A great date

I was lucky enough to enjoy the morning with Mama Duck and her sweet little ducklings! ;)
We enjoyed a morning full of toys, food, sun and fun!
Carrie was kind enough to feed Miles while I made lunch!

Duckling was hungry and just couldn't wait to eat!
So she very willingly shared a few Kix with Logan ;)

OK!! I'm READY!

During all the excitement of lunch, Peanut enjoyed a quiet snooze! (Can I say she is the best behaved little girl! Not a PEEP out her her....mouth! ;)

It's amazing how much of a difference 3 months makes!

Umm...yeah...we tried to pose them...didn't work!
BUT here is all four of them together!


Don't mention my ugly furniture! It's literally from 1974. Hand me downs from the inlaws until we buy our own second set. We have better furniture in our 2nd living room...ugly, isn't it?

Had a wonderful morning!
Can't wait for the next time!

Husbands

Does your husband read your blog?
If no, does your husband KNOW about your blog?

Update on the crying scene

So, I wavered a bit, until yesterday!
I hate to say I am 'ferberizing' my child seeing I have never read a Dr. Ferber book, but I guess in a way that is what I am doing.
Yesterday at nap he cried 30 minutes.
This morning, 20min.
This afternoon, 10min.

Both morning and noon naps he woke up after 10 minutes and started crying again.
In the morning nap, he cried another 20 minutes.
The noon nap, 4 minutes.
FOUR minutes.

He slept for 2 hrs this morning.
My NON napping baby usually sleeps 40 min at the most, so this was a great improvement.

Do I sound like a robot? Because let me tell you, it IS killing me. I HATE hearing him cry. Another hard thing about CIO with a second child is not wanting the crying to wake up the 2nd child. Especially in the middle of the night. Tonight will be my first night. It isn't putting him down that will be the problem, it will be the 3-4 times each night that I usually give him his pacifier that will be the problem.
I'm praying that at 2:00am when he decides he wants his pacifier that the crying doesn't wake up Logan.

Everything I read says it takes about a week.
My fingers are crossed!

You know what is funny? Having so many moms in blogville going through the same things at the same times. Here are a few other moms going through the CIO process at the same time!

Julia
Julie
Tertia
Kether(sortof..not really CIO, but she feels the pain I believe)

BAD habits die hard

Seeing Miles never was the best sleeper, we got into a bad habit.
OK, sidetrack for a minute.
It's amazing how having an easy kid makes you think you are the worlds best parent.
Logan ate well/slept well/smiled all the time.
I thought I knew it all!
Especially when number 2 was on it's way. I figured I was soooo good at it first time around, that this time would be even easier!
HA!
It WASN'T me, It was LOGAN!
Anyway, back to the point...
I can't believe I'm going to admit it...
*gulp*
Miles has slept on his tummy since he was 8 weeks old.
Maybe a little earlier.
I can't remember.
We had a talk with his doctor, informed him that NO ONE was sleeping at all.
We told him that we bought the Angelcare monitor
We told him that of course we were afraid of SIDS. We asked if Miles would have of the high risk complications, and he told us that he understood!
He said he had to of course tell us that sleeping on his back was the safest way to prevent sids, but he also said that they recommend babies with severe reflux sleep on their tummys.
Miles didn't have severe reflux, but puked ALL day...so I'm assuming he had(has) reflux.
The monitor helped us sleep soundly. Still does!
When Miles started sleeping in longer stretches, everytime he'd wake up we'd run and slip that pacifier into his mouth before he realized he was awake.
It worked great!
TOO great!
Now, at just a few days shy of 6 months (HOW!!) he NEEDS his pacifier many times to fall asleep.
NOT the habit we wanted to repeat with our second child.
C.I.O.
Heartbreaking in every way.
Our first time was Saturday at nap. He cried for almost 20 min. Not a straight constant cry though, on and off.
Sunday night, 25 minutes.
He cried through Logan's story time and all while we tucked him in.
I then went and sat right by Miles door listening to each and every cry. They were definitely tired crys.
I wanted to run in and save him.
I wanted to slip him that pacifier SO bad.
I felt like a horrible mom, as all moms I'm sure do when their baby is CIO.
Finally, I heard him take a deep breath and that was that.
No more crying.
I still sat there for another 5 minutes to make sure.
For some reason I feel better about ME hating every minute of it too.
I couldn't just go down and turn on the TV while he was crying. Silly, huh?
He woke up at 1:30am and started to cry.
I peeked in and saw that he was sideways in his crib.
His head was up against the side, and his feet were up against the other side. I assumed that wasn't very comfortable, so I turned him, popped him his pacifier and off to bed. I was upset with myself for doing that, and I hope it didn't make it reverse (do you think it did?)
He usually wakes up around 5:00 for a bottle and about 50% of the time falls back to sleep. Today, he woke up at 6:10. MUUUCH better than 5:00.
I figure, it's time.
He's 6 months old, and I'm guessing over 22lbs.
I don't mind the pacifier, but I don't want to have to go get it all night long either. It's not sound sleep for me, OR him.
It's just hard though, listening to the crying. Feeling like your heart is getting ripped out of your chest.
The GOOD thing is, is I know he's changed, fed, warm, cozy, clean...TIRED! Only ONE thing will fix it...sleep!

When you lose something

Say...one of your favorite scrapbooks of your vacation you took 1 1/2 yrs ago...WHERE would you look for it?
I need ideas!
I feel like I've looked EVERYWHERE. A scrapbook doesn't just up and walk out of the house!

Is it OK if I don't feel anything?

Tomorrow Dave has his vasectomy consult.
I was going to go with him, but the 3 family members who could watch both kids are out of town. Too much hassle to just go to the consult.
Is it strange I'm not sad?
His actual 'V' is I think 2 weeks from now.
To be honest, the constant reminder that we shouldn't chance having another child from the multitude of doctors made me sad after Miles' delivery.
I wanted to rebel a bit!
When we thought I COULD be pregnant a couple months ago, I was actually excited! Not so much because I wanted 3 kids, but because I was told I SHOULDN'T try again!
isn't that silly?
(oh, I just had 2 FULL glasses of wine...I've never hit the backspace so many times, so please excuse the points that don't make sense or are spelled wrong! hee hee)
So now that my baby is almost 1/2 of a year old all I see is future!
I told myself I would never rush this child's babyhood.
I wanted him to stay a baby as long as possible!
I didn't want him in jeans at 6 weeks old or even 12 weeks old!
He was my BABY.
Weeeellllll! Then came the DIFFICULT baby stage! BOY was he difficult! (still is many days!!) and NOW I'm saying, 'let the BIG BOY stage begin!'
I'll break out those big boy jeans if they help!
There is a big part of me that wants a baby girl. Rephrase...girl!
I love Miles with every ounce of my being...HOWEVER...HONESTLY after what he has shown me the last almost 6 months I can not EVER go back to infant times.
I see all these people having happy babies. Not me. Miles was not/IS not a very happy child. I cannot go through that again! Period.
I've told Dave that I might want to adopt in the future.
I might!
A girl.
I know that a lot of women feel sad when the 'big V' conversation begins.
I don't feel sad!
It isn't, 'should I have another child', it's 'should I chance that I might not make it through labor/delivery/pregnancy or my BABY might not make it'
I think that makes it easier.
I am DONE having children.
I am done being pregnant.
I'm a bit sad about that. I see the stupid formula commercials (yes I am a FF mom...formula is not stupid) and I see the big glowing belly and I miss it. I miss it.
Do you want to know something funny?
I wanted to be an egg donor.
Do you want to hear something even MORE funny?
I have a friend I've known for 25 years, (I'm 27) who can't have children due to cancer.
I wanted to be her surrogate.
I have bad eggs...I can't be an egg donor no matter what.
I had HELLP...I can never be a surrogate.
I would. I absolutely would.
I would give that gift to someone else.
But you see, God is telling me that my time is over.
It's time to watch my babies grow.
It's time to leave the infant world and go forward being a mom of 2 boys!
Might I adopt a daughter some day, maybe!
Maybe not!
But, Dave can go it and have his vasectomy, and I'm 500% ok with it! (for now...I think!)
Is that OK?

Fingers do NOT belong in his mouth

Yes, I'm talking about you...whether you be my mom, my sister, or any stranger who happens to see my baby.
YOUR FINGERS DO NOT BELONG IN MILES' MOUTH!
No matter HOW bad you feel for him.
No matter HOW hard he is teething.
And then, when I give you a look (dad) for sticking your fingers in his mouth, please do not say, "my fingers are clean." because you've been sitting next to me for over an hour now reading the newspaper. Your fingers are not clean. Your fingers are IN MY child's mouth...not clean.
And when I give you a funny look (mom) when you stick YOUR hand in Miles' mouth, don't pretend that you are just checking out how many teeth are or are not in there.
I have teething toys, many of them, ALL of his toys can go in his mouth. Your fingers, I'd prefer not.
Now, I know you may see MY fingers in his mouth. You see, this is OK. He is my child. If it were YOUR child, I wouldn't put my fingers in your child's mouth.
Please, from here on out...NO fingers in Miles' mouth!

Who hears me on this one????

For Kether and Christine

girls, you think because you each have a new baby at home that you have an excuse for not seeing what's in front of your eyes??? ;)
---
Answer...
First, I never knew Safflower hair could be used for dry hair and soap scum.
The BIIIG bottle that I was going to throw away has gone back in the cabinet!
So, what DID I use it for you ask?
Well, most of you know that I would have tried it all to conceive a baby way back when.
I was told that all lubrications were potentially bad.
I was on clomid...enough said.
We needed something!
I heard from a bunch of women on the TTCAL board that the best sperm friendly lubrication was SAFFLOWER OIL!
Ewww, huh?
Oh, it doesn't work very well either!
I did NOT get pregnant on my safflower oil cycle, FYI.
So THAT will make you think differently when you are picking up some olive oil next time and run across safflower oil!

Only a select few might know this...just a little test!

but I'm just not sure if any of you would!
Lets see...

I cleaned out the cabinet under my bathroom sink today.
I found all sorts of cool things!
I totally forgot about my one minute manicure!
So, I had to take 5 minutes out to give myself a mini manicure/pedicure...lovely soft hands and feet right now!!
I found some old contacts which I haven't worn in years.
I found some old nail polish.
I found some nice bath oils and salts that I haven't used in FOREVER, but now will.
I found some safflower oil.
Who can tell me WHY I found safflower oil in my cabinet?
Anyone?

Anyone??
------
Answer...
First, I never knew Safflower hair could be used for dry hair and soap scum.
The BIIIG bottle that I was going to throw away has gone back in the cabinet!
So, what DID I use it for you ask?
Well, most of you know that I would have tried it all to conceive a baby way back when.
I was told that all lubrications were potentially bad.
I was on clomid...enough said.
We needed something!
I heard from a bunch of women on the TTCAL board that the best sperm friendly lubrication was SAFFLOWER OIL!
Ewww, huh?
Oh, it doesn't work very well either!
I did NOT get pregnant on my safflower oil cycle, FYI.
So THAT will make you think differently when you are picking up some olive oil next time and run across safflower oil!

---
I must suck these days, and I apologize if I do!
My 'daily average' readers has dropped by a quarter!
Gulp!
Sorry! Thanks to all of you who are still putting up with my ramblings!
---
Some pics of my babes!


Do you SEE why it's hard to roll over? Chubba-wubba here can only roll from tummy to back, not the other way yet!

Beer or Icecream, Icecream or Beer?

That was my big dilemma!
I put the kids to bed and sat staring at the refridgerator.
Icecream won.
What a week.
What a loooong week.
My feet are throbbing.
First, the deck is 90% finished. Only one more coat on the floor and it will be done!
Dave will be SO surprised, and I can't wait to see his face when he sees it!
I love suprising him when he has to travel for business!
Day one at the garage sale was a hit! We made about $250! Can't beat that!
Hopefully tomorrow we'll get rid of the rest of our loot!
But the best news of all, Dave went to San Jose to take a class and test. It's very important...CCIE for any of your Cisco people.
He PASSED! He has to take the lab portion in a few months, but after that, it means job security wherever in the WORLD we want to go! (oh wait, we can't go anywhere due to grandparents, huh???)
I'm SO happy for him, proud of him, in awe of his drive and desire to go farther in his career.
*Gush Gush*...point is, it's a GOOD day!
He's flying in tonight and I can't wait to spend some time with him! I haven't seen him in 6 days and have only had quick phone calls with him. His class was 8am-8pm Mon-Thurs. Being 2 hrs earlier than him, he wasn't getting done with class until 10pm my time.
I miss him!!!

While the man is away...

the woman will GET THINGS DONE!

I swear we have a list of about 20 things we have to do around the house.
Dave left for San Jose on Sunday VEERY early morning.
Sunday, I weeded the whole yard and dug up 2 dead trees.
Monday, I tagged all the baby stuff for the garage sale this weekend.
Yesterday, I spent the morning with my dad and then last night spent 5 hrs tagging the rest of the stuff for the garage sale with my sister.
Today, I helped my dad (well...watched my dad) power wash the deck.
Tomorrow, I will HELP my dad stain the deck for a suprise Fathers day gift to Dave.
Friday is my garage sale, and Dave will slip into bed late late that night.
Saturday is the last day of my sale, and the day I get to suprise Dave with a fully stained deck! (can't wait!!!)
So, while Dave is gone, I actually get things done!
Sorry, no time to blog!! (and I LOVE it too!!!)

**oh, damn you others for stealing away my tooth fairy! I hope she came to you house because she skipped mine!**

Join our circle, hold hands and help me along...

Are you down...get down!
take your neighbors hand and follow along.

*Dear Tooth Fairy, I know that you usually only come along to collect the teeth that have fallen out. Ms. Fairy, it's time to step out of your comfort zone and help a poor child (ahem...mom too) in need.
Those damn teeth...they're coming...they are there, right under the gums. With the amount of problems they are giving him, I'm praying it is about 6 of them ready to poke through.
You were kind enough to let Logan pass through this stage with little to no problem. We handed the kid a wet rag or rubber toy to chew on and he was good to go.
I know you're busy and all, really I do. We women do it all! It's OK that you forgot about sweet little Miles. It will all be dust under the rug if you hurry up and get here NOW! You see, Miles(' mom) is about to lose it. The poor boy thinks he has turned into a dog. And with dogs this grumpy, well...you know what they do to dogs this grumpy who bite this much.
I've kept busy while you've forgotten about us. I've given everything imaginable to bite on. His favorite seems to be my chin. I've given him tylenol, teething tablets, oragel, one of those mesh things to put frozen peaches in it, ice, ice bottles...it's not working.
We're down to the last wire here Ms. Fairy, and now it's time to call in the big guns.
I expect, by dawn to see some improvement. If you'd like, I could leave you some milk and cookies, but be aware, I have a crying fussy baby in my hands constantly due to your lack of effort. The cookies will be store bought, probably stale. I know you deserve better, but damn-it, so do we!
As you may be aware, I am alone with 2 kids for the entire week. Don't fail me now woman or you'll be sorry! ahem...I mean, I appreciate your effort and thank you in advance.
You're friend (and mom about to go mad from frazzled nerves)
Miles' mom

My first party AND it happened!

First...
Remember how I said I was going to sell children's books?
Well, my first show is tonight!
It is going to be small, only 5 or 6 people I think, but perfect for my first show!
I'm so excited!
I have 4 shows booked this month, hopefully I'll get more for July!
Wish me luck!! Pray I don't fall on my face!
---
Second...
it finally happened!
Logan has never been interested yet in body parts.
He knows mama sits to go potty and Logan and Daddy stand to go potty.
Done deal, no questions...
until yesterday.
I was feeding Miles, and then I was going to give Logan a bath before bed.
He went potty and was running around bottomless.
He was checking out the goods when he whispered to me,
"mama, do YOU have a pee-pee?"
oh boy...
say the right things,
don't laugh,
DON'T LAUGH!
"Nope sweetie, Mama's and girls don't have pee-pee's."
"you DON"T!!!!!"
"nope!" DON'T LAUGH!!!
"Let me SEE!"
"No honey, you don't need to look to see where mommy goes potty. Mommy's and girls sit down to go potty, that's all." DON'T LAUGH!
Curiosity strikes him and he thinks hard about what he is going to say.
"So, does the potty come out of your bottom?"
"ummm....well...not really."
"oh...so...do you have a tunnel that goes from your bottom out that takes the potty out?"
"yeah, something like that I guess"
"PLEEEASE can I see?"
"no honey, you can't see where mommy goes potty. That's sortof private."
"oh.ok"
"can I have some fruitsnacks now??"

Whew!

It's such a shame

He found his feet.
Yay!
Now he has something to hold onto that stalls his crying by about 3 minutes!
What is the problem?
Well, he's a good 21 lbs.
That makes for a BIG tummy and BIG thighs.
TOO big to allow those little 'piggies' to get into his mouth!
Oh the frustration!
Pulling so hard, mouth wide open ready to taste those sweet toes, but not a chance in hell they will get there!
In a moment of my own frustration on the matter, I tried lifting his bottom off the ground to see if that would help matters.
Nope.
My baby is too fat to suck on his own toes!
Not the best picture, but do you see the thighs are just about the same size as my upper arm!


These were taken during our trip to Alabama!

Product Review

For my fellow moms in cyberspace...


Who hates to clean the bathrooms as much as me??
Carrie assured me yesterday on the phone that I was NOT alone!
We'll not talk about how long it had been since my shower had been clean.
Too long, we'll leave it at that!
It seems I have time to clean the REST of my house, but my shower...nah!
I'll even be brave enough to admit that I make DAVE clean our tub more often than I do!
I use the excuse that he is longer and can reach more than I can without actually getting IN! (we have a 'garden tub' so it's a bit bigger)
Anyway, I've been nagging and nagging Dave to no avail.
THAT is when I found THIS!
Those who hate to clean the tub as much as I do MUST go buy one!
They are only $13, much cheaper than the other tools, like swiffer etc...
I'll be honest, to ME it was a waste on the countertops etc...because who can't spray some stuff and wipe it with a rag?
But for the tub walls and sides...I'll never clean my tub any other way!

***** (5 stars people!)
And that, my friends, is your product review!

Something happened recently

I don't what it was to cause it, but life is getting to be so good!
Let me explain.
Before you judge me by what I am about to say, please read the rest.
I didn't really enjoy my first few months of Miles' life.
At my 6 week post partum checkup, I told my doctor that I wasn't really having a good time. I was going through the motions, very well mind you, but it was just that...Motions.
I sang to Miles, rocked him, googled at him, did all the things I did with Logan.
The difference was, with Logan I felt like every day I got to know him better.
With Miles, not so much.
My doctor first told me to relax and stop making myself feel guilty.
She told me that it was 100% perfectly natural after the traumatic childbirth experience I had. She knew I had major memory loss. In fact, I don't remember a heck of a lot of ANYTHING! What I DO remember is basically like remembering something that someone else told me. I see some images, some flash backs, but as for MEMORY of the birth of my son...nada!
I wish I could explain it, as you probably think that sounds so weird. I truly don't remember. I know that it was about 7 hrs from the time I got checked in to the time that Miles was born. I know I begged and begged for an epi. I remember doctors standing over my bed telling me that we needed to get the baby out. I remember the fear in the med students eyes as she watched and learned. I remember my nurse. I remember the pain. I don't remember laying there and I don't remember more than probably 15 minutes of the entire 7 hrs.
And I for SURE don't remember meeting him the first time. I mean, I remember hazily a baby...but I didn't have that moment of looking into my baby's eyes and I sure as hell don't remember HIM meeting ME for the first time.
I hate it.
It will make me sad for my entire life that I can't remember such a huge part of my life. What will I say to Miles one day when he asks about the day he was born? What will I tell him he looked like? Will I lie?
I hate that I remember almost everything that happened during Logan's labor/delivery and will be able to tell him everything.
"Sorry Miles...I was too sick. My brain was apparently swelling, and I was almost having seizures. I had so many needles pumping drugs into my veins and arms and butt that I don't remember...thank God we're both here!"
Somehow I don't think that will do it.
My neighbor had a baby 6 weeks ago. We were there about 3 weeks ago and she asked me if things were different from baby 1 to baby 2.
100%
Sorry for those of you who are nervous of having your 2nd child.
It is 100% different.
With your first all you do is eat/sleep/breath your baby. You could care less if you eat dinner at 4:00 or 9:00. You eat/shower when you have time because the most important thing to do is watch every little move your baby does. Every coo...you remember exactly how many times he ate, the exact minute you fed him. You know exactly when the last time your baby pooped...you record everything in your memory.
At least that is what I did with Logan.
I KNEW Logan right away.
I knew him in my heart.
I felt that animal instinct to protect him and keep him safe.
Miles...well...who has the time to sit and stare at him 6hrs a day?
I've got another who needs to eat/sleep/play/go to school...etc...
I've got to get up and start my day and get HIM going.
Miles just joined us watching us from his sling or carseat.
Sure, we all talked and smiled and included him in it, but it is nothing like it was with Logan.
My doctor told me that how could I expect to have an immediate bond with him if I didn't even really remember MEETING him?
The good news is, even though I wasn't feeling that bond, I wasn't letting that stop me from taking wonderful care of him.
I still took a million pictures, completely enjoyed snuggling up with him on my shoulder as he slept etc.....but I felt disconnected. His crying didn't affect me as Logan's crying did. It could be because Miles cried ALL OF THE TIME. With Logan, when he cried I immediately went to him and tried to fix it. With MILES, if Grandma or Daddy or whoever was holding him, half of the time I'd let them try to fix the problem before I went over there.
I told my neighbor 3 weeks ago that I still didn't feel as though I KNEW Miles.
She told me that was a good way of looking at it.
It's not as though I (or her with her 2nd baby) didn't LOVE him, I just hadn't had the time to get to know him.
Well, I guess 5 months was that magic number for me.
My friends, I know my baby boy.
I FEEL him in my heart.
When he smiles at me, I feel so much joy I could just burst.
I would stand on my head if it meant that he would give me a belly laugh. He's so stingy on giving those that if he DOES I could cry with happiness.
It's all flooding me lately.
I can't get over how much I love him!
I feel that way I did with Logan so long ago.
And you know what? It isn't as I thought. I thought I'd have to struggle with my feelings feeling that I loved Logan more than Miles seeing I had him alone for so long.
It's not that way at all!
I feel truly like the luckiest woman in the world to have my boys!
It's sortof like finally, my heart was ready to let it all in.
It's an amazing feeling.
I have a computer friend who just had her second child.
She's loved every minute of it so far. She's happier than anyone I've known.
I hated how that made me feel. I felt like, wow! She's such a good mom! I totally suck! I know now that it was just the moment, and now MY moment is here.
Miles' moment is here!
And I couldn't be more happy!!

If it were only this easy?

As we sit eating breakfast this morning, Dave and I discussed the grocery list. I asked if he wanted Chicken for supper. Logan told me he didn't want chicken for supper, but he DID want a Chicken game. How silly of me not to think of that, don't you think?
I said, "hmm...well, I'm not to sure where I'd get a chicken game."
"Yes you do Mama! At the CHICKEN GAME STORE!"
Again, how silly of me not to think of that myself, don't you think?

Today is the day

that I again start my 90 day exercise program.
I started before and quit after 30 days. Such a quitter I am!
Not this time!
I started a blog to FORCE me to keep going.
Because of course, everything in life can and SHOULD be blogged, right? ;)
Here's the link...feel free to come kick my butt when I need it!
AND if you're in the midst of an exercise program, let's support each other!

http://thighs-be-gone.blogspot.com/

Family hiatus

Tell me I'm not alone.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family.
I'm very lucky to have them close to me...very close...TOO close.
I have my inlaw's 6 blocks from me.
I have my parents 3 miles from me.
I have my sister one mile from me.
My brother is about 30 miles from me.
For the most part, we love having them close. It is great to have them have such a big part of my children in their lives, as well as it is good for my CHILDREN to have them as such a big part of their lives.
HOWEVER...
what happens when you just get so annoyed.
You can't hide.
You are constantly in arms reach with them.
That is how I feel right now about two members of my family.
My mother, whom I love so dearly and my sister, who can either be my best friend or worst enemy depending on the day.
I thought we'd love being so close, but lately I'm thinking that was a bad idea.
Dave and I would move at the drop of a hat.
ANYWHERE!
We'd be up for N-S-E-W, as we've both lived in this city our whole lives basically.
But now that we've been married for almost 5 years and we have two children who know their grandparents so well, we can't just up and go.
It seems to me that we can't do ANYTHING without approval.
I remember when we were going through infertility treatments and I decided I didn't want to go through with the RE appt because the cost of everything just made me so stressed. I didn't want to think about going $20,000 in debt for one IVF cycle at my clinic. It made me sick to think about it.
We told Dave's parents and Dave's mom gave our her opinion that we were making one of the biggest mistakes of our life.
Of course, we changed our mind and went to the appt, had the tests, got the diagnosis and got pregnant anyway.
We decide to go on a trip and my dad has to tell us what roads to take or not take and how it would be a bad idea or a good idea.
We buy something for us and our families, which have no idea of our financial status, have to make sure that we can afford it. Yes, us almost 30 yr olds who have never in our lives borrowed a cent from them.
We are in constant monitoring.
They question the way we raise our children. Not in a BAD way, but for instance, Miles is about 21-22 lbs. JUST like Logan was mind you, and is now a skinny tall boy. I was feeding Miles his baby food and my dad asked if I was overfeeding him. As if I didn't do a good enough job on Logan.
I know he didn't mean it in a bad way, just a curious way.
If we don't have a sweatshirt on the boys, my dad is certain to comment, even if it's 70 degrees.
My mom doesn't question what we do, she just makes statements that I know are not meant to harm or question me, but still do.
Dave's mom goes so far as to not follow anything that I say with my kids.
For example, we ate dinner over one time. Logan had a small bowl of icecream for dessert. I'm talking a few tablespoons. About an hour later he said, "grandma, can I have some cookies?" I figured I could answer this question as I didn't WANT him to have cookies. I said, "no Logan, you had icecream already." He says, "I was asking Grandma, Mom"
Would you assume 'Grandma' would give the same answer?
Well, you assumed wrong.
Logan got cookies.
I just wish that we wouldn't have settled down so quickly in the same town as Dave was raised.
I wish that we would have taken the time to figure out WHERE we wanted to live.
Now, we're stuck.
There are jobs all over the country that Dave could apply for, and most likely get with his certifications. We're stuck in a town that doesn't have the best jobs, the jobs that would pay so much more that we're making now.
Don't think that I'm not a little bit happy here, because I am.
I had my only grandparent live right behind me growing up.
We were so close, for the entire time she was alive.
She died when Logan was 3 months old.
I treasure every memory I have with her. She played ball with us, teeter-tottered (sp???)with us and was always out there doing whatever we wanted.
When we got bored, we just walked out our back door into HER back door.
I know that Logan and Miles will have memories just like I do with their grandparents. I am very grateful for that.
I love that they feel safe and secure with all four grandparents.
But then the time comes where I am just annoyed, fed up actually.
I don't want to go over there, and I don't want them to come over here.
It puts a damper on my 'hiatus'

Now, I know I have great taste and all,

but WHY does the newest baby on Passions have to be named MILES???
GRRRR!