant teacher while pregnant with Logan and we had two of these types of boys in my class. Two. They were best friends. What if Logan doesn't have anyone else like him?
I see amazing potential in him. I think he will do great things. We were listening to some Ben Harper yesterday and the song, 'my own two hands' was on. (anyone know it?)
He sang the lyrics all day. Here are some of them...
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I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make a better place
With my own two hands
Make a kinder place
Oh- with my
Oh- with my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
Oh- with my own two hands
I can reach out to you
Oh- with my own two hands
I'm gonna make it a brighter place
With my own
I'm gonna make it a safer place
With my own
I'm gonna help the human race
With my own
With my own two hands
Now I can hold you
With my own two hands
And I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you got to use
Use your own two hands
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Its strange what we think the future of our children will bring when they are so young. Of course being a mother, Logan's mother, I can see that he could change the world...a small part of the world at least. In fact, he already has to those who know him. I'm just fearful the the world might change him.
I'm not really sure what I wanted to get out of this post...but you now know a little more about my first born...