When you arrive at the gym at 5:15 to go to a class you've never been to before, there's always a bit of awkwardness.
It could be the fact that you should still be SLEEPING, or it could just be the fact that everyone else in the class is a regular, and you are not.
Today was RPM. It's a spinning type class.
I've never taken a cycling class before, but it's just a stationary bike! How hard can it be?
This is a quote from the description:

RPM/Cycling is a fun, athletic, cardiovascular cycling workout that kills calories in record time - up to 900 in a single class. It's a team cycling experience that incorporates the best of indoor cycling and motivational coaching techniques. And it's suited for any age and any fitness level

Any age and any fitness level. Perfect.

First, you must wheel your bike into the classroom. The only problem I found was that I could only move the bike inches at most. How the hell were these people getting these heavy ass things in the room? Luckily some 60+ish old woman helped me.(In case you are ever in the predicament, you must really PUSH the handle bars down to your knees. Very easy to push then. I'm just not functional at 5:15am)
I think to myself, if SHE can do this class and help me carry the bike, I'm set.
THEN, I look around and think how screwed I am.
The class is not full of the same women that attended the class I took yesterday.
Nooooo, oh no.
THIS class was full of MEN.
30-somethings full of muscle and strength.
Each with a towel to wipe the sweat. (ew)

Let's just say that my ass has to adjust to sitting on a hard bike seat.
NOT fun.
Let's also say that it was NOT easy.
The fact that I was scared to get OFF the bike because I didn't know if my legs would actually hold my weight is a good indication of how the class went.
The fact that I was thinking that maybe a sweat towel would be a good thing to bring next time is also an indication of the work that was involved. Sweat towels to me are the most disgusting thing in the world.

So, 2 days down, 3 to go!
I was surprisingly happy after class today. But I still needed my java afterwards!!

Why I could never be a worker bee anymore

I've got this BAAAAAD issue with waking up for a certain reason.
If I've got an appointment, a vacation, a guest visiting early I can never get a good nights sleep.
I go to bed early, toss and turn and then get mad at Dave when he falls asleep first even though I went to bed an hour earlier than him.
If I had to get up for an important career, I'd never make it. Unless it was in an office that offers naps.

For some unknown reason I've gained about 5 pounds in the last month.
I'm pissed about it, of course.
I've done nothing to entice the weight loss. I've basically eaten the same.
The only thing that I have done the same that would be the reason for the weight gain is a whole hell of a lot of nothing.
I'm not very physical.
I like to sit.
Sure, I'll dance along to the wiggles here and there with the kids, but really, I'd prefer to sit on the couch and watch.
Obviously I could only keep my nice 1-teens for awhile with my lack of drive.
It's alllll over.

Now, seeing I'm nearing my 30's, I realize that it won't be as easy to keep in shape with little exercise. I've made another life altering decision. (Gosh, seriously, first it's the laundry, then the budgeting, now this. I think I'm undertaking too much)
From today on out, I am taking a 5:30am class at the health club.

Today it was Body Pump.
Tomorrow it will be RPM.
Wednesday it will be Body Step.
Thursday I think it will be RPM again. (They SAY you can burn up to 900 calories a class!)
Friday, Body pump again.

I've gotta boost my body into gear.
How do I feel right now at 8:09?
TIRED as hell. But good! And proud! And enjoying my coffee.
I figure that many people have to wake up at 5:00am every day to get ready for work, then their kids ready and then out the door. Who am I to think I deserve to sleep until 6:30 every morning?
I've heard that it takes a month to get your body used to a new habit.
So, basically this month will sort of suck.

But, I'm determined this time. This time I have no excuses.
My excuse before was that Miles flips out every time I put him in the daycare. This time he's at home happily sleeping.
What I need to do is look at it like ME time. I need to realize that yes, it's early, but it's THEE only time that I will be able to go and know that I'll be able to finish the entire class without getting called out by daycare.
I can concentrate on ME, and not stress about hearing my name on the loudspeaker.

So, I slept like crap last night because I was anxious. I hope that feeling goes away soon.
Today, I'll need a nap!

Budgeting

I have another confession:I hate money.

OK, not really hate MONEY, but I hate talking about money and what we have and don't have and what we save and don't save and what we should spend and save and.....AHHHHH!

I'd rather cover my ears and sing 'la la la la la' over and over until Dave shuts up!

Now, I've never been an over spender. We always pay our credit card at the end of each month. We are very careful with our money. We spend wisely.
Money talk just stresses me out to no end.
We've tried the writing down every penny we spend for a month to see what we waste our money on, but we always quit half way through.

We used to balance our checkbooks regularly, but then came the invention of debit cards and on line banking. You want to know what you have spent and what you have left, you see it all on line down to the penny.
It must be so strange to be a teenager these days. No checkbooks, no saving receipts, no REAL math to do. It's all done for you.

But with Dave's new job and a new income, it's time for us to really see what we spend our money on each month.
Kether posted a great free budgeting software program the other day and I had to try it out.
It's GREAT!
I made different entries: mortgage; gas; groceries; walmart/target; water and light; etc....that and added in all of September and October.
I was embarrassed to say the least at how much money we spend on takeout alone. And the sad thing is is that it's not fun family dinners out either, it's subway on a Saturday afternoon or a pizza on a Friday night. Add in the Mc'D's on occasion and we've got TOO much money going to take out.
It went from "ACK! Money talk!" while running to the next room to, "we spend HOW much on WHAT!?" with the true desire to know!

The funny thing is that I did this all without Dave knowing. I'm so psyched for him to get home and see just what I started. He'll be so proud! ;)

I'm curious about your budget. Are you up to date with just how much you are spending on things like take out and Target trips? Do you give yourself an allowance each month? I know that that works for some people, would it work for you? If I knew I had so much money a week to spend on whatever I wanted, would I be so quick to drive through a drive through on a busy day? Or would I perhaps make a quick meal and hang on to that for a coffee treat or new shirt?

Man, laundry and budgeting all in one week. What's wrong with me! :) (And Simone, you totally have me beat. What are you going to do when the baby comes?!?)

a bit embarrassing, but I'll admit it anyway

Once upon a time, a long long time ago I had a baby who loved to sit in his bouncy seat. He'd sit there, happily hitting little toys while I'd do things around the house. As long as he was near me, he'd be happy and I'd be happy.
One memory I have is totally cleaning out the hall closet and putting it all back together, in order.
I had time to cook, clean and organize as well as play with a happy baby.
Then baby number 2 came along and the bouncy seat was about as useless as I would later find out the exersaucer would be.
I learned that while baby A loved a little bit of independence, baby B loved the smell of his mommy.

Since I succumbed to his wishes, the housework slowly got forgotten.
Sure, I'd go on little tangents here and there when Dave was home and would clean freakishly for a good hour or two and get it back into 'ok, 2 kids live here' status.

One thing that I really REALLY let fall behind is the laundry. See, we live in a tri-level house. What that means is that our bedrooms/bathrooms are on the top floor, then a half stairs brings you to our livingroom/kitchen (the main walkout level) then a half stair brings you to the 2nd livingroom/office (bedroom) and bathroom and the 3rd and final half stair brings you down to our basement/playroom/laundry room.
That's 3 flights of stairs (OK, only HALF stairs, but still) that I have to carry laundry down to. And of course, I can't carry laundry down while baby B is awake because he will scream and cry because I left him.
Best to wait until the weekends and do it all then.

That worked fine until the weekends got so full that I never had the time to do all of the laundry during the weekend. I'd forget something was in the wash and then I'd have to start all over again.
I was in a bad vicious laundry cycle.
And we all hate laundry, so to be in a bad laundry cycle is just no good at all my friends!!
Then, the really bad part was, I'd do 5 or 6 loads, fold it all and put it back in the baskets. Kether, I know we have this in common. No one was looking in their DRAWERS for their clothes. They were asking, "Which basket has the socks in it?"
THAT is not how I want my boys to do their laundry when they get older, and that is not how I want my house to run.

Something clicked in my brain this week because I've finally decided that I don't want to go back to the 'OK, this house has 2 kids' sort of house.
I got all the laundry done this weekend, and I mean all! Comforters and all. And even more of a shocker was that instead of waiting until all the baskets were full of clean folded clothes, I put them away right after each load was done. (just like I'm sure you all do, right!) It takes much less time putting away a load vs. 6 loads! (sarcastically speaking)
Since then, I've done 1 or 2 small loads a day, and immediately put them away, and our bedroom is so SO clean. No more living out of baskets!
Logan went to get his socks today and couldn't find them. You should have seen the amazement on his face when I told them they were in his drawer! :)

Hey, I never said I was a super mom. I'm trying though.

confidence

Do you have it in your walk or not?

This weekend my husband played in a Racquetball tournament. (Didn't go well. Turned into the day he broke his goggles with his racket. Don't ya just love men and sports?)

I only was able to attend one match, but while I was waiting, I saw all sorts of women. Some thin, some not so thin, some tall, some short.
All the same, all different.

What I noticed was the confidence that some women had in their step.
There were those who didn't have the confidence, and you could tell as they tried hard to stay out of anyones way. They apologized for stepping in the same spot as someone else. They avoided eye contact. They looked uncomfortable standing in one spot, alone, as if they were being watched. They fidgeted with their hair a lot.

Then, there were others who were perfectly happy to be alone walking around, scoping out the scene. They were dressed nicely, they had nice shoes, (oh the things I notice) and they really seemed put together. Inside and out really.
They didn't stick out. They blended in with the crowd and didn't really care to notice if anyone was watching.

Now, of course I'm just a spectator in this and am only making opinions on how I thought the women felt. More like what I felt when I watched them.

This brought me to really think about how I feel.
Am I eluding confidence in my step?
Absolutely not.
I am one of those who feel uncomfortable walking through a crowd.
I fix my hair. I find a nice empty part of the wall and stay out of the way.
Now, I am much better than I once was, yet I still need to work on it.
I am very able to walk into a group of women and start a conversation. 10 years ago, I would never have been able to do that.

What makes a woman feel confident in herself?
And it's not about being thin or tall, because many of these women weren't the thin tall people you might be picturing. Yet, they had the confidence that I would like more of.

Is it the clothes, the shoes?
Doubt it, however, I would really feel more confident if I could get a much needed updated wardrobe. Wait, do I mean confidence or simply happier?

Is it money?
Tough call? We are (heck, OK, Dave is) making more money today than we ever have, so I don't think that is it. Plus, I know many a confident person who doesn't make a boatload of money.

It's obviously something that is on the inside.
Do you have it on your inside?

I'm working on it.

The tale of the mammogram

Let's just say I wasn't particularly excited about this appointment.
But, the time came and off I went. Hey, it was a childless excursion, it couldn't be all that bad! Am I the only one who shows up to appts a little early when I don't have the kids. I can sit and READ a MAGAZINE!
Heavenly!

So, let's just say that any fear I had that my ladies were too small for the machine just were plain wrong.
My small B's fit just fine.
And boy are you surprised at how flat a pair of small B's can REALLY get. To be a fly on the wall for a DD appointment!
Now, pregnancy didn't leave them all that perky, heck, not perky at all...but I was REALLY thinking that after this test, they small amount of 'perk' would all but disappear.

They did 4 angles of 'smooshing' on each side as well as taped a 'b-b' to the lump.
I then had an ultrasound done, which took all of 30 seconds. I think that there could have been a little bit more time taken on that one, but whatever.
The good news is, even though there is a 2cm size lump that is very much present, it appears to be plain old normal breast tissue.
No cysts, no tumors, no cancer.

I do need to start my regular screenings at age 35 though, do to the breast cancer in my family. With any luck, I won't be back there for another 6 years!
:)

Guess what I just saw mom?

The sleepwalking thing is getting REAAALY old.
I'm debating getting a big belt and tying him into bed at night. Soft restraints maybe? DRUGS?
Seriously, imagine always having one ear open waiting to hear the squeaking of the bed or the pitter patter of footsteps that have no idea where they are going.
That is our every night.
Last night he got up and wandered in the kitchen.
I put him back in bed only to 30 seconds later her him wandering in the kitchen again. Put him back in and again 30 seconds later I heard him in the kitchen again!
2 hours later, I woke up to the squeaking of the bed and found him just standing in the hallway staring blankly ahead.
I again got him settled in bed and finally fell deep asleep.
Imagine how hard I jumped when I felt breathing on my cheek.
Logan was standing there waiting for my eyes to open.
He was wide awake.
I looked at the clock.
1:12am

"Mom. Guess what I just saw? Another YOU! She was standing at my door and walked over to my bed. She then whispered to me that it was time for something, but she didn't tell me what it was time for. She then walked over to my window and is waiting there for me to fall asleep!"

It's so strange when kids have dreams that freak you out.
So, is Logan hearing 'me' tell him it's time to get up and walk around? I don't know.
I put him back in bed and luckily he slept for the rest of the night.

I kept my ears open for the other 'me' walking around, but I'm happy to say she didn't come back.

The life of a King

When Dave and I first started sleeping in the same bed, we were all cuddly. I'd sleep in his shoulder, he'd wrap his arms around me. I'm not sure we did much actual SLEEPING, because really, who can sleep all tied up.
It was nice though, then.
Fast forward 10 years and you have us now.
I'm 5'3" and he's 6'2". I take up WAY more room than he does.
When he sleeps with his arms over his head, I put them back down.
Really, do I really need to smell his armpit while I'm sleeping? I think not.
When I'm too far over on his side, he pushes me back over. Granted, he's way more nice about it than I am.
When we were bed shopping, we had to decide if we were going to go for the normal Queen or if we wanted to upgrade to the King size.
With much thought, we decided to go with the King.
We were afraid it would look too big in our average size room, but it really doesn't.
Let me tell you how life has changed.

I won't say we're sleeping more, because our almost 2 year old is waking up crying every single night...a couple times each night. That's a whole other post with the dilemma of CIO at almost 2. Again.
And I can't say that our bodies are more rested in the morning, yet. We do feel like it will happen, but the bed guys say it takes a good couple of weeks.
The thing that is so grand about our new sleeping situation is the fact that we have an extra 16 inches of space.
Dave is now allowed to sleep with his arms over his head.
I'm allowed to sleep with my legs in any position I might come up with.
We can choose to cuddle for a few minutes in the middle, and then go right back to our own space.
THIS is what sleep is supposed to be like people!

I will NEVER have a queen size bed again!

So, the moral of the story is:
If you need to go mattress shopping in the future, just go with the King.
You and your spouse will be MUCH happier!

Anyone else SOOO not ready for winter?
We went from summer to winter.
Why do I even LIVE in the Midwest?
---------------------------------
Target lovers, this is for you:

"Miles, we're at target! Can you say TARGET?"

"Gaa-hoo"

"YAY! Target! Good baby!!"

Teaching him early!
---------------------------------

So, what do you do when your sweet little almost 5 year old starts telling you stories about being pushed down-on many occasions-by other kids.
I am not equipped to handle these tough years ahead of me people.

Just in case you were wondering...

I hit the jackpot this month.
My 'snack day helper' fell on the day of the pumpkin patch field trip.
How exciting!
Right?

Right?

Let's just say that it is NO fun getting on a bus to drive over 30 minutes with 40 4-5 yr olds.
"You're Lola"
"No, YOU'RE Lola"
"uh-ah-YOU are Lola"
over and over and over. Who the hell is Lola. Apparently you are!

It is even LESS fun getting OFF of the school bus when the wind is so hard that you feel as if you will fall over. It is like 35 degrees out with not a speck of sun.
Everyone jumps off the bus to grab the closest pumpkin they could find. That is except the 5 lovely kids I was in charge of. Every pumpkin was the wrong pumpkin.
It got to the point where I happily said,
"Oh, this one is perfect for you! Let's pick it. Oh, you don't like it? Well, sorry, it's picked and in your bag. I know you'll love it later. LET'S GO!?!"
Then, even less fun is having 40 children wash their hands in a ONE SINK BATHROOM before snack...which I had to buy. Which, because it had to be portable just about broke the bank. OK, not really, but is snack day really supposed to cost over $30? I didn't think so!

I've been off the bus for more than an hour, and my feet are still cold.

If you can imagine sleeping on a pile of phone books, you can imagine how uncomfortable our mattress has been the last year or so. We finally decided to bite the bullet after we realized that for the most part our kids sleep through the night, yet we NEVER sleep through the night.
BTW~Mattress shopping is a nightmare. It's one that I promise to make a full post about soon.
After we decided on the perfect mattress for us, we went even further and decided to get a King size.
Let me tell you, going from a queen to a king is like HEAVEN!
No more do I have to nudge Dave over to his 1/4 of the bed I allow him!
He has his space, I have mine and we are happy to stick to our side of the bed.

Our mattress came 2 days ago.
We could hardly contain the excitement of going to sleep.
Unfortunately, when you are used to sleeping on phone books, a nice new mattress is a bit 'off' and falling asleep didn't prove to be an easy feat, but one we both finally did.
12:12am: THUNK!?!?!?
I jumped out of my bed rushing to Logan's room thinking he fell out of bed again.
To my surprise, I heard "Ow Mama"!
Did I hear this in Logan's room?
Oh no.
MILES FELL OUT OF HIS BED.

My worst nightmare came true.
I didn't know what to do in my half asleep stage and Dave was proving to be useless as I heard him snoring.
I rocked Miles for a good 15 minutes until he stopped shaking and put him back to bed PRAYING he didn't do that again. (we're just not co sleepers here. Not because I don't think it's right, just simply because I can't sleep period)
Then, I stayed awake for the next 1 1/2 hrs because I was waiting for him to fall out and crack his head open.

It's like a bad dream. New mattress. Hopes of a full night sleep.
Ha! He'll show me!

Luckily we've had 1 nap and one night since then and he hasn't tried it again.
Maybe it knocked some fear in him? I don't know.
Regardless, I'm praying he doesn't try again.
He's not even 2 for crying out loud. Logan was in his crib until almost 3!
I'm not ready for the shortened naps, the hard bedtime and the waking up at the crack of dawn. We already wake UP at the crack of dawn, so this would be the crack of the crack of dawn!

Last night however was about 10 times better sleep than the night before.
----------

I had a doctors appt today to talk more about the hysterectomy. I also brought to her attention a breast lump I've had for the past 6-8 weeks. I've had a tumor removed from my breast before, so I'm not really worried about what they'll find.
I AM however worried about the MAMMOGRAM I have to have. I only had an ultrasound last time. I guess I'm aging, right? I get a mammogram AND an ultrasound.
Who's had a mamagram.
Tell me how bad it hurts.
Do you have...um...are you well endowned.
I am TOTALLY not and REALLY can't see my little golf balls shrunk down to the size of a pancake. YOUCH!
Anyone, anyone?

Something old, something new

My sister is getting married in May.
She doesn't have all that many friends, and she really REALLY is one of those people who needs someone to do everything with her (FOR her).
Needless to say, there hasn't been much wedding planning going on yet.
Am I the only one who really couldn't care less about what the center pieces are or what the favors are? I mean, it's been 6 years since I got married and I don't think I've thought about weddings since.
Saturday my sister came to go shopping for dresses with me and our mom.
Let's just say again, I REALLLLLY am glad I'm already married and will never have to do that all over again.

The good news is is that my sister found her dress in the 1 1/2 hr appointment at the very first store. It was even on sale!
Here it is...
wedding dress
It's beautiful, isn't it?

And luckily, I'm VERY pleased with the bridesmaid dress that I'll be wearing...
bridesmaid dress

So, the big things are done, now on to the little crap. (Great Maid of Honor thoughts, huh?)

6 vials gone

I had my hematology apt yesterday.
Let me tell you how much I hate going to the hematologist.
It's a hematology/oncology department.
There are sick people here.
Yesterday I witnessed a woman 50ish silently crying because she just found out she had cancer. The 60ish year old man next to her was giving her secrets and hints on dealing with chemo side effects. He was 100% hairless, obviously very sick, yet so strong for this woman who was falling apart.
I saw people getting chemo in a very small side room.
I saw a woman bringing her mother in for treatment very concerned because her mothers skin was a very obvious shade of yellow.
People are SICK here.
I felt like an impostor.
People gave me the sad face.
People thought I must have cancer.
I wanted to tell them that I didn't, but I buried my nose in a magazine and thanked God that my family is as healthy as we are.

The good news is is that my liver rocks.
It got hit pretty hard from the HELLP, but it's bounced back to even better than normal!
My clotting times are still off, but the Dr thinks that this might just be MY normal. Who here knows what their PT/PTT/Fibrinogen levels are besides me? My guess is, nobody.
And why should you?
We don't know what my levels were pre HELLP, so maybe they were always just a bit 'off'.
But, of course you don't want to leave any stone unturned when it comes to a possible coagulation issue, so I again went and lost 6 vials of blood. Just to be careful.
Not sure when the results will be in. My doctor asked if I'd prefer to get the results on the phone or if I'd like to come in and talk to him in person.
Phone.
Definitely.
I'd rather not ever visit the hematology/oncology department again, bless those poor people!
-----------
OK, who the hell thinks they need to buy their child's Halloween costume more than a month in advance. Cripes, am I the only slow one here?
I LOVE the Old Navy Monkey.
Unfortunately so does everyone else.
They are S-O-L-D out!
Luckily I swiped one in a 12-18 month before they ran out of those, but really, I should have a 24 month. Unfortunately for my second child, he inherited my height genes. He's a shrimp. His 21 month old body fits in the 12-18 months suit just barely, but enough.
When I first saw the monkey I KNEW it was for Miles.
He's 99% monkey! All the other monkey costumes I've seen are no where near as cute as the Old Navy Monkey and a good $10 more PLUS shipping.
So, he'll be able to wear it for one day and then he'll be too big. So much for the $19.50, right?
------------

I'm an enabler, but is it OK?

Dave and I do this nice thing for each other on the weekend. I'd like to say it's just because we like each other, but really it's all for selfish reasons.
Saturday Dave gets to sleep in, Sunday is my turn.
See, it might sound nice and all, but I'd say 75% of Sunday mornings I never fall back to sleep after Dave wakes up because Miles is standing downstairs (half flight) yelling "mom, mama, mom, mom, mom"
Then comes Logan's addition of running around, playing the piano and chasing Miles until the screams of laughter are too fun to ignore.
Our sleep in days were switched around this weekend, and Saturday was my day.
Saturday Miles slept in until 7:15. SOOOO not fair! If I had to get up, I know he would have been up at 6:15, but anyway! ;)

The "mom's" were not cute little noises. They were Cries, loud Cries, loud Cries with crocodile tears. (At least I thought that's what they sounded like)

Despite putting 2 pillows over my ears, I was fully up by 7:30.
Then came the fury.
How DARE I sleep in!

Miles was m.a.d.

Dave is in the process of finishing our 3rd level (tri-level) and my dad was coming over to help put trim up. He arrived in plenty of time to see the full Miles meltdown. Amazed at how his sweet little grandson was acting, he couldn't say anything that would stop the fury.
I must have been out of my mind to think that Miles and I would be able to go buy a bathroom vanity BY OURSELVES, but that's what I tried.
4 stops later, I came home with nothing but the urge to hand over the crabby child and hop on a plane to anywhere.
Later, my mom witnessed a full blown Miles meltdown that just about knocked her over...literally.

Here's the thing. Miles is almost 2. His temper is amazing. He cries at least 1/4 of his awake time. Everyday. Maybe more.

OK...enabler thing arises.

Logan had his pacifier full time until 13 months.
At that time he was only allowed to sleep with it.
When he woke up and we took him out of his crib, we dropped this pacifier and said, 'bye bye'.
Done.

Miles......welll......21 months and OK, he's still on the pacifier full time.
I TRY to make him leave it in the bed, but when he wants it he comes up to his room and pushes down the bumpers and pulls it out. He's no dummy!
I thought about making a pacifier pillow that has a pocket to put them in and hang it above his crib.
See, the problem is...I can't IMAGINE how bad the meltdowns would get if he didn't have his pacifier.

See, this is usually how it goes.
He gets mad at whatever makes him mad. He screams, yells, Cries, sometimes bangs his head on the wall, yells, begs me to pick him up, screams some more.
Then, after he gets tired of all of that, he decides ON HIS OWN to go look for his pacifiers (3 of them-one in the mouth and one in each hand) and calms down.
He then can sit on my lap and just chill out. It's all in his control.

I've tried introducing a bear. He sleeps with it, it's cute, but it's NO pacifier!
I've tried introducing a blanket. No luck at all.
His 'thing' is his pacifiers!

We're getting to that point where it's not really OK with me to be out in public with it, yet, I'm sure our local grocery store would encourage me to continue using it. At least in their store.

When you see a 2+ year old with a pacifier, what do you think?
Me too.

How long do I let it be his thing?
Do you think as his speech increases (and it IS!) that he'll be able to sooth himself better?
Who here had a little hellion like Miles and that child is now older? Anyone? I could really use some advice.
My mom says,
"Jen, perhaps you should talk to his doctor about his temper problems!"
What? What's he going to do mom, come over and babysit??

"I think you need to put him in daycare at least one day a week. It might really do him wonders!!"
UM, perhaps? But then again the person caring for Miles really isn't going to LOVE him. No matter how big the tantrums are, I can forget about them 2 seconds later because I LOVE HIM. They'll just think he's a brat and be mean to him!

"Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about how this affects YOU. He might want to put you on something to help you get through this stage"
Yeah, um, this stage has been since birth. He's just emotionally high strung. He's not passive, that's for sure. I don't need anti-depression meds to help me raise my child. His determination will one day be his strongest attribute, I'm sure of that. How could I make it OK to say, 'hey doc. I need medication to help me raise my child!'. No.

I know I'm going to let Miles keep having his pacifier, at least for now. He needs it. He's got emotional needs that he isn't able to control yet. This helps him. But oy, would you look at my boy in the store and think, 'he's WAAAY too old for a pacifier!'